Balancing Active Listening with Personal Opinions in Conversation
Effective communication involves both attentive listening and the thoughtful articulation of one's own views. Scripture emphasizes the importance of inclining one's ear to wisdom and understanding [1, 3]. Proverbs 22:17 states, "Incline your ear and hear the words of the wise—apply your mind to my knowledge" [1]. Similarly, Job implores his listeners, "Hear now my reasoning, and listen to the arguments of my lips" [2] and "Listen carefully to my words, and let my exposition be in your ears" [3]. These passages highlight a reciprocal expectation in discourse: to listen intently to others and to be heard in turn.
The patristic tradition underscores the need for patience and quietness in discussion, particularly when disagreements arise. Augustine, in On the Holy Trinity, suggests that in difficult conversations, one should address God on behalf of the other person rather than engaging in extensive debate with them [5]. Another patristic text, ANF Vol 8, advises that when individuals realize their error is being exposed in a disputation, they may attempt to create disturbance to obscure their defeat. Therefore, the investigation of the matter should be conducted "with all patience and quietness" [8]. This approach aims to prevent contention from overshadowing the pursuit of truth [8]. The ANF Vol 2 also notes that falsehood often arises alongside truth, not from a natural principle, but from intentional invention by those who value corrupting the truth [10]. This suggests that careful listening can help discern genuine points from deliberate misdirection.
The balance between listening and expressing one's opinion is also reflected in the concept of "conversation" as understood in earlier theological contexts. Matthew Henry, commenting on Proverbs 27:17, describes conversation as both pleasurable and advantageous, sharpening one's wits and adding to one's knowledge through discourse with others [4]. This view implies an active exchange where both listening and speaking contribute to mutual edification [4]. The Jamieson, Fausset & Brown commentary on 1 Peter 2:12 interprets "conversation" as "behavior" or "conduct," encompassing how one carries oneself in all circumstances, including the confession of faith [11]. This broader understanding suggests that one's entire demeanor, including how one listens and speaks, reflects their Christian walk [11].
Thomas Aquinas, in the Summa Theologica, discusses the active life in relation to the contemplative life. While external actions can hinder contemplation, he also implies that engagement with the world, which includes conversation, is a necessary part of human experience [6]. The ability to articulate one's knowledge is also considered, with Aquinas exploring whether knowledge acquired in life remains in the separated soul, indicating the enduring value of intellectual engagement and expression [7, 9].
Sources
- Proverbs “Proverbs 22:17 (BSB) — Incline your ear and hear the words of the wise— apply your mind to my knowledge—”
- Job “Job 13:6 (LITV) — Hear now my reasoning, and listen to the arguments of my lips.”
- Job “Job 13:17 (LEB) — “Listen carefully to my words, and let my exposition be in your ears.”
- Proverbs (Nonconformist/Puritan) “Matthew Henry on Proverbs 27:17: This intimates both the pleasure and the advantage of conversation. One man is nobody; nor will poring upon a book in a corner accomplish a man as the reading and studying of men will. Wise and profitable discourse sharpens men's wits; and those that have ever so much knowledge may by conference have something added to them. It sharpens men's looks, and, by cheering the spirits, puts a briskness and liveliness into the countenance, and gives a man such an air as shows he is pleased himself and makes him pleasing to those about him. Good men's graces are sharpen”
- Schaff ANF/NPNF (Patristic) “NPNF1 Vol 3: Augustine — On the Holy Trinity — CHAP. 13.--OF THE REMEDY FOR THE FOURTH (part 2): compassionate spirit; and, after briefly going over other points, we ought to impress upon him, in a manner calculated to inspire him with awe, the truths which are most indispensable on the subject of the unity of the Catholic Church,(2) on that of temptation, on that of a Christian conversation in view of the future judgment; and we ought rather to address ourselves to God for him than address much to him concerning God. 19. It is likewise a frequent occurrence that one who at first listened to u”
- theology (Catholic (Scholastic)) “Aquinas, Summa Theologica, Second Part of the Second Part (Secunda Secundae), Of the Active Life in Comparison With the Contemplative Life, Art. 3: Article: Whether the contemplative life is hindered by the active life? I answer that, The active life may be considered from two points of view. First, as regards the attention to and practice of external works: and thus it is evident that the active life hinders the contemplative, in so far as it is impossible for one to be busy with external action, and at the same time give oneself to Divine contemplation. Secondly, active life may be considere”
- theology (Catholic (Scholastic)) “Aquinas, Summa Theologica, First Part (Prima Pars), Of the Knowledge of the Separated Soul, Art. 5: Article: Whether the habit of knowledge here acquired remains in the separated soul? I answer that, Some say that the habit of knowledge resides not in the intellect itself, but in the sensitive powers, namely, the imaginative, cogitative, and memorative, and that the intelligible species are not kept in the passive intellect. If this were true, it would follow that when the body is destroyed by death, knowledge here acquired would also be entirely destroyed. But, since knowledge resides in the ”
- Schaff ANF/NPNF (Patristic) “ANF Vol 8: Twelve Patriarchs, Excerpts, Epistles, Apocrypha, Decretals — CHAP.XXV.--PRINCIPLES ON WHICH THE DISCUSSION SHOULD BE CONDUCTED. (part 1): "For some, in the contest of disputations, when they perceive that their error is confuted, immediately begin, for the sake of making good their retreat, to create a disturbance, and to stir up strifes, that it may not be manifest to all that they are defeated; and therefore I frequently entreat that the investigation of the matter in dispute may be conducted with all patience and quietness, so that if perchance anything seem to be not rightly sp”
- theology (Catholic (Scholastic)) “Aquinas, Summa Theologica, First Part of the Second Part (Prima Secundae), Of the Subject of Habits, Art. 4: Article: Whether there is any habit in the intellect? I answer that, concerning intellective habits there have been various opinions. Some, supposing that there was only one "possible" [*FP, Question [79], Article [2], ad 2] intellect for all men, were bound to hold that habits of knowledge are not in the intellect itself, but in the interior sensitive powers. For it is manifest that men differ in habits; and so it was impossible to put the habits of knowledge directly in that, which, b”
- Schaff ANF/NPNF (Patristic) “ANF Vol 2: Hermas, Tatian, Theophilus, Athenagoras, Clement of Alexandria — CHAP. I.--DEFENCE OF THE TRUTH SHOULD PRECEDE DISCUSSIONS REGARDING IT.[1] (part 1): BY the side of every opinion and doctrine which agrees with the truth of things, there springs up some falsehood; and it does so, not because it takes its rise naturally from some fundamental principle, or from some cause peculiar to the matter in hand, but because it is invented on purpose by men who set a value on the spurious seed, for its tendency to corrupt the truth. This is apparent, in the first place, from those who in former ”
- 1 Peter (Presbyterian) “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown on 1 Peter 2:12: conversation--"behavior"; "conduct." There are two things in which "strangers and pilgrims" ought to bear themselves well: (1) the conversation or conduct, as subjects (Pe1 2:13), servants (Pe1 2:18), wives (Pe1 3:1), husbands (Pe1 3:7), all persons under all circumstances (Pe1 2:8); (2) confession of the faith (Pe1 3:15-16). Each of the two is derived from the will of God. Our conversation should correspond to our Saviour's condition; this is in heaven, so ought that to be. honest--honorable, becoming, proper (Pe1 3:16). Contrast "vain conversation”