Balancing Family Loyalty with Following Jesus in Difficult Circumstances
Following Jesus can involve difficult choices that challenge existing loyalties, particularly within family structures. The New Testament indicates that allegiance to Christ takes precedence over all other relationships, even those with close family members [7]. This commitment can lead to division and social consequences [4, 7, 11].
Jesus himself highlighted the demanding nature of discipleship, stating that following him is not easy and may require forgoing life's normal comforts [6]. He warned his followers that he did not come to bring social or political peace, but rather a "sword," signifying division that arises from the decision to follow him [7]. This division can manifest within families, as some members embrace Jesus while others reject him [11]. For instance, Jesus noted that families in both Jewish and Gentile communities have often been split along these lines [11].
The call to discipleship can be so demanding that it requires a reordering of priorities. Jesus explicitly stated that allegiance to him must supersede allegiance to family [7]. This is illustrated in passages where Jesus calls individuals to follow him, even when it means leaving behind family obligations or comforts [9]. For example, when one person offered to follow Jesus, he was warned that "Following Jesus is not easy; it involves more than intellectual mastery. Following Jesus entails being willing to forgo life’s normal comforts" [6]. Another instance shows Jesus asserting that those who do the will of God are his true "brother and sister and mother," indicating a spiritual family that transcends biological ties [7].
Despite the potential for familial strain, Jesus assured his disciples that any sacrifices made for his sake would be abundantly rewarded. He promised that those who give up houses, brothers, sisters, mothers, children, or lands for him and the gospel would receive a hundred times as much in the present age, along with eternal life in the age to come [8]. This "new family in Christ" and Christian hospitality are presented as part of the recompense for such sacrifices [8].
The early Christian community understood that living a life "worthy of the gospel of Christ" might involve standing firm and contending for the faith, even in challenging circumstances [2]. The apostle Peter noted that "judgment must begin with the household of God," implying that those who claim to follow Christ will face scrutiny and potential hardship [3]. John Calvin, in his Institutes of the Christian Religion, described the Christian life as "a hard, laborious, troubled life, a life full of many and various kinds of evils," which God uses to test and prove his people [5]. While believers may experience bitterness and anxiety due to these trials, they are also filled with spiritual joy and consolation from God [10].
Biblical examples illustrate the importance of family in the life of faith, with families encouraged to worship God together, teach the Scriptures, and live in unity [1]. However, the New Testament introduces a higher loyalty to Christ that can, in certain situations, necessitate a re-evaluation of these familial bonds. The decision to follow Jesus may involve telling others about him despite social consequences, including those from one's own family [4].
Sources
- Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Families — Of saints blessed -- Ps 128:3-6. Should Be taught the Scriptures. -- De 4:9,10. Worship God together. -- 1Co 16:19. Be duly regulated. -- Pr 31:27; 1Ti 3:4,5,12. Live in unity. -- Ge 45:24; Ps 133:1. Live in mutual forbearance. -- Ge 50:17-21; Mt 18:21,22. Rejoice together before God. -- De 14:26. Deceivers and liars should be removed from -- Ps 101:7. Warning against departing from God -- De 29:18. Punishment of irreligious -- Jer 10:25. Good -- Exemplified Abraham. -- Ge 18:19. Jacob. -- Ge 35:2. Joshua. -- Jos 24:15. David. -- 2Sa 6:20. Job. -- Job 1:5.”
- Philippians “Philippians 1:27 (LEB) — Only lead your lives in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ, so that whether I come and see you or am absent I hear ⌞your circumstances⌟, that you are standing firm in one spirit, with one soul contending side by side for the faith of the gospel,”
- I Peter “I Peter 4:17 (BSB) — For it is time for judgment to begin with the family of God; and if it begins with us, what will the outcome be for those who disobey the gospel of God?”
- John (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on John 12:42: 12:42-43 Many people did believe in him, but they wouldn’t admit it. To follow Jesus involves telling others about him despite the social consequences (1:35-51; 4:1-42).”
- CCEL (Reformed) “John Calvin, Institutes of the Christian Religion, section 63: intercourse must prepare for a hard, laborious, troubled life, a life full of many and various kinds of evils; it being the will of our heavenly Father to exercise his people in this way while putting them to the proof. Having begun this course with Christ the first-born, he continues it towards all his children. For though that Son was dear to him above others, the Son in whom he was “well pleased,” yet we see, that far from being treated gently and indulgently, we may say, that not only was he subjected to a perpetual cross while”
- Matthew (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Matthew 8:20: 8:20 Following Jesus is not easy; it involves more than intellectual mastery. Following Jesus entails being willing to forgo life’s normal comforts.”
- Matthew (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Matthew 10:34: 10:34-39 Allegiance to Jesus has priority over allegiance to family. 10:34 Jesus did bring peace (John 14:27), but not of a social and political kind. Instead, Jesus calls humans to make a decision about him, which brings a sword—i.e., division (see Matt 8:21-22; 12:46-50; Luke 12:51).”
- Mark (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Mark 10:29: 10:29-30 Jesus assured his disciples that they would receive whatever they had given up for him many times over, including a new family in Christ (brothers, sisters, mothers, children) and Christian hospitality (houses). • a hundred times: What is gained in following Jesus far outweighs any loss. And in the world to come they will inherit the eternal life that the rich man desired but did not receive.”
- Luke (Nonconformist/Puritan) “Matthew Henry on Luke 9:57: We have here an account of three several persons that offered themselves to follow Christ, and the answers that Christ gave to each of them. The two former we had an account of in Mat 19:21. I. Here is one that is extremely forward to follow Christ immediately, but seems to have been too rash, hasty, and inconsiderate, and not to have set down and counted the cost. 1. He makes Christ a very large promise (Luk 9:57): As they went in the way, going up to Jerusalem, where it was expected Christ would first appear in his glory, one said to him, Lord, I will follow thee ”
- CCEL (Reformed) “John Calvin, Institutes of the Christian Religion, section 63: they feel bitterly, they are at the same time filled with spiritual joy; though pressed with anxiety, breathe exhilarated by the consolation of God. Still there is a certain degree of repugnance in their hearts, because natural sense shuns and dreads what is adverse to it, while pious affection, even through these difficulties, tries to obey the divine will. This repugnance the Lord expressed when he thus addressed Peter: “Verily, verily, I say unto thee, When thou wast young, thou girdedst thyself and walkedst whither thou wouldst”
- Luke (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Luke 21:16: 21:16 Families in Jewish and Gentile communities have often been divided as some members follow Jesus and some reject him.”