Biblical Boundaries in Friendships and Financial Requests
Biblical texts and subsequent theological traditions offer guidance on the nature of friendships and the ethical considerations surrounding financial requests, particularly concerning loans and charity. Friendship, in a biblical context, is often characterized by mutual affection, shared life, and reciprocal support [6, 10, 11]. Financial interactions, especially lending, are frequently addressed with an emphasis on compassion for the poor and the avoidance of usury [4].
The concept of friendship in the Bible extends beyond mere acquaintance. Proverbs 19:4 notes that "Wealth adds many friends, but the poor is separated from his friend," suggesting a pragmatic, and at times superficial, aspect of human relationships, but also highlighting the vulnerability of those without resources [1]. True friendship, however, is depicted as requiring active engagement and reciprocity. John Gill, commenting on Proverbs 18:24, states that "A man that hath friends must show himself friendly," implying that friendship is not passive but demands mutual effort and expression of care [11]. This active dimension of friendship can be spiritually applied, where a believer is seen as having many friends, including God, who demonstrates friendship through love, provision, and intimate communication [11].
Theological traditions further elaborate on the nature of friendship. Thomas Aquinas, in his Summa Theologica, defines charity not only as the love of God but also as a form of friendship with God, involving mutual love and communion [6]. This understanding of friendship as a "mutual return of love" and "mutual communion" is rooted in biblical passages like 1 John 4:16 and 1 Corinthians 1:9 [6]. Clement of Alexandria, in the early church, connected hope and love, describing love as "consent in what pertains to reason, life, and manners, or in brief, fellowship in life, or it is the intensity of friendship and of affection, with right reason" [10]. This patristic view emphasizes shared values and deep affection as hallmarks of true friendship. Charles Hodge, one theologian, discusses the enduring nature of certain relationships, even after the death of the person through whom they arose, illustrating the depth and lasting quality of true affection that can characterize friendship [7].
Regarding financial requests, biblical law and subsequent interpretations provide clear boundaries, particularly concerning loans and aid to the needy. The Mosaic Law strictly forbade charging interest on loans to the poor, and initially, even to foreigners [4]. This prohibition was later limited to Hebrews, from whom "no usury on any pretence to be exacted, but relief to the poor by way of loan was enjoined, and excuses for evading this duty were forbidden" [4]. This highlights a strong ethical imperative to provide financial assistance to those in need within the community without seeking profit from their distress. Passages like Exodus 22:25 and Leviticus 25:35, 37 underscore this principle [4].
The New Testament expands on this theme, emphasizing generosity and charity. Jesus' teaching in Luke 16:9, "Make . . . friends of the mammon of unrighteousness," is interpreted by Jamieson, Fausset, and Brown as an instruction to use wealth to show mercy to the poor, thereby securing a heavenly reward [8]. This suggests that financial resources, even those acquired through potentially "unrighteous" means, can be redeemed through acts of charity, leading to eternal benefits [8]. John Gill, commenting on Matthew 5:42, interprets Jesus' command to "Give to him that asketh thee" as a broad injunction to give alms to anyone in need, regardless of their background, while also acknowledging that "the circumstances of persons, and their relation to men, are to be considered, and special regard is to be had to the household of faith" [9]. This implies a general call to generosity, tempered by practical wisdom and a prioritization of fellow believers.
However, the biblical tradition also recognizes the potential pitfalls of wealth and the need for moderation. Calvin, in his Institutes of the Christian Religion, advises against excessive indulgence and encourages believers to "curb luxury" and "cut off all show of superfluous abundance" [12]. He also stresses that those in "narrow and slender circumstances should learn to bear their wants patiently," rather than becoming "immoderately desirous of things" [12]. This perspective suggests a boundary on both giving and receiving, advocating for responsible stewardship and contentment.
The concept of "loan" itself carries significant weight in biblical thought. The Hebrew term Mishael means "who is asked for or lent," indicating the commonality of such requests in ancient society [3]. The name Casiphia, meaning "money; covetousness," points to the potential for financial dealings to lead to greed [5]. Rabbinic law, as seen in Maimonides' Mishneh Torah, even addresses situations where financial matters intersect with personal status, such as a woman imprisoned for financial reasons being permitted to marry into the priesthood, as it was assumed she would not have been raped due to the captors' fear of forfeiting money owed [13]. This illustrates the intricate ways financial considerations were woven into the fabric of ancient society and law.
The request of the Reubenites and Gadites in Numbers 32:5, "precamurque si invenimus gratiam coram te, ut des nobis famulis tuis eam in possessionem, nec facias nos transire Jordanem" (we pray, if we have found favor in your sight, that you give this land to your servants as a possession, and do not make us cross the Jordan), exemplifies a specific financial and territorial request within a communal context [2]. This request, while not directly about friendship or lending, highlights the practice of making petitions for resources and land, which were fundamental to the well-being of the community.
Sources
- Proverbs “Wealth adds many friends, but the poor is separated from his friend. -- Proverbs 19:4”
- Numbers “precamurque si invenimus gratiam coram te, ut des nobis famulis tuis eam in possessionem, nec facias nos transire Jordanem. -- Numbers 32:5”
- Hitchcock's Bible Names “Hitchcock's Bible Names: Mishael — who is asked for or lent”
- Smith's Bible Dictionary “Smith's Bible Dictionary: Loan — The law strictly forbade any interest to be taken for a loan to any poor person, and at first, as it seems, even in the case of a foreigner; but this prohibition was afterward limited to Hebrews only, from whom, of whatever rank, not only was no usury on any pretence to be exacted, but relief to the poor by way of loan was enjoined, and excuses for evading this duty were forbidden. (Exodus 22:25; Leviticus 25:35,37) As commerce increased, the practice of usury, and so also of suretyship, grew up; but the exaction of it from a Hebrew appears to have been regarde”
- Hitchcock's Bible Names “Hitchcock's Bible Names: Casiphia — money; covetousness”
- theology (Catholic (Scholastic)) “Aquinas, Summa Theologica, First Part of the Second Part (Prima Secundae), Of the Connection of Virtues, Art. 5: Article: Whether charity can be without faith and hope? I answer that, Charity signifies not only the love of God, but also a certain friendship with Him; which implies, besides love, a certain mutual return of love, together with mutual communion, as stated in Ethic. viii, 2. That this belongs to charity is evident from 1 Jn. 4:16: "He that abideth in charity, abideth in God, and God in him," and from 1 Cor. 1:9, where it is written: "God is faithful, by Whom you are called unto th”
- CCEL (Reformed (Old Princeton)) “Charles Hodge, Systematic Theology, Vol. 3, section 49: the case supposed, is a matter of feeling, affection, and intimacy. This relationship is not dissolved by the death of the person through whom it arose. A wife’s sister continues to cherish to her widowed brother-in-law the same sisterly affection after, as before her sister’s death. She can live with him, guide his house, and take charge of his children, without the slightest violation of her self-respect, and without fear of incurring the disrespect of others. Besides, if relationship by affinity is dissolved by death, then a son may, o”
- Luke (Presbyterian) “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown on Luke 16:9: Make . . . friends of--Turn to your advantage; that is, as the steward did, "by showing mercy to the poor" (Dan 4:27; compare Luk 12:33; Luk 14:13-14). mammon of unrighteousness--treacherous, precarious. (See on Mat 6:24). ye fail--in respect of life. they may receive you--not generally, "ye may be received" (as Luk 6:38, "shall men give"), but "those ye have relieved may rise up as witnesses for you" at the great day. Then, like the steward, when turned out of one home shall ye secure another; but better than he, a heavenly for an earthly, an ever”
- Matthew (Baptist/Reformed) “John Gill on Matthew 5:42: Give to him that asketh thee,.... To every man, Luk 6:30 whether Jew or Gentile; friend or foe; believer or unbeliever; a good, or a bad man; worthy or unworthy; deserving or not, that asketh alms, whether food or money; give it freely, readily, cheerfully, according to your abilities, and as the necessity of the object requires: for such rules are always supposed, and to be observed; and though all are to be relieved, yet the circumstances of persons, and their relation to men, are to be considered, and special regard is to be had to the household of faith. And fr”
- Schaff ANF/NPNF (Patristic) “ANF Vol 2: Hermas, Tatian, Theophilus, Athenagoras, Clement of Alexandria — CHAP. IX.--THE CONNECTION OF THE CHRISTIAN VIRTUES. (part 1): Such a fear, accordingly, leads to repentance and hope. Now hope is the expectation of good things, or an expectation sanguine of ab- 357 sent good; and favourable circumstances are assumed in order to good hope, which we have learned leads on to love. Now love turns out to be consent in what pertains to reason, life, and manners, or in brief, fellowship in life, or it is the intensity of friendship and of affection, with fight reason, in the enjoyment of as”
- Proverbs (Baptist/Reformed) “John Gill on Proverbs 18:24: A man that hath friends must show himself friendly,.... Friendship ought to be mutual and reciprocal, as between David and Jonathan; a man that receives friendship ought to return it, or otherwise he is guilty of great ingratitude. This may be spiritually applied; a believer is "a man of friends" (b), as it may be rendered; he has many friends: God is his friend, as appears by his early love to him, his choice of him, and provisions of grace for him; by sending his son to save him; by visiting him, not only in a way of providence, but of grace; by disclosing his se”
- CCEL (Reformed) “John Calvin, Institutes of the Christian Religion, section 65: must indulge as little as possible; on the other hand, 2034 it must be his constant aims not only to curb luxury, but to cut off all show of superfluous abundance, and carefully beware of converting a help into an hinderance. 5. Another rule is, that those in narrow and slender circumstances should learn to bear their wants patiently, that they may not become immoderately desirous of things, the moderate use of which implies no small progress in the school of Christ. For in addition to the many other vices which accompany a longing”
- Mishneh Torah (Maimonides) (Jewish (Rabbinic)) “Mishneh Torah (Maimonides), Mishneh Torah%2C Forbidden Intercourse 18:30: When a woman was imprisoned because of financial matters, she is permitted [to marry into the priesthood]. 101 I.e., we do not suspect that she was raped, because the gentiles will fear to rape her lest they be forced to forfeit the money owed them [Ramah ( Even HaEzer 7:11)]. These laws apply not only to jails, but instances when women are held captive by men for other reasons. When she is imprisoned with regard to matters involving capital punishment, she is forbidden to the priesthood. 102 I.e., we fear that she was r”