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Biblical Counseling Guidance for Marriage Bible Studies

Marriage, in biblical understanding, is a foundational covenant relationship between a man and a woman, established by God [15]. The terms "husband" and "wife" denote the male and female partners in this union, respectively [4, 6]. The concept of "betrothing" or "espousal" in ancient Israelite culture signified a formal engagement, often involving a dowry, which was considered the initial stage of marriage, making the couple legally bound even before cohabitation [1]. A "bride" and "bridegroom" refer to the woman and man at the time of their marriage ceremony [5]. The term "spouse" is a general descriptor for either partner in a marriage [2].

Biblical counseling for marriage draws heavily from scriptural principles, addressing various aspects of marital life. One significant area of guidance concerns the formation of marriage. The Old Testament, particularly in rabbinic tradition, emphasizes the importance of lineage and suitability in choosing a spouse. Maimonides, for instance, discusses the need for investigation into a woman's lineage if there is any doubt about its acceptability, though one tradition notes that women of acceptable lineage were not warned against marrying men of unacceptable lineage [8]. This highlights a concern for the integrity and continuity of family lines within the community.

The New Testament provides direct instructions regarding marriage, particularly in the writings of Paul. In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul offers extensive counsel on marriage, singleness, and divorce [13]. He advises that "every man should have his own wife and every wife her own husband," recognizing marriage as the general norm [11]. However, he also acknowledges that in times of "present distress," it might be advisable for some not to marry, not because marriage is inherently bad, but due to specific circumstances [11]. This counsel is not meant to diminish the authority of his other instructions but is grounded in known sayings of Jesus concerning marriage and divorce [9].

A crucial aspect of biblical marriage counseling involves addressing challenges within the marital union. Paul's instructions in 1 Corinthians 7:10-11 directly address Christian couples contemplating divorce, stating that a wife should not separate from her husband, and if she does, she should remain unmarried or be reconciled to him [9]. This reflects a strong emphasis on the permanence of the marital bond. Even in cases of separation, the expectation is fidelity to one's spouse [9].

The purpose of marriage is also a recurring theme in biblical and theological discussions. Augustine, a significant patristic theologian, discusses the "good of marriage" not solely for the procreation of children, but also for mutual support and as a means of avoiding sin [10]. one tradition argues that sexual intercourse within marriage, even if not for procreation, can be pardoned, provided it is not excessive or against nature [10]. Augustine also addresses the issue of those who have vowed continence but later wish to marry, stating that while marriage itself is not condemned, the desire to marry after such a vow constitutes a "condemnation" because it breaks a "first faith" [14]. He clarifies that marriage is not to be condemned, but rather the turning back from a chosen path of continence [12].

Another important consideration in biblical counseling for marriage is the issue of interfaith marriages. Thomas Aquinas, a scholastic theologian, addresses whether a believer can marry an unbeliever. one tradition argues against such unions, primarily because "the chief good of marriage is the offspring to be brought up to the worship of God" [7]. If parents are of different faiths, their intentions for the child's religious upbringing would be contrary, thus hindering the proper education of the offspring in the worship of God [7]. This perspective underscores the theological and spiritual unity expected within a Christian marriage, particularly concerning the raising of children.

The concept of "affinity" refers to relationships created by marriage, such as a husband's relationship to his wife's relatives [3]. These relationships are recognized in biblical law and tradition, influencing social and familial structures. The covenantal nature of marriage, as described in Proverbs 2:17, refers to the marriage bond as a "covenant of God," implying its sacred and divinely instituted character [15]. This understanding underpins the seriousness with which biblical counseling approaches marital commitments and challenges.

Sources

  1. Smith's Bible Dictionary “Smith's Bible Dictionary: Betrothing — [[300]Marriage.1]”
  2. Smith's Bible Dictionary “Smith's Bible Dictionary: Spouse — [[1167]Marriage]”
  3. Smith's Bible Dictionary “Smith's Bible Dictionary: Affinity — [[77]Marriage]”
  4. Smith's Bible Dictionary “Smith's Bible Dictionary: Husband — [[637]Marriage]”
  5. Smith's Bible Dictionary “Smith's Bible Dictionary: Bride, Bridegroom — [[324]Marriage]”
  6. Smith's Bible Dictionary “Smith's Bible Dictionary: Wife — [[1293]Marriage]”
  7. theology (Catholic (Scholastic)) “Aquinas, Summa Theologica, Supplement (Supplementum), Of Disparity of Worship As an Impediment to Marriage, Art. 1: Article: Whether a believer can marry an unbeliever? I answer that, The chief good of marriage is the offspring to be brought up to the worship of God. Now since education is the work of father and mother in common, each of them intends to bring up the child to the worship of God according to their own faith. Consequently if they be of different faith, the intention of the one will be contrary to the intention of the other, and therefore there cannot be a fitting marriage between”
  8. Mishneh Torah (Maimonides) (Jewish (Rabbinic)) “Mishneh Torah (Maimonides), Mishneh Torah%2C Forbidden Intercourse 19:21: Why must a man make an investigation when he desires to marry a woman from a family concerning whom the presumption of acceptable lineage has been impaired and yet a woman who desires to marry into this family is not required to make an investigation? Because woman of acceptable lineage were not warned against marrying [men of] unacceptable lineage. 51 The Rambam's statements (based on his interpretation of Kiddushin 76b) have attracted the attention of the commentaries who raise a basic question: The prohibition against”
  9. 1 Corinthians (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on 1 Corinthians 7:10: 7:10-11 Paul advises Christian couples contemplating divorce. • a command that comes . . . from the Lord: This doesn’t mean that Paul’s other instructions (see 7:12, 25, 40) have less authority. It means this particular counsel is grounded in known sayings of Jesus (see Matt 5:32; 19:9; Mark 10:11-12; Luke 16:18). • But if she does leave him: Paul acknowledges that some couples have great difficulty in living together, but even in that case they must honor their marriage vows to be faithful to their spouse alone (see 1 Cor 7:27; Rom 7:2).”
  10. Schaff ANF/NPNF (Patristic) “NPNF1 Vol 3: Augustine — On the Holy Trinity — ON THE GOOD OF MARRIAGE. (part 13): not alone for the begetting of children, and, at times, not at all for the begetting of children; and it is not that marriage forces this to take place, but that it procures pardon for it; provided however it be not so in excess as to hinder what ought to be set aside as seasons of prayer, nor be changed into that use which is against nature, on which the Apostle could not be silent, when speaking of the excessive corruptions of unclean and impious men. For necessary sexual intercourse for begetting is free from”
  11. CCEL (Reformed (Old Princeton)) “Charles Hodge, Systematic Theology, Vol. 3, section 49: and the nature of man, that it is best that every man should have his own wife and every wife her own husband; but in view of the “present (or imminent) distress,” he advises his readers not to marry. He writes to the Corinthians as a man would write to an army about to enter on a most unequal conflict in an enemy’s country, and for a protracted period. He tells them: ‘This is no time for you to think of marriage. You have a right to marry. And in general it is best that all men should marry. But in your circumstances marriage can only le”
  12. Schaff ANF/NPNF (Patristic) “NPNF1 Vol 6: Augustine — Homilies on the Gospels — THE WORLD, THE LOVE OF THE FATHER IS NOT (part 8): that which is unlawful. He too who would wish afterwards to return from continence to a married life, has "looked back;" he has chosen what is in itself lawful, yet he has "looked back." Is marriage then to be condemned? No. Marriage is not to be condemned; but see whither he had come who has chosen it. He had already got before it. When he was living as a young man in voluptuousness, marriage was before him; he was making his way towards it; but when he had chosen continence, marriage was beh”
  13. 1 Corinthians (Methodist/Wesleyan) “Adam Clarke on 1 Corinthians 7 (introduction): A solution of several difficult cases concerning marriage and married persons, Co1 7:1-6. God has given every man his proper gift, Co1 7:7. Directions to the unmarried and widows, Co1 7:8, Co1 7:9. Directions to the married, Co1 7:10, Co1 7:11. Directions to men married to heathen women, and to women married to heathen men, Co1 7:12-16. Every man should abide in his vocation, Co1 7:17-24. Directions concerning virgins, and single persons in general, Co1 7:25-28. How all should behave themselves in the things of this life, in reference to eternity,”
  14. Schaff ANF/NPNF (Patristic) “NPNF1 Vol 3: Augustine — On the Holy Trinity — THE GOOD OF WIDOWHOOD (part 11): by debt of vow offered, from this time not only to enter upon marriage, but, although one be not married, to wish to marry is matter of condemnation. For, in order to show this, the Apostle saith not, "When they shall have lived in delights, in Christ" they marry;(8) but "they wish to marry; having," saith he, "condemnation, in that they have made of none effect their first faith," although not by marrying, yet by wishing; not that the marriages even of such are judged matter of condemnation; but there is condemned”
  15. Proverbs (Presbyterian) “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown on Proverbs 2:17: guide . . . youth--lawful husband (Jer 3:4). covenant . . . God--of marriage made in God's name.”
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