Biblical Principles for Choosing a Spouse
Biblical Principles for Choosing a Spouse
The Bible provides guidance on choosing a spouse, emphasizing the importance of marrying within the faith and maintaining a strong spiritual foundation in the relationship. According to Torrey's Topical Textbook, a spouse should be chosen with consideration for their spiritual character, as indicated by the biblical instruction not to be "unequally yoked" with unbelievers [2]. This principle is rooted in passages such as Genesis 24:3-4, where Abraham instructs his servant to find a wife for Isaac from among their relatives, rather than from the daughters of Canaan [6].
The biblical account of marriage begins with the creation narrative in Genesis 2:18-25, establishing principles that underlie Christian understanding of marriage, including monogamy, the unity of man and wife, and the indissolubility of the marriage bond [5]. In the New Testament, the apostle Paul advises believers to marry "in the Lord" (1 Corinthians 7:39), emphasizing the importance of shared faith in the marital relationship [3].
Torrey's Topical Textbook outlines several duties of husbands and wives, including mutual love, respect, and faithfulness. Husbands are instructed to love their wives as Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:25-33), while wives are called to reverence and submit to their husbands (Ephesians 5:22-24; 1 Peter 3:1-7) [1, 2]. The biblical ideal for marriage is characterized by a deep commitment to one another, mirroring the covenant relationship between God and his people [10].
In choosing a spouse, biblical principles also caution against marrying those who are ungodly or unregenerate. The book of Leviticus prohibits priests from marrying certain individuals, including those who are defiled or prostitutes (Leviticus 21:14), while Ezekiel 44:22 restricts the marriage options for priests to virgins from the house of Israel or the widow of a priest. These passages underscore the importance of spiritual compatibility and the potential consequences of marrying outside the faith [4, 7].
The wisdom literature of Proverbs highlights the significance of choosing a wise and godly spouse, noting that a good wife is a gift from the Lord (Proverbs 19:14; 31:10-31). The New Testament reinforces this emphasis on spiritual character, encouraging believers to prioritize their relationship with Christ above all else, including family ties [9, 8].
Sources
- Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Husbands — Should have but one wife -- Ge 2:24; Mr 10:6-8; 1Co 7:2-4. Have authority over their wives -- Ge 3:16; 1Co 11:3; Eph 5:23. Duty of, to wives To respect them. -- 1Pe 3:7. To love them. -- Eph 5:25-33; Col 3:19. To regard them as themselves. -- Ge 2:23; Mt 19:5. To be faithful to them. -- Pr 5:19; Mal 2:14,15. To dwell with them for life. -- Ge 2:24; Mt 19:3-9. To comfort them. -- 1Sa 1:8. To consult with them. -- Ge 31:4-7. Not to leave them, though unbelieving. -- 1Co 7:11,12,14,16. Duties of, not to interfere with their duties to Christ -- Lu 14:26; Mt 19”
- Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Wives — Not to be selected from among the ungodly -- Ge 24:3; 26:34,35; 28:1. Duties of, to their husbands To love them. -- Tit 2:4. To reverence them. -- Eph 5:33. To be faithful to them. -- 1Co 7:3-5,10. To be subject to them. -- Ge 3:16; Eph 5:22,24; 1Pe 3:1. To obey them. -- 1Co 14:34; Tit 2:5. To remain with them for life. -- Ro 7:2,3. Should be adorned Not with ornaments. -- 1Ti 2:9; 1Pe 3:3. With modesty and sobriety. -- 1Ti 2:9. With a meek and quiet spirit. -- 1Pe 3:4,5. With good works. -- 1Ti 2:10; 5:10. Good Are from the Lord. -- Pr 19:14. Are a token of ”
- Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Marriage — Divinely instituted -- Ge 2:24. A covenant relationship -- Mal 2:4. Designed for The happiness of man. -- Ge 2:18. Increasing the human population. -- Ge 1:28; 9:1. Raising up godly seed. -- Mal 2:15. Preventing fornication. -- 1Co 7:2. The expectation of the promised seed of the woman an incentive to, in the early age -- Ge 3:15; 4:1. Lawful in all -- 1Co 7:2,28; 1Ti 5:14. Honourable for all -- Heb 13:4. Should be only in the Lord -- 1Co 7:39. Expressed by Joining together. -- Mt 19:6. Making affinity. -- 1Ki 3:1. Taking to wife. -- Ex 2:1. Giving daughte”
- Leviticus “A widow, or one divorced, or a woman who has been defiled, or a prostitute, these he shall not marry: but a virgin of his own people shall he take as a wife. -- Leviticus 21:14”
- Smith's Bible Dictionary “Smith's Bible Dictionary: Marriage — + Its origin and history .--The institution of marriage dates from the time of man's original creation. (Genesis 2:18-25) From (Genesis 2:24) we may evolve the following principles: (1) The unity of man and wife, as implied in her being formed out of man. (2) The indissolubleness of the marriage bond, except on; the strongest grounds, Comp. (Matthew 19:9) (3) Monogamy, as the original law of marriage (4) The social equality of man and wife. (5) The subordination of the wife to the husband. (1 Corinthians 11:8,9; 1 Timothy 2:13) (6) The respective duties of ”
- Genesis “but you shall go to my father’s house, and to my relatives, and take a wife for my son.’ -- Genesis 24:38”
- Ezekiel “Neither shall they take for their wives a widow, nor her who is put away; but they shall take virgins of the seed of the house of Israel, or a widow who is the widow of a priest. -- Ezekiel 44:22”
- Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Conduct, Christian — Believing God -- Mr 11:22; Joh 14:11,12. Fearing God -- Ec 12:13; 1Pe 2:17. Loving God -- De 6:5; Mt 22:37. Following God -- Eph 5:1; 1Pe 1:15,16. Obeying God -- Lu 1:6; 1Jo 5:3. Rejoicing in God -- Ps 33:1; Hab 3:18. Believing in Christ -- Joh 6:29; 1Jo 3:23. Loving Christ -- Joh 21:15; 1Pe 1:7,8. Following the example of Christ -- Joh 13:15; 1Pe 2:21-24. Obeying Christ -- Joh 14:21; 15:14. Living To Christ. -- Ro 14:8; 2Co 5:15. To righteousness. -- Mic 6:8; Ro 6:18; 1Pe 2:24. Soberly, righteously, and godly. -- Tit 2:12. Walking Honestly. -- 1”
- Proverbs (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Proverbs 19:13: 19:13-14 No choice for a son is more important than a good wife (cp. 31:10-31); a poor choice brings agony (see 10:1; 11:22; 12:4; 21:9, 19; 25:24; 27:15-17). The wise man will look to the Lord to give an understanding wife.”
- Ezekiel (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Ezekiel 23:4: 23:4 Marriage is commonly used in the Bible as a symbol for the covenant relationship between God and his people (e.g., Isa 54:1-8; Eph 5:22-33). Adultery symbolizes Israel’s spiritual unfaithfulness (e.g., Hos 1–3). God makes his covenants in spite of, not because of, his people’s character (Rom 5:6-11).”