Biblical Priorities Between Spouse and Children
Biblical Priorities Between Spouse and Children
The biblical account presents marriage and parenthood as divinely instituted and intertwined aspects of human life. Marriage is described as a covenant relationship between a man and a woman, designed for their mutual happiness, the procreation of children, and the prevention of fornication [2]. The biblical priorities between spouse and children are rooted in the understanding that both relationships are sacred and essential to the well-being of individuals and society.
In the biblical narrative, the family is portrayed as a fundamental unit of society, with parents receiving their children as a gift from God [4]. The duty of parents towards their children includes loving them, bringing them to Christ, training them up for God, and instructing them in God's word [1, 4]. Children are expected to honor their parents, obey them, and fear them [1].
The relationship between spouses is also given significant attention in the biblical account. Husbands are instructed to love their wives, and wives are expected to reverence and be subject to their husbands [3, 9]. The biblical teaching on marriage emphasizes the importance of mutual love, respect, and fidelity between spouses.
In situations where priorities between spouse and children may conflict, the biblical account provides guidance. For instance, in the story of Jacob, his love for Rachel and Joseph is evident, yet he also takes care to prioritize his other children and wives according to their respective positions in the family [7]. The apostle Paul's instruction that children should take care of their parents and show piety at home highlights the importance of family relationships and responsibilities [5, 6].
The early Christian fathers also addressed the issue of priorities between spouse and children. According to Augustine, the desire for children was a primary motivation for marriage among the holy men of former times [10]. However, he also acknowledged that the love between spouses is a fundamental aspect of marriage.
In the Reformed tradition, Charles Hodge notes that there is a community of life between husband and wife, and that the life of parents is communicated to their children [8]. This understanding underscores the interconnectedness of family relationships and the importance of balancing priorities between spouse and children.
The biblical priorities between spouse and children are not necessarily presented as being in conflict. Rather, the biblical account emphasizes the importance of maintaining harmony and balance within the family. As the apostle Paul notes, the relationship between husband and wife, parent and child, and master and servant are all interconnected and reflective of the Church's relationship to Christ [9].
Sources
- Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Children — Christ was an example to -- Lu 2:51; Joh 19:26,27. Are a gift from God -- Ge 33:5; Ps 127:3. Are capable of glorifying God -- Ps 8:2; 148:12,13; Mt 21:15,16. Should be Brought to Christ. -- Mr 10:13-16. Brought early to the house of God. -- 1Sa 1:24. Instructed in the ways of God. -- De 31:12,13; Pr 22:6. Judiciously trained. -- Pr 22:15; 29:17; Eph 6:4. Should Obey God. -- De 30:2. Fear God. -- Pr 24:21. Remember God. -- Ec 12:1. Attend to parental teaching. -- Pr 1:8,9. Honour parents. -- Ex 20:12; Heb 12:9. Fear parents. -- Le 19:3. Obey parents. -- Pr ”
- Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Marriage — Divinely instituted -- Ge 2:24. A covenant relationship -- Mal 2:4. Designed for The happiness of man. -- Ge 2:18. Increasing the human population. -- Ge 1:28; 9:1. Raising up godly seed. -- Mal 2:15. Preventing fornication. -- 1Co 7:2. The expectation of the promised seed of the woman an incentive to, in the early age -- Ge 3:15; 4:1. Lawful in all -- 1Co 7:2,28; 1Ti 5:14. Honourable for all -- Heb 13:4. Should be only in the Lord -- 1Co 7:39. Expressed by Joining together. -- Mt 19:6. Making affinity. -- 1Ki 3:1. Taking to wife. -- Ex 2:1. Giving daughte”
- Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Wives — Not to be selected from among the ungodly -- Ge 24:3; 26:34,35; 28:1. Duties of, to their husbands To love them. -- Tit 2:4. To reverence them. -- Eph 5:33. To be faithful to them. -- 1Co 7:3-5,10. To be subject to them. -- Ge 3:16; Eph 5:22,24; 1Pe 3:1. To obey them. -- 1Co 14:34; Tit 2:5. To remain with them for life. -- Ro 7:2,3. Should be adorned Not with ornaments. -- 1Ti 2:9; 1Pe 3:3. With modesty and sobriety. -- 1Ti 2:9. With a meek and quiet spirit. -- 1Pe 3:4,5. With good works. -- 1Ti 2:10; 5:10. Good Are from the Lord. -- Pr 19:14. Are a token of ”
- Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Parents — Receive their children from God -- Ge 33:5; 1Sa 1:27; Ps 127:3. Their duty to their children is To love them. -- Tit 2:4. To bring them to Christ. -- Mt 19:13,14. To train them up for God. -- Pr 22:6; Eph 6:4. To instruct them in God's word. -- De 4:9; 11:19; Isa 38:19. To tell them of God's judgments. -- Joe 1:3. To tell them of the miraculous works of God. -- Ex 10:2; Ps 78:4. To command them to obey God. -- De 32:46; 1Ch 28:9. To bless them. -- Ge 48:15; Heb 11:20. To pity them. -- Ps 103:13. To provide for them. -- Job 42:15; 2Co 12:14; 1Ti 5:8. To rule”
- I Timothy “I Timothy 5:4 (BBE) — But if any widow has children or children's children, let these see that it is right to take care of their family and their fathers and mothers: for this is pleasing in the eyes of God.”
- King James Version “[KJV] 1 Timothy 5:4 — But if any widow have children or nephews, let them learn first to shew piety at home, and to requite their parents: for that is good and acceptable before God.”
- Genesis (Baptist/Reformed) “John Gill on Genesis 33:2: And he put the handmaids and their children foremost,.... In the first division, as being less honourable and less beloved by him: and Leah and her children after; still according to the degree of honour and affection due unto them; Leah being a wife that was imposed and forced upon him: and Rachel and Joseph hindermost; being most beloved by him, and therefore most careful of them; Rachel being his principal and lawful wife, and who had the greatest share in his affection, and Joseph his only child by her.”
- CCEL (Reformed (Old Princeton)) “Charles Hodge, Systematic Theology, Vol. 3, section 49: to its full development in the present state of existence; that there are capacities, feelings, and virtues which are not otherwise or elsewhere called into exercise. All this may be true, but it is not the whole truth. (4.) There is, in a certain sense, a community of life between husband and wife. We are accustomed to say, and to say truly, that the life of parents is communicated to their children. Each nation and every historical family has a form of life by which it is distinguished. As, therefore, the 385 life of a father and the li”
- Ephesians (Presbyterian) “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown on Ephesians 5:22: (Eph 6:9.) The Church's relation to Christ in His everlasting purpose, is the foundation and archetype of the three greatest of earthly relations, that of husband and wife (Eph 5:22-33), parent and child (Eph 6:1-4), master and servant (Eph 6:4-9). The oldest manuscripts omit "submit yourselves"; supplying it from Eph 5:21, "Ye wives (submitting yourselves) unto your own husbands." "Your own" is an argument for submissiveness on the part of the wives; it is not a stranger, but your own husbands whom you are called on to submit unto (compare Gen 3:16”
- Schaff ANF/NPNF (Patristic) “NPNF1 Vol 6: Augustine — Homilies on the Gospels — OF THE AGREEMENT OF THE EVANGELISTS MATTHEW AND LUKE IN THE GENERATIONS OF THE LORD. (part 24): will give you children without your having any intercourse with your wife;" he would assuredly be driven to confess that it was not for the sake of children that he was seeking for a wife. Let him then acknowledge his infirmity, and so receive that which he pretended to receive only as matter of duty. 25. It was thus those holy men of former times, those men of God sought and wished for children. For this one end--the procreation of children, was th”