Christian Dating and Courtship Biblical Guidelines
Biblical guidelines for dating and courtship are not explicitly detailed in a single passage, as the modern concepts of "dating" and "courtship" differ from ancient marital practices [2]. Instead, Christian approaches to these relationships are derived from broader biblical principles concerning holiness, love, conduct, and marriage [1, 3, 6].
A foundational principle is the call to holiness, which is commanded throughout Scripture [3]. Believers are to live soberly, righteously, and godly, reflecting the character of God and Christ [1, 3]. This pursuit of holiness extends to all areas of life, including relationships, as it is necessary for worship and for seeing God [3]. The gospel itself is described as the way of holiness [3].
Love is another central theme. Christians are instructed to love God with all their being and to love Christ [1]. This love is also to be extended to fellow believers, with instructions to "keep on loving each other as brothers and sisters" and to show sincere love [6, 7]. This Christian love is characterized by a willingness to prioritize the good of others over one's own desires [8]. In the context of marriage, husbands are specifically commanded to love their wives sacrificially, just as Christ loved the church [10]. Wives are called to submit to and respect their husbands [5]. These marital roles are presented as a reflection of the union between Christ and the church [5].
Christian conduct in all matters, including relationships, should be guided by two primary principles: glorifying God and avoiding offense to others [4]. This means that believers should consider how their actions might impact another person's faith and prioritize what is best for others rather than personal privilege [4]. This principle is particularly relevant in situations where individual freedoms might conflict with the spiritual well-being of others [4].
The Bible also emphasizes the importance of marriage as a covenant made in God's name [9]. The imagery of a "guide of her youth" in Proverbs 2:17 refers to a lawful husband, highlighting the sacred nature of the marital bond [9]. The warmth and sympathy derived from social ties, particularly within marriage, are seen as a reflection of Christian fellowship [11].
Sources
- Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Conduct, Christian — Believing God -- Mr 11:22; Joh 14:11,12. Fearing God -- Ec 12:13; 1Pe 2:17. Loving God -- De 6:5; Mt 22:37. Following God -- Eph 5:1; 1Pe 1:15,16. Obeying God -- Lu 1:6; 1Jo 5:3. Rejoicing in God -- Ps 33:1; Hab 3:18. Believing in Christ -- Joh 6:29; 1Jo 3:23. Loving Christ -- Joh 21:15; 1Pe 1:7,8. Following the example of Christ -- Joh 13:15; 1Pe 2:21-24. Obeying Christ -- Joh 14:21; 15:14. Living To Christ. -- Ro 14:8; 2Co 5:15. To righteousness. -- Mic 6:8; Ro 6:18; 1Pe 2:24. Soberly, righteously, and godly. -- Tit 2:12. Walking Honestly. -- 1”
- Smith's Bible Dictionary “Smith's Bible Dictionary: Affinity — [[77]Marriage]”
- Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Holiness — Commanded -- Le 11:45; 20:7; Eph 5:8; Col 3:12; Ro 12:1. Christ Desires for his people. -- Joh 17:17. Effects, in his people. -- Eph 5:25-27. An example of. -- Heb 7:26; 1Pe 2:21,22. The character of God, the standard of -- Le 19:2; 1Pe 1:15,16; Eph 5:1. The character of Christ, the standard of -- Ro 8:29; 1Jo 2:6; Php 2:5. The gospel the way of -- Isa 35:8. Necessary to God's worship -- Ps 24:3,4. None shall see God without -- Eph 5:5; Heb 12:14. Saints Elected to. -- Ro 8:29; Eph 1:4. Called to. -- 1Th 4:7; 2Ti 1:9. New created in. -- Eph 4:24. Possess. ”
- 1 Corinthians (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on 1 Corinthians 10:31: 10:31-33 Paul concludes his discussion by summarizing the two principles that are to guide Christian behavior in issues like this: (1) Believers are to do everything for the glory of God (see Col 3:17; 1 Pet 4:11); (2) believers are not to give offense and should avoid doing anything that would harm another person’s Christian faith (cp. 1 Cor 8:9, 13; 1 Jn 2:10). Christians’ behavior is to be guided by what is best for others rather than by personal privilege (cp. Rom 14:13-15, 19-21; 15:1-2). These two basic principles lie at the heart of Paul’s advice on”
- Ephesians (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Ephesians 5:22: 5:22-33 Christian wives are to submit to their husbands, showing them respect. Equally important, Christian husbands are to love their wives (see Col 3:18-19). Christian marriages become a reflection of the union and relationship between the Lord and the church. 5:22 Submission is part of the life to which the wives’ Christian commitment calls them (see 1 Cor 11:3-10; 14:34-35; Col 3:18; 1 Tim 2:11-12; Titus 2:5; 1 Pet 3:1-6).”
- Hebrews (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Hebrews 13:1: 13:1-6 This series of practical guidelines is similar to other ethics lists in the New Testament. It describes how to love others in the community of faith, a strong ethical foundation for all of life. 13:1 Keep on loving each other as brothers and sisters: Literally Continue in brotherly love. This instruction applies to everyone in the Christian community (see study notes on 2:11; 3:1).”
- 1 Peter (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on 1 Peter 1:22: 1:22–2:3 Following his call for holiness (1:13-21), Peter specifies how believers must live in a loving way with fellow Christians. 1:22 must show sincere love to each other as brothers and sisters: Literally must have brotherly love. See study note on 5:9.”
- 1 Corinthians (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on 1 Corinthians 13:4: 13:4-7 This description of Christian love emphasizes the willingness to give up one’s own desires for the good of others (see also 8:1–10:33; Rom 5:6-8; 15:3; 2 Cor 8:9; Phil 2:4-8).”
- Proverbs (Presbyterian) “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown on Proverbs 2:17: guide . . . youth--lawful husband (Jer 3:4). covenant . . . God--of marriage made in God's name.”
- Ephesians (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Ephesians 5:25: 5:25-33 Christian husbands are to love their wives just as Christ loved the church—that is, sacrificially, for Christ gave up his life for her (5:2; cp. Col 3:19; 1 Pet 3:7).”
- Ecclesiastes (Presbyterian) “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown on Ecclesiastes 4:11: (See on Kg1 1:1). The image is taken from man and wife, but applies universally to the warm sympathy derived from social ties. So Christian ties (Luk 24:32; Act 28:15).”