Christian Marriage After Loss and Remarriage Considerations
Christian teaching on marriage after loss and remarriage considers both the permanence of the marriage covenant and the practical realities of life and ministry. The New Testament provides guidance on these matters, particularly in the letters of Paul.
The apostle Paul addresses the topic of remarriage for widows in 1 Corinthians 7 and 1 Timothy 5. In 1 Corinthians 7:8, Paul advises unmarried individuals and widows that "it is good for them if they abide" unmarried, suggesting that remaining single can be a commendable choice [7]. However, he immediately qualifies this by stating that if they "cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion" (1 Corinthians 7:9). This indicates that while singleness is presented as a viable option, remarriage is permissible and, in some cases, advisable [7]. Matthew Henry notes that the marriage contract is for life, and "death only can annul the bond," but once a spouse has died, the surviving partner "is at liberty to marry whom she will" [8]. Adam Clarke concurs, stating that if a husband dies, the wife "is free to remarry, but only in the Lord," meaning she should marry a Christian [9].
In 1 Timothy 5, Paul gives specific instructions regarding younger widows. He advises against enrolling younger widows in the church's support system, suggesting instead that they "marry, bear children, manage their households, and give the adversary no occasion for slander" (1 Timothy 5:14) [4, 11]. The Jamieson, Fausset & Brown commentary interprets this as a recommendation for remarriage as an "antidote to sexual passion, idleness, and t[emptation]" [4]. Paul's concern was that younger widows, if not remarried, might be led astray by false teachers or develop desires contrary to their initial commitment to Christ and the church [1, 5, 6]. Tyndale House suggests that the "first faith" mentioned in 1 Timothy 5:12, which some younger widows "cast off," could refer to their Christian faith, which might be compromised by entering a pagan marriage [6]. Therefore, Paul encourages them to remarry, specifically to believers, to maintain their testimony and avoid giving occasion for reproach [11].
The Old Testament also touches on the dissolution of marriage, primarily through the Mosaic law concerning divorce. Deuteronomy 24:1 permits divorce, and Torrey's Topical Textbook notes that women could also obtain divorces and remarry [2]. However, it also states that a woman who remarried after divorce could not return to her first husband (Deuteronomy 24:3-4) [2]. Jeremiah 3:1 echoes this, describing a woman who has been put away and married another man as "polluted, and defiled" if she were to return to her first husband [3]. Jesus, in Matthew 19:6, emphasizes the permanence of marriage, stating that "what therefore God has joined together, let not man separate," and attributes the Mosaic permission for divorce to the "hardness of heart" (Matthew 19:8) [2].
While the New Testament generally upholds the lifelong nature of marriage, it recognizes death as a clear boundary that releases a spouse from the marital bond, allowing for remarriage [8, 9]. In cases of desertion by an unbelieving spouse, Paul states that "a brother or a sister is not under bondage" (1 Corinthians 7:15), which some interpretations suggest allows for remarriage in such circumstances, though Adam Clarke notes that the legal and ecclesiastical understanding of this has evolved [10]. The overarching principle is that while marriage is a sacred covenant, the death of a spouse frees the survivor to enter into a new marital union, ideally with another believer, for the sake of companionship, family, and spiritual well-being [9, 11].
Sources
- I Timothy “I Timothy 5:11 (BBE) — But to the younger widows say No: for when their love is turned away from Christ, they have a desire to be married;”
- Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Divorce — Law of marriage against -- Ge 2:24; Mt 19:6. Permitted By the Mosaic law. -- De 24:1. On account of hardness of heart. -- Mt 19:8. Often sought by the Jews -- Mic 2:9; Mal 2:14. Sought on slight grounds -- Mt 5:31; 19:3. Not allowed to those who falsely accused their wives -- De 22:18,19. Women Could obtain. -- Pr 2:17; Mr 10:12. Could marry after. -- De 24:2. Responsible for vows after. -- Nu 30:9. Married after, could not return to first husband. -- De 24:3,4; Jer 3:1. Afflicted by. -- Isa 54:4,6. Priests not to marry women after -- Le 21:14. Of servants,”
- Jeremiah “Jeremiah 3:1 (DRC) — It is commonly said: If a man put away his wife, and she go from him, and marry another man, shall he return to her any more? shall not that woman be polluted, and defiled? but thou hast prostituted thyself to many lovers: nevertheless return to me, saith the Lord, and I will receive thee.”
- 1 Timothy (Presbyterian) “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown on 1 Timothy 5:14: younger women--rather, as ellipsis ought to be supplied, "the younger widows," namely younger widows in general, as distinguished from the older widows taken on the roll of presbyteresses (Ti1 5:9). The "therefore" means seeing that young widows are exposed to such temptations, "I will," or "desire," &c. (Ti1 5:11-13). The precept here that they should marry again is not inconsistent with Co1 7:40; for the circumstances of the two cases were distinct (compare Co1 7:26). Here remarriage is recommended as an antidote to sexual passion, idleness, and t”
- 1 Timothy (Presbyterian) “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown on 1 Timothy 5:12: Having--Bringing on themselves, and so having to bear as a burden (Gal 5:10) judgment from God (compare Ti1 3:6), weighing like a load on them. cast off their first faith--namely, pledged to Christ and the service of the Church. There could be no hardship at the age of sixty or upwards in not marrying again (end of Ti1 5:9), for the sake of serving better the cause of Christ as presbyteresses; though, to ordinary widows, no barrier existed against remarriage (Co1 7:39). This is altogether distinct from Rome's unnatural vows of celibacy in the case”
- 1 Timothy (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on 1 Timothy 5:11: 5:11-15 Young widows still in their childbearing years required a different approach. Paul was concerned that the false teachers were leading them astray. 5:11-12 If Paul was concerned about remarriage to unbelievers (cp. 5:14), their previous pledge would refer to their Christian faith, which they would surrender upon entering a pagan marriage; such a marriage would probably have alienated them from Christ. It is also possible that Paul and the church recognized a special category of “sacred widowhood” (see 5:5; cp. Acts 9:36-37), entered by a vow that Paul re”
- 1 Corinthians (Baptist/Reformed) “John Gill on 1 Corinthians 7:8: I say therefore to the unmarried and widows,.... Not by way of command, but advice: by the "unmarried" he means, either such men who never were in a married state, or else such who had been married, but their wives were dead; which latter sense seems more agreeable, since they are joined with "widows", who had lost their husbands: it is good for them if they abide; unmarried, and do not change their condition any more; not that it was sinful to marry again, for he allows of it in the next verse, in case they have not the gift of continence; and therefore "good”
- 1 Corinthians (Nonconformist/Puritan) “Matthew Henry on 1 Corinthians 7:39: The whole is here closed up with advice to widows: As long as the husband liveth the wife is bound by the law, confined to one husband, and bound to continue and cohabit with him. Note, The marriage - contract is for life; death only can annul the bond. But, the husband being dead, she is at liberty to marry whom she will. There is no limitation by God's law to be married only for such a number of times. It is certain, from this passage, that second marriages are not unlawful; for then the widow could not be at liberty to marry whom she pleased, nor to marr”
- 1 Corinthians (Methodist/Wesleyan) “Adam Clarke on 1 Corinthians 7:39: The wife is bound by the law - This seems to be spoken in answer to some other question of the Corinthians to this effect: "May a woman remarry whose husband is dead, or who has abandoned her?" To which he replies, in general, That as long as her husband is living the law binds her to him alone; but, if the husband die, she is free to remarry, but only in the Lord; that is she must not marry a heathen nor an irreligious man; and she should not only marry a genuine Christian, but one of her own religious sentiments; for, in reference to domestic peace, much de”
- 1 Corinthians (Methodist/Wesleyan) “Adam Clarke on 1 Corinthians 7:15: But if the unbelieving, depart - Whether husband or wife: if such obstinately depart and utterly refuse all cohabitation, a brother or a sister - a Christian man or woman, is not under bondage to any particular laws, so as to be prevented from remarrying. Such, probably, the law stood then; but it is not so now; for the marriage can only be dissolved by death, or by the ecclesiastical court. Even fornication or adultery does not dissolve the marriage contract; nor will the obstinate separation of any of the parties, however long continued, give the party aban”
- 1 Timothy (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on 1 Timothy 5:14: 5:14 Paul is advising younger widows to remarry—and to marry believers (5:11-12; cp. 2:15). • not . . . say anything against them: Their actions were hurting their testimony for the Good News (see 1 Thes 4:11-12; Titus 2:8).”