Communication and Oneness in Marriage According to Scripture
Marriage, as presented in Scripture, is a divinely instituted covenant relationship characterized by a profound sense of oneness and requiring specific forms of communication between spouses [2, 3]. Its origins trace back to the creation account in Genesis 2:18-24, where God establishes marriage when humanity was in a state of innocence [3, 6]. This foundational text, confirmed by Jesus in Matthew 19:4-5, sets the basis for all subsequent regulations concerning marriage [3].
The concept of "oneness" in marriage is central to its biblical understanding. Genesis 2:24 states that "a man leaves his father and his mother and clings to his wife, and they become one flesh." This verse is understood to imply several principles: the unity of man and wife, the indissolubility of the marriage bond (except on the strongest grounds), and monogamy as the original design [6]. The phrase "one flesh" signifies a deep, exclusive, and inseparable relationship between a man and a woman [11]. This unity is not merely physical but encompasses a comprehensive joining together, a shift of primary loyalty from parents to spouse [11]. The institution of marriage itself is described as the most fundamental covenant relationship observed among humans [11].
While monogamy was the original law of marriage, as indicated in Genesis 2:24 and affirmed by Jesus in Matthew 19:5 and Paul in 1 Corinthians 6:16, this ideal was often violated in later times [3, 6]. Polygamy and concubinage became prevalent in the patriarchal age, and even the Mosaic Law regulated rather than prohibited polygamy [1, 3]. However, the New Testament consistently upholds the original monogamous standard [3, 5].
Beyond the foundational concept of oneness, Scripture provides guidance on the communication and relational dynamics within marriage. Husbands are instructed to "live with their wives according to knowledge, giving honor to the woman, as to the weaker vessel, as being also joint heirs of the grace of life; that your prayers may not be hindered" (1 Peter 3:7) [4]. This verse highlights the importance of respectful and understanding communication from husbands, recognizing their wives as co-heirs of God's grace [4, 5]. The apostle Peter emphasizes that husbands should respect their wives [5].
The apostle Paul further elaborates on marital duties in Ephesians 5:21-33, where he calls for mutual submission within the context of a Christian home [13]. While wives are called to submit to their husbands "as to the Lord," husbands are commanded to love their wives "just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her" (Ephesians 5:25) [5]. This love is sacrificial, nurturing, and cherishing, mirroring Christ's relationship with the church [5]. The husband's love for his wife is to be so profound that he regards her as himself, reflecting the "one flesh" union [5]. This passage in Ephesians is often understood as portraying marriage as a symbol of the covenant relationship between Christ and the Church [8, 9, 10, 11]. The propagation of the Church from Christ, similar to Eve's formation from Adam, forms the basis of this spiritual marriage [10].
The communication within marriage is not merely about avoiding conflict but about fostering a deep, abiding love and faithfulness. Husbands are to be faithful to their wives and to dwell with them for life [5]. They are also encouraged to comfort and consult with their wives [5]. The duties of husbands are not to interfere with their duties to Christ, indicating that spiritual priorities should inform marital interactions [5].
Wives also have specific duties outlined in Scripture. They are to manage the household and bear children, as encouraged in 1 Timothy 5:14 [1, 7]. Proverbs 31:10-31 describes the virtuous wife, highlighting her diligence, wisdom, and care for her household [1]. The introduction to 1 Peter 3, which addresses the duties of husbands and wives, begins with the wife's responsibilities [12].
The covenantal nature of marriage means it is designed for several purposes: the happiness of humanity, the increase of the human population, the raising of godly offspring, and the prevention of sexual immorality [2]. The expectation of the "promised seed of the woman" (Genesis 3:15) served as an incentive for marriage in early ages [2]. Marriage is considered honorable for all and lawful for all, but it should be undertaken "only in the Lord" (1 Corinthians 7:39) [2].
The concept of "oneness" extends to a shared spiritual life. The instruction for husbands to live with their wives in an honorable way, "that your prayers may not be hindered" (1 Peter 3:7), suggests that disharmony or disrespect in the marital relationship can impede a couple's spiritual communion with God [4]. This implies that effective communication and mutual respect are not just social niceties but are integral to the spiritual well-being of the couple.
The biblical understanding of marriage, therefore, emphasizes a profound unity rooted in creation, a covenant relationship that mirrors God's relationship with His people, and a call for specific forms of communication characterized by love, respect, faithfulness, and mutual consideration, all aimed at fostering a harmonious and God-honoring partnership [8, 9, 11].
Sources
- Easton's Bible Dictionary “Easton's Bible Dictionary: Wife — The ordinance of marriage was sanctioned in Paradise (Gen. 2:24; Matt. 19:4-6). Monogamy was the original law under which man lived, but polygamy early commenced (Gen. 4:19), and continued to prevail all down through Jewish history. The law of Moses regulated but did not prohibit polygamy. A man might have a plurality of wives, but a wife could have only one husband. A wife's legal rights (Ex. 21:10) and her duties (Prov. 31:10-31; 1 Tim. 5:14) are specified. She could be divorced in special cases (Deut. 22:13-21), but could not divorce her husband. Divorce wa”
- Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Marriage — Divinely instituted -- Ge 2:24. A covenant relationship -- Mal 2:4. Designed for The happiness of man. -- Ge 2:18. Increasing the human population. -- Ge 1:28; 9:1. Raising up godly seed. -- Mal 2:15. Preventing fornication. -- 1Co 7:2. The expectation of the promised seed of the woman an incentive to, in the early age -- Ge 3:15; 4:1. Lawful in all -- 1Co 7:2,28; 1Ti 5:14. Honourable for all -- Heb 13:4. Should be only in the Lord -- 1Co 7:39. Expressed by Joining together. -- Mt 19:6. Making affinity. -- 1Ki 3:1. Taking to wife. -- Ex 2:1. Giving daughte”
- Easton's Bible Dictionary “Easton's Bible Dictionary: Marriage — Was instituted in Paradise when man was in innocence (Gen. 2:18-24). Here we have its original charter, which was confirmed by our Lord, as the basis on which all regulations are to be framed (Matt. 19:4, 5). It is evident that monogamy was the original law of marriage (Matt. 19:5; 1 Cor. 6:16). This law was violated in after times, when corrupt usages began to be introduced (Gen. 4:19; 6:2). We meet with the prevalence of polygamy and concubinage in the patriarchal age (Gen. 16:1-4; 22:21-24; 28:8, 9; 29:23-30, etc.). Polygamy was acknowledged in the Mosa”
- 1 Peter “You husbands, in the same way, live with your wives according to knowledge, giving honor to the woman, as to the weaker vessel, as being also joint heirs of the grace of life; that your prayers may not be hindered. -- 1 Peter 3:7”
- Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Husbands — Should have but one wife -- Ge 2:24; Mr 10:6-8; 1Co 7:2-4. Have authority over their wives -- Ge 3:16; 1Co 11:3; Eph 5:23. Duty of, to wives To respect them. -- 1Pe 3:7. To love them. -- Eph 5:25-33; Col 3:19. To regard them as themselves. -- Ge 2:23; Mt 19:5. To be faithful to them. -- Pr 5:19; Mal 2:14,15. To dwell with them for life. -- Ge 2:24; Mt 19:3-9. To comfort them. -- 1Sa 1:8. To consult with them. -- Ge 31:4-7. Not to leave them, though unbelieving. -- 1Co 7:11,12,14,16. Duties of, not to interfere with their duties to Christ -- Lu 14:26; Mt 19”
- Smith's Bible Dictionary “Smith's Bible Dictionary: Marriage — + Its origin and history .--The institution of marriage dates from the time of man's original creation. (Genesis 2:18-25) From (Genesis 2:24) we may evolve the following principles: (1) The unity of man and wife, as implied in her being formed out of man. (2) The indissolubleness of the marriage bond, except on; the strongest grounds, Comp. (Matthew 19:9) (3) Monogamy, as the original law of marriage (4) The social equality of man and wife. (5) The subordination of the wife to the husband. (1 Corinthians 11:8,9; 1 Timothy 2:13) (6) The respective duties of ”
- 1 Timothy “I desire therefore that the younger widows marry, bear children, rule the household, and give no occasion to the adversary for insulting. -- 1 Timothy 5:14”
- Ezek (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Ezek 23:4: 23:4 Marriage is commonly used in the Bible as a symbol for the covenant relationship between God and his people (e.g., Isa 54:1-8; Eph 5:22-33). Adultery symbolizes Israel’s spiritual unfaithfulness (e.g., Hos 1–3). God makes his covenants in spite of, not because of, his people’s character (Rom 5:6-11).”
- Ezekiel (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Ezekiel 23:4: 23:4 Marriage is commonly used in the Bible as a symbol for the covenant relationship between God and his people (e.g., Isa 54:1-8; Eph 5:22-33). Adultery symbolizes Israel’s spiritual unfaithfulness (e.g., Hos 1–3). God makes his covenants in spite of, not because of, his people’s character (Rom 5:6-11).”
- Ephesians (Presbyterian) “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown on Ephesians 5:31: For--The propagation of the Church from Christ, as that of Eve from Adam, is the foundation of the spiritual marriage. The natural marriage, wherein "a man leaves father and mother (the oldest manuscripts omit 'his') and is joined unto his wife," is not the principal thing meant here, but the spiritual marriage represented by it, and on which it rests, whereby Christ left the Father's bosom to woo to Himself the Church out of a lost world: Eph 5:32 proves this: His earthly mother as such, also, He holds in secondary account as compared with His spir”
- Genesis (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Genesis 2:24: 2:24 Marriage between a man and a woman is not just a human social construct but is rooted in the created order. • a man leaves . . . and is joined: Marriage entails a shift of loyalty from parents to spouse. • the two are united into one: Marriage and its commitments make it the most fundamental covenant relationship observed among humans. Marriage is a powerful image of Israel’s covenant with God (Hos 2:14-23) and of Christ’s relationship to the church (Eph 5:22-32). Marriage is designed as an inseparable, exclusive relationship between a man and a woman. The f”
- 1 Peter (Nonconformist/Puritan) “Matthew Henry on 1 Peter 3 (introduction): Wherein the apostle describes the duties of husbands and wives one to another, beginning with the duty of the wife (Pe1 3:1-7). He exhorts Christians to unity, love, compassion, peace, and patience under sufferings; to oppose the slanders of their enemies, not by returning evil for evil, or railing for railing, but by blessing; by a ready account of their faith and hope, and by keeping a good conscience (Pe1 3:8-17). To encourage them to this, he proposes the example of Christ, who suffered, the just for the unjust, but yet punished the old world for ”
- Ephesians (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Ephesians 5:21: 5:21–6:9 Paul gives specific instructions on how believers are to relate to one another in a Christian home (see also Col 3:18–4:1; 1 Pet 2:18–3:7). Love and respect are to characterize all relationships in the body of Christ as an expression of believers’ commitment to the Lord himself. 5:21 And further, submit to one another: The verb form links it with the command to be filled (5:18). This general instruction (cp. Phil 2:3) applies to all three relationships that Paul discusses: wives and husbands (Eph 5:22-33), children and their parents (6:1-4), and slaves”