Compromising Truth to Avoid Conflict in Christian Relationships
Christians are called to live peaceably with all people, "as much as lieth in you" [13]. This pursuit of peace, however, does not negate the importance of truth, as the Bible frequently emphasizes the necessity of upholding and speaking truth [4].
The concept of truth in Christian thought is foundational. It is linked to God's nature and character, as well as to the person of Christ [6]. Believers are those who "know the truth" [3] and are admonished to "speak the truth" [4]. The Apostle Paul, for instance, states that he would speak the truth even if it meant refraining from boasting [4]. The Christian life is characterized by "walking honestly" and living "to righteousness" [5].
While peace is a desirable outcome, compromising truth to avoid conflict is generally not supported in Christian teaching. The Bible warns against strife, identifying it as a "work of the flesh" and an "evidence of a carnal spirit" [8]. However, avoiding conflict at all costs can lead to a neglect of truth. For example, Paul notes that some preach Christ "of contention, not sincerely" [1]. This suggests that even when the message is true, the motivation and manner of delivery can be problematic. Yet, the existence of contention does not automatically invalidate the truth being proclaimed.
The pursuit of peace is often framed within the context of reconciliation, which involves a change from enmity to friendship [7]. This reconciliation is not merely superficial but involves a change in character, where individuals cease to be enemies of God and yield to Him in "full confidence and love" [7]. This implies that true peace is rooted in a right relationship with God, which is built upon truth.
The Bible also addresses situations where truth must be upheld even in the face of resistance. For instance, believers are instructed to admonish "them that resist the truth" with modesty, hoping that "God may give them repentance to know the truth" [2]. This suggests that confronting untruth, when done with appropriate humility and a desire for the other's repentance, is a necessary aspect of Christian conduct.
The tension between truth and peace is further illuminated by the understanding of sin. All human beings are born sinners [9], and sin is characterized by "vanity" and "all sorts of sinful acts" [10]. Deliberate sins are committed with an "insolent or arrogant attitude" and are seen as rebellion [11]. To deny one's sin is to "make him a liar" [12]. In this context, true peace cannot be achieved by ignoring or compromising on the reality of sin or the truth of God's standards.
Sources
- King James Version “[KJV] Philippians 1:16 — The one preach Christ of contention, not sincerely, supposing to add affliction to my bonds:”
- II Timothy “II Timothy 2:25 (DRC) — With modesty admonishing them that resist the truth: if peradventure God may give them repentance to know the truth;”
- 1 Timothy “forbidding marriage and commanding to abstain from foods which God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and know the truth. -- 1 Timothy 4:3”
- 2 Corinthians “For if I would desire to boast, I will not be foolish; for I will speak the truth. But I refrain, so that no man may think more of me than that which he sees in me, or hears from me. -- 2 Corinthians 12:6”
- Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Conduct, Christian — Believing God -- Mr 11:22; Joh 14:11,12. Fearing God -- Ec 12:13; 1Pe 2:17. Loving God -- De 6:5; Mt 22:37. Following God -- Eph 5:1; 1Pe 1:15,16. Obeying God -- Lu 1:6; 1Jo 5:3. Rejoicing in God -- Ps 33:1; Hab 3:18. Believing in Christ -- Joh 6:29; 1Jo 3:23. Loving Christ -- Joh 21:15; 1Pe 1:7,8. Following the example of Christ -- Joh 13:15; 1Pe 2:21-24. Obeying Christ -- Joh 14:21; 15:14. Living To Christ. -- Ro 14:8; 2Co 5:15. To righteousness. -- Mic 6:8; Ro 6:18; 1Pe 2:24. Soberly, righteously, and godly. -- Tit 2:12. Walking Honestly. -- 1”
- Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Covenant, The — Christ, the substance of -- Isa 42:6; 49:8. Christ, the Mediator of -- Heb 8:6; 9:15; 12:24. Christ, the Messenger of -- Mal 3:1. Made with Abraham. -- Ge 15:7-18; 17:2-14; Lu 1:72-75; Ac 3:25; Ga 3:16. Isaac. -- Ge 17:19,21; 26:3,4. Jacob. -- Ge 28:13,14; 1Ch 16:16,17. Israel. -- Ex 6:4; Ac 3:25. David. -- 2Sa 23:5; Ps 89:3,4. Renewed under the gospel -- Jer 31:31-33; Ro 11:27; Heb 8:8-10,13. Fulfilled in Christ -- Lu 1:68-79. Confirmed in Christ -- Ga 3:17. Ratified by the blood of Christ -- Heb 9:11-14,16-23. Is a covenant of peace -- Isa 54:9,10; ”
- Easton's Bible Dictionary “Easton's Bible Dictionary: Reconcilation — A change from enmity to friendship. It is mutual, i.e., it is a change wrought in both parties who have been at enmity. (1.) In Col. 1:21, 22, the word there used refers to a change wrought in the personal character of the sinner who ceases to be an enemy to God by wicked works, and yields up to him his full confidence and love. In 2 Cor. 5:20 the apostle beseeches the Corinthians to be "reconciled to God", i.e., to lay aside their enmity. (2.) Rom. 5:10 refers not to any change in our disposition toward God, but to God himself, as the party reconcile”
- Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Strife — Christ, an example of avoiding -- Isa 42:2; Mt 12:15-19; Lu 9:52-56; 1Pe 2:23. Forbidden -- Pr 3:30; 25:8. A work of the flesh -- Ga 5:20. An evidence of a carnal spirit -- 1Co 3:3. Existed in the church -- 1Co 1:11. Excited by Hatred. -- Pr 10:12. Pride. -- Pr 13:10; 28:25. Wrath. -- Pr 15:18; 30:33. Frowardness. -- Pr 16:28. A contentious disposition. -- Pr 26:21. Tale-bearing. -- Pr 26:20. Drunkenness. -- Pr 23:29,30. Lusts. -- Jas 4:1. Curious questions. -- 1Ti 6:4; 2Ti 2:23. Scorning. -- Pr 22:10. Difficulty of stopping, a reason for avoiding it -- Pr 1”
- Psalms (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Psalms 58:3: 58:3 All human beings are born sinners (see 51:5); however, whereas the wicked indulge their sinful nature, the godly fight against it (Rom 7:19-23; Jas 4:1-10).”
- Proverbs (Presbyterian) “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown on Proverbs 30:8: vanity--all sorts of sinful acts (Job 11:11; Isa 5:18).”
- Psalms (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Psalms 19:13: 19:13 An individual who commits deliberate sins does so with an insolent (86:14) or arrogant (119:21, 69) attitude. • The great sin is rebellion (see 32:1).”
- 1 John (Presbyterian) “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown on 1 John 1:10: Parallel to Jo1 1:8. we have not sinned--referring to the commission of actual sins, even after regeneration and conversion; whereas in Jo1 1:8, "we have no sin," refers to the present GUILT remaining (until cleansed) from the actual sins committed, and to the SIN of our corrupt old nature still adhering to us. The perfect "have . . . sinned" brings down the commission of sins to the present time, not merely sins committed before, but since, conversion. we make him a liar--a gradation; Jo1 1:6, "we lie"; Jo1 1:8, "we deceive ourselves"; worst of al”
- Romans (Baptist/Reformed) “John Gill on Romans 12:18: If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably,.... Or be at peace, seek after peace, pursue it, and cultivate it: with all men; with those that we are immediately concerned with, in a natural relation; so husbands should live peaceably with their wives, and wives with their husbands; parents with their children, and children with their parents; masters with their servants, and servants with their masters; and one brother, relation, and friend, with another: and so with all we are concerned with in a spiritual relation, as members of Christ, and in the ”