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Coping with Disappointment and Anger in Christian Life

Disappointment and anger are common human experiences that Christians navigate through the lens of faith, understanding them in relation to God's will, human sinfulness, and the hope of redemption. The Bible acknowledges these emotions, providing guidance on how to cope with them in a manner consistent with Christian living.

Disappointment, often linked to despair, can arise from various circumstances. The Psalms express feelings of being "rejected and spurned" by God [6] or facing those who "rejoice at my calamity" [1]. While despair can lead the wicked to continue in sin, blasphemy, or even suicide, saints are sometimes tempted by it but are also enabled to overcome it through trust in God [7]. The apostle Paul, for instance, found contentment in weaknesses, insults, distresses, persecutions, and difficulties, recognizing that "when I am weak, then I am strong" [4]. This perspective suggests that suffering and disappointment, when experienced by Christians, are not causes for shame but opportunities to glorify God [3, 5]. Matthew Henry notes that even amidst great affliction, a "sound Christian has always something wherein he may greatly rejoice," viewing present sorrows as temporary and purposeful [11]. Suffering for faith is often an expected part of a Christian's life [14]. God is depicted as a refuge and strength for the afflicted, providing comfort and deliverance [9].

Anger is presented in Scripture as an emotion that is not inherently sinful but can become so if it is "causeless, or excessive, or protracted" [2]. The Bible distinguishes between righteous anger, such as God's displeasure with sin [2, 8], and unrighteous human anger. Matthew Henry, commenting on Colossians 3:8, states that "inordinate passions" like anger and wrath are contrary to the gospel's design, emphasizing that Christian faith should lead to a change in both the "higher as well as the lower powers of the soul" [13]. John Chrysostom further elaborates on this, suggesting that true victory over anger is not retaliation but "bearing meekly to be ill treated and ill spoken of" [16]. one tradition argues that to overcome anger is to suffer evil rather than inflict it [16].

God's anger is described as righteous and manifested in judgments, yet it is also slow and can be averted through Christ, confession of sin, and repentance [8]. John Gill, in his commentary on Psalm 30:5, explains that God's anger "endureth but a moment" and is not directed towards His people in reality, but rather is an apprehension on their part when they experience His chiding, chastisement, or affliction [10]. This perspective suggests that while God may appear angry, His underlying love for His people remains constant [10].

Coping with these emotions involves a spiritual discipline. For disappointment and despair, the emphasis is on trusting God, recognizing His presence in affliction, and finding joy even in suffering [7, 9, 11]. For anger, the call is to "put off all these" inordinate passions [13], to mourn and weep over sin in an evangelical way, looking to Jesus for pardoning grace [12]. The Christian life involves both doing God's will and suffering His pleasure, with directions to not be surprised by suffering but to rejoice in it [15].

Sources

  1. Psalms “Let them be disappointed and confounded together who rejoice at my calamity. Let them be clothed with shame and dishonor who magnify themselves against me. -- Psalms 35:26”
  2. Easton's Bible Dictionary “Easton's Bible Dictionary: Anger — The emotion of instant displeasure on account of something evil that presents itself to our view. In itself it is an original susceptibility of our nature, just as love is, and is not necessarily sinful. It may, however, become sinful when causeless, or excessive, or protracted (Matt. 5:22; Eph. 4:26; Col. 3:8). As ascribed to God, it merely denotes his displeasure with sin and with sinners (Ps. 7:11).”
  3. I Peter “I Peter 4:16 (LITV) — But if one suffers as a Christian, do not let him be ashamed, but to glorify God in this respect.”
  4. 2 Corinthians “2 Corinthians 12:10 (NASB) — Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ's sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.”
  5. King James Version “[KJV] 1 Peter 4:16 — Yet if any man suffer as a Christian, let him not be ashamed; but let him glorify God on this behalf.”
  6. Psalms “But you have rejected and spurned. You have been angry with your anointed. -- Psalms 89:38”
  7. Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Despair — Produced in the wicked by divine judgments -- De 28:34,67; Re 9:6; 16:10. Leads to Continuing in sin. -- Jer 2:25; 18:12. Blasphemy. -- Isa 8:21; Re 16:10,11. Shall seize upon the wicked at the appearing of Christ -- Re 6:16. Saints sometimes tempted to -- Job 7:6; La 3:18. Saints enabled to overcome -- 2Co 4:8,9. Trust in God, a preservative against -- Ps 42:5,11. Exemplified Cain. -- Ge 4:13,14. Ahithophel. -- 2Sa 17:23. Judas. -- Mt 27:5.”
  8. Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Anger of God, The — Averted by Christ -- Lu 2:11,14; Ro 5:9; 2Co 5:18,19; Eph 2:14,17; Col 1:20; 1Th 1:10. Is averted from them that believe -- Joh 3:14-18; Ro 3:25; 5:1. Is averted upon confession of sin and repentance -- Job 33:27,28; Ps 106:43-45; Jer 3:12,13; 18:7,8; 31:18-20; Joe 2:12-14; Lu 15:18-20. Is slow -- Ps 103:8; Isa 48:9; Jon 4:2; Na 1:3. Is righteous -- Ps 58:10,11; La 1:18; Ro 2:6,8; 3:5,6; Re 16:6,7. The justice of, not to be questioned -- Ro 9:18,20,22. Manifested in terrors -- Ex 14:24; Ps 76:6-8; Jer 10:10; La 2:20-22. Manifested in judgments and”
  9. Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Afflicted Saints — God is with -- Ps 46:5,7; Isa 43:2. God is a refuge and strength to -- Ps 27:5,6; Isa 25:4; Jer 16:19; Na 1:7. God comforts -- Isa 49:13; Jer 31:13; Mt 5:4; 2Co 1:4,5; 7:6. God preserves -- Ps 34:20. God delivers -- Ps 34:4,19; Pr 12:13; Jer 39:17,18. Christ is with -- Joh 14:18. Christ supports -- 2Ti 4:17; Heb 2:18. Christ comforts -- Isa 61:2; Mt 11:28-30; Lu 7:13; Joh 14:1; 16:33. Christ preserves -- Isa 63:9; Lu 21:18. Christ delivers -- Re 3:10. Should praise God -- Ps 13:5,6; 56:8-10; 57:6,7; 71:20-23. Should imitate Christ -- Heb 12:1-3; 1P”
  10. Psalms (Baptist/Reformed) “John Gill on Psalms 30:5: For his anger endureth but a moment,.... Anger is not properly in God, he being a simple, uncompounded, immovable, and unchangeable being; nor is it ever towards his people in reality, unless anger is distinguished from wrath, and is considered as consistent with his everlasting and invariable love to them; but only in their apprehension, he doing those things which in some respects are similar to those which men do when they are angry; he turns away from them and hides his face, he chides, chastises, and afflicts, and then they conclude he is angry; and when he retur”
  11. 1 Peter (Nonconformist/Puritan) “Matthew Henry on 1 Peter 1:6: The first word, wherein, refers to the apostle's foregoing discourse about the excellency of their present state, and their grand expectations for the future. "In this condition you greatly rejoice, though now for a season, or a little while, if need be, you are made sorrowful through manifold temptations," Pe1 1:6. I. The apostle grants they were in great affliction, and propounds several things in mitigation of their sorrows. 1. Every sound Christian has always something wherein he may greatly rejoice. Great rejoicing contains more than an inward placid serenity”
  12. James (Baptist/Reformed) “John Gill on James 4:9: Be afflicted, and mourn, and weep,.... Not in a bare external way; not by afflicting the body with fastings and scourgings, by renting of garments, and clothing with sackcloth, and putting ashes on the head, and other such outward methods of humiliation; but afflicting the soul is meant, an inward mourning and weeping over the plague of the heart, the impurity of nature, and the various sins of life; after a godly sort, and because contrary to a God of infinite love and grace; in an evangelical way, looking to Jesus, and being affected with the pardoning grace and love ”
  13. Colossians (Nonconformist/Puritan) “Matthew Henry on Colossians 3:8: As we are to mortify inordinate appetites, so we are to mortify inordinate passions (Col 3:8): But now you also put off all these, anger wrath, malice; for these are contrary to the design of the gospel, as well as grosser impurities; and, though they are more spiritual wickedness, have not less malignity in them. The gospel religion introduces a change of the higher as well as the lower powers of the soul, and supports the dominion of right reason and conscience over appetite and passion. Anger and wrath are bad, but malice is worse, because it is more rooted ”
  14. 1 Thessalonians (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on 1 Thessalonians 3:3: 3:3 we are destined for such troubles: Suffering for the faith is often part of a Christian’s life (1:6; 2:14; Phil 1:29; 1 Pet 1:6; 2:21; 3:17; 4:19).”
  15. 1 Peter (Nonconformist/Puritan) “Matthew Henry on 1 Peter 4 (introduction): The work of a Christian is twofold - doing the will of God and suffering his pleasure. This chapter directs us in both. The duties we are here exhorted to employ ourselves in are the mortification of sin, living to God, sobriety, prayer, charity, hospitality, and the best improvement of our talents, which the apostle presses upon Christians from the consideration of the time they have lost in their sins, and the approaching end of all things (Pe1 4:1-11). The directions for sufferings are that we should not be surprised at them, but rejoice in them, o”
  16. CCEL/NPNF (Eastern Orthodox) “John Chrysostom, Homilies on John & Hebrews: none reproves us, and do not many feelings of repentance come over us, both for what we have said and done; but when we gain the mastery, then are we not proud, and exult as conquerors? For victory in the case of anger is, not the requiting evil with the like, (that is utter defeat,) but the bearing meekly to be ill treated and ill spoken of. To get the better is not to inflict but to suffer evil. Therefore when angry do not say, “certainly I will retaliate,” “certainly I will be revenged”; do not persist in saying to those who exhort you to gain a ”
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