Dating a Christian Who Drinks Occasionally vs Personal Conviction
The Bible frequently condemns drunkenness as a sin, with the first recorded instance being Noah's intoxication in Genesis 9:21 [4]. Passages such as Romans 13:13, 1 Corinthians 6:9-10, Ephesians 5:18, and 1 Thessalonians 5:7-8 explicitly speak against it [4]. However, the question of occasional alcohol consumption among Christians involves navigating personal conviction, biblical principles, and the potential impact on others.
A key biblical concept in this discussion is conscience. The conscience acts as an internal witness, accusing or excusing actions [3]. Christians are called to have a clear conscience, approved by God, and purified by the blood of Christ [3]. The Apostle Paul addresses the issue of Christian liberty and its impact on the consciences of others in Romans 14 and 1 Corinthians 8-10. Charles Hodge, in his Systematic Theology, explains that no one has the right to declare something sinful if God has not forbidden it [6]. For example, there was no inherent sin in being circumcised or eating certain meats [6]. However, Hodge also emphasizes that it is a "violation of the law of love, and therefore a sin against Christ, to make such use of our liberty as to cause others to sin" [6]. This principle suggests that while occasional drinking might not be inherently sinful for one individual, it could become problematic if it leads another believer to stumble or violate their own conscience.
The concept of "causing others to offend" is central to Paul's teaching. In Romans 14:21, he states, "It is good neither to eat flesh, nor to drink wine, nor any thing whereby thy brother stumbleth, or is offended, or is made weak" [3]. Similarly, 1 Corinthians 10:28-32 advises believers not to offend the conscience of others [3]. This means that a Christian's conduct, even in matters of personal liberty, should be guided by love and consideration for the spiritual well-being of fellow believers [5]. If one's occasional drinking causes another to struggle with their own convictions or to fall into sin, then the loving action would be to abstain for their sake.
The Bible also uses the imagery of drinking in a figurative sense, such as being "drunk with sorrow" or "with the wine of God's wrath" [4]. Job 15:16 describes a corrupt man who "drinketh in—like water—perversity" [1]. These metaphorical uses highlight the destructive nature associated with excessive consumption or absorption of negative influences. In the context of dating, a Christian's personal conviction regarding alcohol, whether it be total abstinence or occasional moderate consumption, is a matter of individual discernment. However, when two individuals are considering a relationship, their differing convictions can become a point of tension.
The principle of not offending another's conscience extends to relationships. If one person's conviction leads them to abstain from alcohol, and the other's conviction allows for occasional drinking, open communication and mutual respect are essential. The goal is to avoid actions that would cause a partner to violate their conscience or feel pressured to compromise their beliefs [3]. The Apostle Paul also speaks of those who "preach Christ of contention, not sincerely, supposing to add affliction to my bonds" (Philippians 1:16 KJV), indicating that even good actions can be done with wrong motives [2]. This underscores the importance of the heart's posture in all matters of Christian conduct.
Sources
- Job “Job 15:16 (Rotherham) — How much less when one is detested and corrupt, a man who drinketh in—like water—perversity.”
- King James Version “[KJV] Philippians 1:16 — The one preach Christ of contention, not sincerely, supposing to add affliction to my bonds:”
- Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Conscience — Witnesses in man -- Pr 20:27; Ro 2:15. Accuses of sin -- Ge 42:21; 2Sa 24:10; Mt 27:3; Ac 2:37. We should have the approval of -- Job 27:6; Ac 24:16; Ro 9:1; 14:22. The blood of Christ alone can purify -- Heb 9:14; 10:2-10,22. Keep the faith in purity of -- 1Ti 1:19; 3:9. Of saints, pure and good -- Heb 13:18; 1Pe 3:16,21. Submit to authority for -- Ro 13:5. Suffer patiently for -- 1Pe 2:19. Testimony of, a source of joy -- 2Co 1:12; 1Jo 3:21. Of others, not to be offended -- Ro 14:21; 1Co 10:28-32. Ministers should commend themselves to that of their pe”
- Easton's Bible Dictionary “Easton's Bible Dictionary: Drunk — The first case of intoxication on record is that of Noah (Gen. 9:21). The sin of drunkenness is frequently and strongly condemned (Rom. 13:13; 1 Cor. 6:9, 10; Eph. 5:18; 1 Thess. 5:7, 8). The sin of drinking to excess seems to have been not uncommon among the Israelites. The word is used figuratively, when men are spoken of as being drunk with sorrow, and with the wine of God's wrath (Isa. 63:6; Jer. 51:57; Ezek. 23:33). To "add drunkenness to thirst" (Deut. 29:19, A.V.) is a proverbial expression, rendered in the Revised Version "to destroy the moist with th”
- Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Conduct, Christian — Believing God -- Mr 11:22; Joh 14:11,12. Fearing God -- Ec 12:13; 1Pe 2:17. Loving God -- De 6:5; Mt 22:37. Following God -- Eph 5:1; 1Pe 1:15,16. Obeying God -- Lu 1:6; 1Jo 5:3. Rejoicing in God -- Ps 33:1; Hab 3:18. Believing in Christ -- Joh 6:29; 1Jo 3:23. Loving Christ -- Joh 21:15; 1Pe 1:7,8. Following the example of Christ -- Joh 13:15; 1Pe 2:21-24. Obeying Christ -- Joh 14:21; 15:14. Living To Christ. -- Ro 14:8; 2Co 5:15. To righteousness. -- Mic 6:8; Ro 6:18; 1Pe 2:24. Soberly, righteously, and godly. -- Tit 2:12. Walking Honestly. -- 1”
- CCEL (Reformed (Old Princeton)) “Charles Hodge, Systematic Theology, Vol. 3, section 39: of indifference, but in causing others to offend. The rules which the Scriptures clearly lay down on this subject are: (1.) That no man or body of men has the right to pronounce that to be sinful which God does not forbid. There was no sin in being circumcised, or in eating meat, or in keeping the sacred days of the Hebrews. (2.) That it is a violation of the law of love, and therefore a sin against Christ, to make such use of our liberty as to cause others to sin. “Take heed,” says the Apostle, “lest by any means this liberty of yours be”