Dating a Non-Christian: Biblical Guidance for Relationships
The Bible provides guidance on relationships, including those between Christians and non-Christians. One key passage is 1 Corinthians 7:12-14, where Paul addresses the issue of believers married to unbelievers. He advises that the believing partner should not divorce the unbelieving partner, as the unbelieving spouse is "sanctified" by the believing spouse [1]. This passage suggests that a Christian's relationship with a non-Christian can be a means of grace, potentially leading to the salvation of the unbelieving partner [3].
The concept of being "unequally yoked" is also relevant. The biblical principle, derived from Deuteronomy 22:10 and Leviticus 19:19, is applied by Paul in 2 Corinthians 6:14-16 to caution against close relationships between believers and unbelievers. Jamieson, Fausset & Brown interpret this as a warning against "yoked with one alien in spirit," emphasizing the spiritual incompatibility between believers and unbelievers [5]. This principle is often understood to advise against forming close relationships, including marriage, with those who do not share one's faith.
However, the Bible also encourages believers to engage with non-believers in a spirit of love and hospitality. Torrey's Topical Textbook highlights the importance of showing hospitality to strangers, enemies, and those in need, citing examples from the Old and New Testaments [2]. This suggests that while being mindful of spiritual differences, Christians are still called to interact with and show love to those around them, including non-Christians.
In the context of marriage, Paul's advice in 1 Corinthians 7:39 is that a Christian should only marry "in the Lord," implying a preference for marrying another believer [6]. However, for those already married to non-Christians, the emphasis is on maintaining the relationship and potentially using it as an opportunity for witness and evangelism [3].
The biblical guidance on dating a non-Christian is not explicitly stated, but the principles outlined above can be applied. The caution against being "unequally yoked" and the preference for marrying "in the Lord" suggest that forming a close, potentially marriage-oriented relationship with a non-Christian may not be advisable [5, 6]. Nevertheless, the call to love and engage with non-believers in a spirit of hospitality and kindness remains [2].
The Wesleyan tradition, as represented by Adam Clarke's commentary on 1 Corinthians 7:16, encourages believers to remain in relationships with non-Christian partners, viewing them as an opportunity for ministry and potential salvation [3]. This perspective underscores the complexity of applying biblical principles to individual circumstances.
Ultimately, the biblical guidance on relationships with non-Christians emphasizes the importance of balancing witness, love, and spiritual integrity. While there are cautions against close relationships that might compromise one's faith, there is also a strong emphasis on engaging with and showing love to those around us.
The Presbyterian tradition, as seen in Jamieson, Fausset & Brown's commentary, highlights the interdependence of men and women in Christian relationships, suggesting that the ideal is for believers to be united in their faith [4]. This perspective reinforces the idea that shared faith is an important consideration in forming close relationships.
Sources
- I Corinthians “I Corinthians 7:14 (BBE) — For the husband who has not faith is made holy through his Christian wife, and the wife who is not a Christian is made holy through the brother: if not, your children would be unholy, but now are they holy.”
- Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Hospitality — Commanded -- Ro 12:13; 1Pe 4:9. Required in ministers -- 1Ti 3:2; Tit 1:8. A test of Christian character -- 1Ti 5:10. Specially to be shown to Strangers. -- Heb 13:2. The poor. -- Isa 58:7; Lu 14:13. Enemies. -- 2Ki 6:22,23; Ro 12:20. Encouragement to -- Lu 14:14; Heb 13:2. Exemplified Melchizedek. -- Ge 14:18. Abraham. -- Ge 18:3-8. Lot. -- Ge 19:2,3. Laban. -- Ge 24:31. Jethro. -- Ex 2:20. Manoah. -- Jdj 13:15. Samuel. -- 1Sa 9:22. David. -- 2Sa 6:19. Barzillai. -- 2Sa 19:32. Shunammite. -- 2Ki 4:8. Nehemiah. -- Ne 5:17. Job. -- Job 31:17,32. Zacchaeu”
- 1 Corinthians (Methodist/Wesleyan) “Adam Clarke on 1 Corinthians 7:16: For what knowest thou, O wife - You that are Christians, and who have heathen partners, do not give them up because they are such, for you may become the means of saving them unto eternal life. Bear your cross, and look up to God, and he may give your unbelieving husband or wife to your prayers.”
- 1 Corinthians (Presbyterian) “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown on 1 Corinthians 11:11: Yet neither sex is insulated and independent of the other in the Christian life [ALFORD]. The one needs the other in the sexual relation; and in respect to Christ ("in the Lord"), the man and the woman together (for neither can be dispensed with) realize the ideal of redeemed humanity represented by the bride, the Church.”
- 2 Corinthians (Presbyterian) “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown on 2 Corinthians 6:14: Be not--Greek, "Become not." unequally yoked--"yoked with one alien in spirit." The image is from the symbolical precept of the law (Lev 19:19), "Thou shalt not let thy cattle gender with a diverse kind"; or the precept (Deu 22:10), "Thou shalt not plough with an ox and an ass together." Compare Deu 7:3, forbidding marriages with the heathen; also Co1 7:39. The believer and unbeliever are utterly heterogeneous. Too close intercourse with unbelievers in other relations also is included (Co2 6:16; Co1 8:10; Co1 10:14). fellowship--literally, "”
- 1 Corinthians (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on 1 Corinthians 7:39: 7:39 A widow may marry another man, but only if he loves the Lord. Paul strongly discouraged the marriage of Christians to unbelievers (cp. 2 Cor 6:14-16).”