Dealing with Threats of Violence from Family Members Biblically
The Bible addresses the complexities of family relationships, including instances of conflict and threats of violence, by offering both examples and principles for navigating such difficult situations. While families are ideally blessed and should live in unity and mutual forbearance, scripture also acknowledges the reality of strife and anger within them [3, 6, 7].
One biblical example of facing a threat from a family member is Jacob's plea to God concerning his brother Esau: "Please deliver me from the hand of my brother, from the hand of Esau: for I fear him, lest he come and strike me, and the mothers with the children" [1]. This passage illustrates a recognition of danger and a reliance on divine protection in the face of a perceived threat from a close relative.
Biblical teachings emphasize a general approach to enemies and those who cause affliction that can be applied to family members. Believers are encouraged to love their enemies, pray for them, assist them, and overcome evil with kindness [4]. Malice, which can lead to strife and anger, is forbidden and seen as a work of the flesh [6, 7, 8]. Instead, Christians are called to avoid malice and pray for those who injure them [8].
When facing threats, the Bible encourages believers not to be afraid of sudden fear or the desolation wicked individuals might bring [10]. Instead, the focus should be on fearing the Lord, which can free individuals from the fear of human persecutors [9]. As Zechariah 8:13 states, "Don’t be afraid. Let your hands be strong" [2]. This perspective suggests that a strong relationship with God provides a foundation for courage and resilience.
Furthermore, the Bible instructs believers to care for the afflicted, which includes praying for them, sympathizing with them, comforting them, and protecting them [5]. While this instruction typically refers to those suffering generally, it can also inform how one might respond to a family member who is acting out of anger or malice, seeking to protect oneself and others while still holding to biblical principles of love and forbearance where possible. The emphasis is on avoiding strife and anger, which are seen as stemming from a carnal spirit and various negative traits like pride and a contentious disposition [6, 7].
Sources
- Genesis “Please deliver me from the hand of my brother, from the hand of Esau: for I fear him, lest he come and strike me, and the mothers with the children. -- Genesis 32:11”
- Zechariah “It shall come to pass that, as you were a curse among the nations, house of Judah and house of Israel, so will I save you, and you shall be a blessing. Don’t be afraid. Let your hands be strong.” -- Zechariah 8:13”
- Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Families — Of saints blessed -- Ps 128:3-6. Should Be taught the Scriptures. -- De 4:9,10. Worship God together. -- 1Co 16:19. Be duly regulated. -- Pr 31:27; 1Ti 3:4,5,12. Live in unity. -- Ge 45:24; Ps 133:1. Live in mutual forbearance. -- Ge 50:17-21; Mt 18:21,22. Rejoice together before God. -- De 14:26. Deceivers and liars should be removed from -- Ps 101:7. Warning against departing from God -- De 29:18. Punishment of irreligious -- Jer 10:25. Good -- Exemplified Abraham. -- Ge 18:19. Jacob. -- Ge 35:2. Joshua. -- Jos 24:15. David. -- 2Sa 6:20. Job. -- Job 1:5.”
- Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Enemies — Christ prayed for his -- Lu 23:34. The lives of, to be spared -- 1Sa 24:10; 2Sa 16:10,11. The goods of, to be taken care of -- Ex 23:4,5. Should be Loved. -- Mt 5:44. Prayed for. -- Ac 7:60. Assisted. -- Pr 25:21; Ro 12:20. Overcome by kindness. -- 1Sa 26:21. Rejoice not at the misfortunes of -- Job 31:29. Rejoice not at the failings of -- Pr 24:17. Desire not the death of -- 1Ki 3:11. Curse them not -- Job 31:30. Be affectionately concerned for -- Ps 35:13. The friendship of, deceitful -- 2Sa 20:9,10; Pr 26:26; 27:6; Mt 26:48,49. God defends against -- Ps ”
- Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Afflicted, Duty Toward The — To pray for them -- Ac 12:5; Php 1:16,19; Jas 5:14-16. To sympathise with them -- Ro 12:15; Ga 6:2. To pity them -- Job 6:14. To bear them in mind -- Heb 13:3. To visit them -- Jas 1:27. To comfort them -- Job 16:5; 29:25; 2Co 1:4; 1Th 4:18. To relieve them -- Job 31:19,20; Isa 58:10; Php 4:14; 1Ti 5:10. To protect them -- Ps 82:3; Pr 22:22; 31:5.”
- Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Strife — Christ, an example of avoiding -- Isa 42:2; Mt 12:15-19; Lu 9:52-56; 1Pe 2:23. Forbidden -- Pr 3:30; 25:8. A work of the flesh -- Ga 5:20. An evidence of a carnal spirit -- 1Co 3:3. Existed in the church -- 1Co 1:11. Excited by Hatred. -- Pr 10:12. Pride. -- Pr 13:10; 28:25. Wrath. -- Pr 15:18; 30:33. Frowardness. -- Pr 16:28. A contentious disposition. -- Pr 26:21. Tale-bearing. -- Pr 26:20. Drunkenness. -- Pr 23:29,30. Lusts. -- Jas 4:1. Curious questions. -- 1Ti 6:4; 2Ti 2:23. Scorning. -- Pr 22:10. Difficulty of stopping, a reason for avoiding it -- Pr 1”
- Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Anger — Forbidden -- Ec 7:9; Mt 5:22; Ro 12:19. A work of the flesh -- Ga 5:20. A characteristic of fools -- Pr 12:16; 14:29; 27:3; Ec 7:9. Connected with Pride. -- Pr 21:24. Cruelty. -- Ge 49:7; Pr 27:3,4. Clamour and evil-speaking. -- Eph 4:31. Malice and blasphemy. -- Col 3:8. Strife and contention. -- Pr 21:19; 29:22; 30:33. Brings its own punishment -- Job 5:2; Pr 19:19; 25:28. Grievous words stir up -- Jdj 12:4; 2Sa 19:43; Pr 15:1. Should not betray us into sin -- Ps 37:8; Eph 4:26. In prayer be free from -- 1Ti 2:8. May be averted by wisdom -- Pr 29:8. Meeknes”
- Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Malice — Springs from an evil heart -- Mt 15:19,20; Ga 5:19. Forbidden -- 1Co 14:20; Col 3:8; Eph 4:26,27. A hindrance to growth in grace -- 1Pe 2:1,2. Incompatible with the worship of God -- 1Co 5:7,8. Christian liberty not to be a cloak for -- 1Pe 2:16. Saints avoid -- Job 31:29,30; Ps 35:12-14. The wicked Speak with. -- 3Jo 1:10. Live in. -- Tit 3:3. Conceive. -- Ps 7:14. Filled with. -- Ro 1:29. Visit saints with. -- Ps 83:3; Mt 22:6. Pray for those who injure you through -- Mt 5:44. Brings its own punishment -- Ps 7:15,16. God requites -- Ps 10:14; Eze 36:5. Pun”
- 1 Peter (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on 1 Peter 3:14: 3:14-15 or be afraid of their threats: See Isa 8:13, where God exhorts the prophet to fear nothing except the Lord. • worship Christ as Lord: By fearing Christ, they will be free from fear of their human persecutors.”
- Proverbs (Baptist/Reformed) “John Gill on Proverbs 3:25: Be not afraid of sudden fear,.... Of anything terrible that comes unawares, unthought of, by any of the above things mentioned in the preceding note; or by any rumours and reports of danger being near at hand; always think thyself safe in the arms of Wisdom, and under the care of Israel's keeper, who neither slumbers nor sleeps; neither of the desolation of the wicked when it cometh; either of the desolation which wicked men threaten to bring, and are suffered to bring, upon the godly for the sake of religion; either on their persons or goods, since suffering at t”