Defining Marriage Problems for Effective Conflict Resolution
Defining Marriage and Its Problems for Effective Conflict Resolution
Marriage is a fundamental human institution rooted in the created order, representing an inseparable and exclusive relationship between a man and a woman [4]. The biblical account in Genesis 2:24 highlights that marriage involves a shift of loyalty from parents to spouse, creating a powerful image of Israel's covenant with God and Christ's relationship to the church.
The biblical perspective on marriage is further nuanced by its treatment of divorce. Divorce is described as "a legal dissolution of the marriage relation" [1]. The grounds for divorce varied among Jewish schools of thought during the New Testament period, with the school of Shammai limiting it to moral delinquency in the woman, while the school of Hillel extended it to more trivial causes [1]. The law regulating divorce is found in Deuteronomy 24:1-4.
In the biblical context, marriage problems often stem from breaches of covenant faithfulness. Malachi 2:16 indicates that God hates divorce because it involves cruelty and treachery against one's marriage partner. The prophet emphasizes the importance of faithfulness in marriage, reflecting God's own faithfulness to his covenant with Israel [8].
The New Testament continues this emphasis on the importance of marriage and the challenges that arise within it. The apostle Paul advises younger widows to remarry to avoid temptation and idleness, suggesting that remarriage can be a viable solution to certain marital and social problems [2]. However, the New Testament also acknowledges that not all marital issues can be resolved through remarriage. Jesus himself notes that his teachings can lead to divisions within families, including between spouses [7].
Effective conflict resolution within marriage involves understanding the biblical view of marriage as a covenant. The covenant between a man and a woman is likened to the covenant between God and his people, emphasizing the need for faithfulness and commitment [4, 5]. In cases where marriages have become problematic due to interfaith or cultural issues, biblical leaders have sought solutions that are consistent with Scripture. For example, Ezra's handling of the issue of intermarriage with pagan wives involved developing a plan that was fair and in line with the law of Moses [3].
The biblical wisdom literature also offers insights into maintaining a healthy marriage. Proverbs 5:15-23 encourages husbands to find joy and satisfaction in their wives, using the metaphor of drinking from one's own cistern to emphasize the importance of marital fidelity [6].
Sources
- Smith's Bible Dictionary “Smith's Bible Dictionary: Divorce — "a legal dissolution of the marriage relation." The law regulating this subject is found (24:1-4) and the cases in which the right of a husband to divorce his wife was lost are stated ibid ., (22:19,29) The ground of divorce is appoint on which the Jewish doctors of the period of the New Testament differed widely; the school of Shammai seeming to limit it to a moral delinquency in the woman, whilst that the Hillel extended it to trifling causes, e.g., if the wife burnt the food she was cooking for her husband. The Pharisees wished perhaps to embroil our Savi”
- 1 Timothy (Presbyterian) “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown on 1 Timothy 5:14: younger women--rather, as ellipsis ought to be supplied, "the younger widows," namely younger widows in general, as distinguished from the older widows taken on the roll of presbyteresses (Ti1 5:9). The "therefore" means seeing that young widows are exposed to such temptations, "I will," or "desire," &c. (Ti1 5:11-13). The precept here that they should marry again is not inconsistent with Co1 7:40; for the circumstances of the two cases were distinct (compare Co1 7:26). Here remarriage is recommended as an antidote to sexual passion, idleness, and t”
- Ezra (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Ezra 10:4: 10:4 it is your duty: As an expert in the law (see 7:10), Ezra was responsible for leading the people to a God-honoring solution to the problem of intermarriage. Because the law of Moses did not contain explicit directions for divorcing pagan wives, Ezra needed to develop a plan consistent with the requirements of Scripture and fair to the participants.”
- Genesis (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Genesis 2:24: 2:24 Marriage between a man and a woman is not just a human social construct but is rooted in the created order. • a man leaves . . . and is joined: Marriage entails a shift of loyalty from parents to spouse. • the two are united into one: Marriage and its commitments make it the most fundamental covenant relationship observed among humans. Marriage is a powerful image of Israel’s covenant with God (Hos 2:14-23) and of Christ’s relationship to the church (Eph 5:22-32). Marriage is designed as an inseparable, exclusive relationship between a man and a woman. The f”
- Hebrews (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Hebrews 8:6: 8:6 the one who mediates: A mediator works with two parties to bring them to agreement. Christ’s work of sacrifice established the covenant relationship between people and God. • a far better covenant with God: See “The New Covenant” Theme Note. This covenant is better because it is based on better promises (see 8:7-13).”
- Proverbs (Baptist/Reformed) “John Gill on Proverbs 5:15: Drink waters out of thine own cistern,.... Arguments being used to dissuade from conversation with an adulterous woman, taken from the disgrace, diseases, poverty, and distress of mind on reflection, it brings a man to; the wise man proceeds to direct to marriage, as a proper antidote against it: take a wife and cleave to her, and enjoy all the pleasures and comforts of a marriage state. As every man formerly had his own cistern for the reception of water for his own use, Kg2 18:31; so every man should have his own wife, and but one: and as drinking water quenches t”
- Matthew (Baptist/Reformed) “John Gill on Matthew 10:34: For I am come to set a man at variance against,.... Or "to divide a man from his father". Here our Lord opens and explains what he means by the sword, intestine divisions, domestic broils, family differences, as well as such as appear in towns, cities, and kingdoms, which are exemplified by other instances following; and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law: the case is this, a father believing in Christ, embracing his Gospel, and submitting to his institutions, is contradicted, opposed, and persecuted by his own son, ”
- Malachi (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Malachi 2:16: 2:16 hate: God hates a broken covenant (see 1:3; Hos 9:15). This is appropriate because God’s relationship with people is characterized by faithfulness, and he expected no less from Israel (Exod 34:6; Deut 7:9). • To divorce (literally send away) means to expel a marriage partner. Malachi wanted to correct the abuse of the divorce laws (see Deut 24:1-4). • to overwhelm her with cruelty: Cruelty entails acts of violence or wrongdoing. The estrangement of divorce is a violent and cruel social crime. To divorce one’s wife is treachery against her and against the mar”