BEREAN.AI ← Ask a Question

Discerning and Reevaluating Relationships with Unworthy Christian Examples

The Bible and subsequent theological traditions offer guidance on how believers should approach relationships with those who claim to be Christian but exhibit behaviors contrary to Christian teaching. Such individuals may be described as "unworthy examples" due to their actions, which can include selfishness, ignorance of God, or treachery [4, 5, 10].

One aspect of discerning such relationships involves recognizing behaviors that contradict Christian principles. Selfishness, for instance, is contrary to God's law and the example of Christ, who denied himself [5, 6]. It manifests in being lovers of oneself, seeking one's own interests, and neglecting the poor [5]. Similarly, ignorance of God is evidenced by a lack of love, failure to keep His commands, and living in sin [4]. This ignorance can lead to error, idolatry, and alienation from God [4]. Treachery, or dealing falsely with others, is also highlighted as a corrupt practice stemming from corrupt principles [10].

When confronted with individuals who exhibit these traits, believers are called to exercise discernment. The Apostle Paul, in his letter to the Corinthians, suggests that if there are judgments concerning matters of this life, even those "least esteemed in the Church" might be called upon to resolve them, implying a need for internal resolution of disputes [1]. However, he also notes that some preach Christ out of contention, not sincerely, seeking to stir up trouble [2]. John Gill, commenting on 2 Corinthians, observes that ministers may face both honor and dishonor, good and evil reports, from others, indicating that not all perceptions or treatments will be positive [7]. Matthew Henry, in his commentary on 1 Peter, notes that when individuals change their wicked ways, their former acquaintances may "think it strange" and wonder at their altered conduct [9]. This suggests that a change in behavior, moving away from ungodly practices, can lead to a re-evaluation of relationships by those who remain in sin.

Re-evaluating relationships with those who are unworthy examples can involve a shift in how one interacts with them. While there is "a time to love, and a time to hate," this "hate" can refer to a diminished love or a change in affection when someone proves treacherous [11]. The concept of self-denial is central to Christian living, requiring believers to deny ungodliness and worldly lusts, and to mortify sinful desires [6]. This commitment to a holy life, according to Matthew Henry, is supported by a good conscience and a good conversation (conduct) in Christ [12]. If one's conscience is pure and one's life aligns with Christ's doctrine and example, then even false accusations from others can be cleared [12].

In some cases, the re-evaluation of relationships can be quite stark. Paul, for example, advises younger widows to remarry to avoid temptations like idleness and gossip, suggesting a practical approach to managing potentially problematic social dynamics within the church [13]. The presence of "trucebreakers" or "covenant breakers" who stir up rebellion and dissolve allegiance is also noted as a characteristic of difficult times, implying that such individuals are not to be condoned [8]. Adam Clarke, commenting on Galatians, warns against "biting and devouring one another," which he attributes to pride, anger, and ill-will taking possession of souls when Christ no longer dwells in hearts by faith [14]. Such internal strife among believers is highly destructive to peace and religion [14]. The Psalms also speak of "unrighteous witnesses" who ask about things unknown, highlighting the challenge of dealing with those who act unjustly [3].

Sources

  1. I Corinthians “I Corinthians 6:4 (Geneva1599) — If then ye haue iudgements of things perteining to this life, set vp them which are least esteemed in the Church.”
  2. Philippians “Quidam autem ex contentione Christum annuntiant non sincere, existimantes pressuram se suscitare vinculis meis. -- Philippians 1:17”
  3. Psalms “Unrighteous witnesses rise up. They ask me about things that I don’t know about. -- Psalms 35:11”
  4. Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Ignorance of God — Ignorance of Christ is -- Joh 8:19. Evidenced by Want of love. -- 1Jo 4:8. Not keeping his commands. -- 1Jo 2:4. Living in sin. -- Tit 1:16; 1Jo 3:6. Leads to Error. -- Mt 22:29. Idolatry. -- Isa 44:19; Ac 17:29,30. Alienation from God. -- Eph 4:18. Sinful lusts. -- 1Th 4:5; 1Pe 1:14. Persecuting saints. -- Joh 15:21; 16:3. Is no excuse for sin -- Le 4:2; Lu 12:48. The wicked, in a state of -- Jer 9:3; Joh 15:21; 17:25; Ac 17:30. The wicked choose -- Job 21:14; Ro 1:28. Punishment of -- Ps 79:6; 2Th 1:8. Ministers should Compassionate those in. -- ”
  5. Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Selfishness — Contrary to the law of God -- Le 19:18; Mt 22:39; Jas 2:8. The example of Christ condemns -- Joh 4:34; Ro 15:3; 2Co 8:9. God hates -- Mal 1:10. Exhibited in Being lovers of ourselves. -- 2Ti 3:2. Pleasing ourselves. -- Ro 15:1. Seeking our own. -- 1Co 10:33; Php 2:21. Seeking after gain. -- Isa 56:11. Seeking undue precedence. -- Mt 20:21. Living to ourselves. -- 2Co 5:15. Neglect of the poor. -- 1Jo 3:17. Serving God for reward. -- Mal 1:10. Performing duty for reward. -- Mic 3:11. Inconsistent with Christian love -- 1Co 13:5. Inconsistent with communi”
  6. Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Self-Denial — Christ set an example of -- Mt 4:8-10; 8:20; Joh 6:38; Ro 15:3; Php 2:6-8. A test of devotedness to Christ -- Mt 10:37,38; Lu 9:23,24. Necessary In following Christ. -- Lu 14:27-33. In the warfare of saints. -- 2Ti 2:4. To the triumph of saints. -- 1Co 9:25-27. Ministers especially called to exercise -- 2Co 6:4,5. Should be exercised in Denying ungodliness and worldly lusts. -- Ro 6:12; Tit 2:12. Controlling the appetite. -- Pr 23:2. Abstaining from fleshly lusts. -- 1Pe 2:11. No longer living to lusts of men. -- 1Pe 4:2. Mortifying sinful lusts. -- Mr ”
  7. 2 Corinthians (Baptist/Reformed) “John Gill on 2 Corinthians 6:7: By honour and dishonour,.... Some persons think and speak honourably of us, and behave in a reverent manner towards us; they wish us well, bid us God speed, receive us into their houses, and treat us with respect: others think meanly of us, speak of us with the utmost contempt, and use us as if we were the filth of the world, and the offscouring of all things; so we pass through the world; this is the treatment we meet with on the right hand and on the left; nor are we much affected with it: by evil report and good report; as it fares with our persons, so with”
  8. 2 Timothy (Baptist/Reformed) “John Gill on 2 Timothy 3:3: Without natural affection,.... To parents, or children, or wife; parents thrusting their children into religious houses, cloisters, &c. against their wills; children leaving their parents without their knowledge or consent; married bishops and priests being obliged to quit their wives, and declare their children spurious; with many other such unnatural actions. Trucebreakers; or covenant breakers; stirring up princes to break through their treaties and covenants with one another; dissolving the allegiance of subjects to their sovereigns, and moving them to rebelli”
  9. 1 Peter (Nonconformist/Puritan) “Matthew Henry on 1 Peter 4:4: I. Here you have the visible change wrought in those who in the foregoing verse were represented as having been in the former part of their life very wicked. They no longer run on in the same courses, or with the same companions, as they used to do. Hereupon observe the conduct of their wicked acquaintance towards them. 1. They think it strange, they are surprised and wonder at it, as at something new and unusual, that their old friends should be so much altered, and not run with as much violence as they used to do to the same excess of riot, to the same sottish e”
  10. Malachi (Nonconformist/Puritan) “Matthew Henry on Malachi 2:10: Corrupt practices are the genuine fruit and product of corrupt principles; and the badness of men's hearts and lives is owing to some loose atheistical notions which they have got and which they govern themselves by. Now, in these verses, we have an instance of this; we here find men dealing falsely with one another, and it is because they think falsely of their God. Observe, I. How corrupt their practices were. In general, they dealt treacherously every man against his brother, Mal 2:10. It cannot be expected that he who is false to his God should be true to his”
  11. Ecclesiastes (Baptist/Reformed) “John Gill on Ecclesiastes 3:8: A time to love, and a time to hate,.... For one to love his friend, and to hate a man, a sinner, as the Targum; to love a friend while he continues such, and hate him, or less love him, when he proves treacherous and unfaithful; an instance of a change of love into hatred may be seen in the case of Amnon, Sa2 13:15. A time of unregeneracy is a time of loving worldly lusts and sinful pleasures, the company of wicked men, and all carnal delights and recreations; and a time of conversion is a time to hate what was before loved, sin, and the conversion of sinners, th”
  12. 1 Peter (Nonconformist/Puritan) “Matthew Henry on 1 Peter 3:16: The confession of a Christian's faith cannot credibly be supported but by the two means here specified - a good conscience and a good conversation. conscience is good when it does its office well, when it is kept pure and uncorrupt, and clear from guilt; then it will justify you, though men accuse you. A good conversation in Christ is a holy life, according to the doctrine and example of Christ. "Look well to your conscience, and to your conversation; and then, though men speak evil of you, and falsely accuse you as evil-doers, you will clear yourselves, and brin”
  13. 1 Timothy (Presbyterian) “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown on 1 Timothy 5:14: younger women--rather, as ellipsis ought to be supplied, "the younger widows," namely younger widows in general, as distinguished from the older widows taken on the roll of presbyteresses (Ti1 5:9). The "therefore" means seeing that young widows are exposed to such temptations, "I will," or "desire," &c. (Ti1 5:11-13). The precept here that they should marry again is not inconsistent with Co1 7:40; for the circumstances of the two cases were distinct (compare Co1 7:26). Here remarriage is recommended as an antidote to sexual passion, idleness, and t”
  14. Galatians (Methodist/Wesleyan) “Adam Clarke on Galatians 5:15: If ye bite and devour one another - These Churches seem to have been in a state of great distraction; there were continual altercations among them. They had fallen from the grace of the Gospel; and, as Christ no longer dwelt in their hearts by faith, pride, anger, ill-will, and all unkind and uncharitable tempers, took possession of their souls, and they were in consequence alternately destroying each other. Nothing is so destructive to the peace of man, and to the peace of the soul, as religious disputes; where they prevail, religion in general has little place.”
Ask Your Own Question
About Terms Privacy Contact

© 2026 BEREAN.AI. All rights reserved.