Domestic Abuse and Divorce in Christian Marriages
The Old Testament permitted divorce, as regulated by Mosaic law in Deuteronomy 24:1-4 [1]. This allowance was given due to the "hardness of heart" of the people [2]. However, the prophet Malachi indicates God's hatred for divorce, viewing it as a broken covenant and an act of treachery and cruelty against one's spouse [8].
Jesus significantly limited the grounds for divorce, restricting it to cases of sexual infidelity (Matthew 5:31-32; 19:1-9; Mark 10:2-12; Luke 16:18) [1, 3]. He challenged the casual approach to divorce prevalent in his time, where it was often sought on slight pretenses [1, 2, 3]. The issuance of a notice of divorce, a document stating its legality, typically permitted remarriage [3]. Jesus's teachings on divorce are understood to regulate the practice within the Christian Church [1]. The apostle Paul also addresses divorce, allowing it in cases of sexual immorality and forbidding casual divorce (1 Corinthians 7:10-11) [3].
While the Bible permits divorce in specific circumstances, it also outlines the responsibilities of spouses within marriage. Ephesians 5:22-33 instructs Christian wives to submit to their husbands and show them respect, while Christian husbands are commanded to love their wives sacrificially, just as Christ loved the church [4, 7]. This sacrificial love implies a willingness to suffer for one's wife, even to the point of giving one's life for her [5]. Colossians 3:18-19 reiterates these reciprocal duties, emphasizing submission for wives and love for husbands [4, 7].
The concept of mutual care extends to sexual intimacy within marriage. 1 Corinthians 7:3-4 states that married Christians must be considerate of their spouses' sexual needs, recognizing that sexual intimacy is a mutual right that should not be withheld. This passage also notes that authority over one's body is yielded to one's spouse, though this authority is not to be abused [6].
Domestic abuse, characterized by acts of violence or wrongdoing, stands in direct opposition to the biblical commands for husbands to love their wives sacrificially and for spouses to treat each other with respect and care [7, 8]. Malachi 2:16 describes cruelty as overwhelming one's spouse, equating it with the treachery of divorce [8]. The New Testament emphasis on mutual submission and sacrificial love within marriage, particularly the husband's call to love his wife as Christ loved the church, provides a strong theological basis against any form of abuse [4, 5, 7]. While the Bible permits divorce for specific reasons, the overarching message emphasizes the sanctity of marriage and the responsibilities of spouses to uphold their covenant with love and faithfulness.
Sources
- Easton's Bible Dictionary “Easton's Bible Dictionary: Divorce — The dissolution of the marriage tie was regulated by the Mosaic law (Deut. 24:1-4). The Jews, after the Captivity, were reguired to dismiss the foreign women they had married contrary to the law (Ezra 10:11-19). Christ limited the permission of divorce to the single case of adultery. It seems that it was not uncommon for the Jews at that time to dissolve the union on very slight pretences (Matt. 5:31, 32; 19:1-9; Mark 10:2-12; Luke 16:18). These precepts given by Christ regulate the law of divorce in the Christian Church.”
- Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Divorce — Law of marriage against -- Ge 2:24; Mt 19:6. Permitted By the Mosaic law. -- De 24:1. On account of hardness of heart. -- Mt 19:8. Often sought by the Jews -- Mic 2:9; Mal 2:14. Sought on slight grounds -- Mt 5:31; 19:3. Not allowed to those who falsely accused their wives -- De 22:18,19. Women Could obtain. -- Pr 2:17; Mr 10:12. Could marry after. -- De 24:2. Responsible for vows after. -- Nu 30:9. Married after, could not return to first husband. -- De 24:3,4; Jer 3:1. Afflicted by. -- Isa 54:4,6. Priests not to marry women after -- Le 21:14. Of servants,”
- Matthew (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Matthew 5:31: 5:31-32 Jesus challenges the misapplication of the Old Testament provision for divorce (see Deut 24:1-4; cp. Matt 19:3-9): Following the rules does not make divorce acceptable. Jesus allows only one legitimate reason for divorce, sexual infidelity, and forbids casual divorce (see also 1 Cor 7:10-11). 5:31 A notice of divorce is a document stating the legality of a divorce. Evidence suggests that such a document permitted remarriage. “The essential formula in the notice of divorce is, ‘Lo, you are free to marry any man.’ . . . The essential formula in a writ of em”
- Ephesians (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Ephesians 5:22: 5:22-33 Christian wives are to submit to their husbands, showing them respect. Equally important, Christian husbands are to love their wives (see Col 3:18-19). Christian marriages become a reflection of the union and relationship between the Lord and the church. 5:22 Submission is part of the life to which the wives’ Christian commitment calls them (see 1 Cor 11:3-10; 14:34-35; Col 3:18; 1 Tim 2:11-12; Titus 2:5; 1 Pet 3:1-6).”
- Ephesians (Presbyterian) “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown on Ephesians 5:25: "Thou hast seen the measure of obedience; now hear also the measure of love. Do you wish your wife to obey you, as the Church is to obey Christ? Then have a solicitude for her as Christ had for the Church (Eph 5:23, "Himself the Saviour of the body"); and "if it be necessary to give thy life for her, or to be cut in ten thousand pieces, or to endure any other suffering whatever, do not refuse it; and if you suffer thus, not even so do you do what Christ has done; for you indeed do so being already united to her, but He did so for one that treated Hi”
- 1 Corinthians (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on 1 Corinthians 7:3: 7:3-4 Because of the temptation to sexual immorality, married Christians must always be considerate of the sexual needs of their spouses. Sexual intimacy is a mutual right for both spouses in a marriage and must not be withheld. Marriage includes yielding the authority over one’s body to one’s spouse, though such authority is clearly not to be abused.”
- Ephesians (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Ephesians 5:25: 5:25-33 Christian husbands are to love their wives just as Christ loved the church—that is, sacrificially, for Christ gave up his life for her (5:2; cp. Col 3:19; 1 Pet 3:7).”
- Malachi (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Malachi 2:16: 2:16 hate: God hates a broken covenant (see 1:3; Hos 9:15). This is appropriate because God’s relationship with people is characterized by faithfulness, and he expected no less from Israel (Exod 34:6; Deut 7:9). • To divorce (literally send away) means to expel a marriage partner. Malachi wanted to correct the abuse of the divorce laws (see Deut 24:1-4). • to overwhelm her with cruelty: Cruelty entails acts of violence or wrongdoing. The estrangement of divorce is a violent and cruel social crime. To divorce one’s wife is treachery against her and against the mar”