Enabling Behavior and Spiritual Abuse in Relationships
The concept of spiritual abuse in relationships is closely tied to the understanding of the dynamics within marriages and spiritual kinship. In the Jewish tradition, Maimonides discusses the importance of holiness in marital relations, emphasizing that a wise man should behave with holiness, even though his wife is permitted to him at all times [4]. This highlights the significance of mutual respect and sanctity in marital relationships.
In Christian theology, the sacrament of marriage is considered to create a spiritual bond between spouses. Aquinas argues that just as carnal procreation gives man natural being, the sacraments give him the spiritual being of grace, and thus the tie contracted from the reception of the sacraments is natural to man as a member of the Church [1]. This understanding underscores the gravity of spiritual relationships and the potential for abuse within them.
Enabling behavior in the context of spiritual abuse refers to actions or attitudes that facilitate or condone abusive behavior within spiritual or marital relationships. The Reformed tradition, as represented by Calvin, critiques the Catholic Church's handling of marital causes, suggesting that their laws and practices sometimes enabled unjust or unbiblical behaviors [5].
The issue of coercion or force within relationships is addressed in various traditions. Maimonides notes that a person compelled to engage in forbidden relations is not liable, emphasizing the importance of consent and the lack of culpability under duress [2]. This principle can be applied to understanding the dynamics of spiritual abuse, where coercion or manipulation may be used.
The biblical basis for understanding healthy and abusive relationships is found in passages such as 1 Peter 3, which discusses the relative duties of husbands and wives, emphasizing mutual respect and submission [3]. The early Christian tradition, as seen in the writings of Tertullian, also grapples with issues of divorce and the spiritual implications of marital separation [6].
Spiritual abuse can occur when there is an exploitation of spiritual authority or a misuse of spiritual practices to control or harm others. The various traditions represented in the sources emphasize the importance of mutual respect, consent, and holiness in relationships, providing a foundation for understanding and addressing spiritual abuse.
The historical development of thought on spiritual relationships and marriage across Jewish and Christian traditions reveals a complex and nuanced understanding of the issues involved. By examining the teachings of Maimonides, Aquinas, Calvin, and others, it becomes clear that the prevention of spiritual abuse requires a deep understanding of the spiritual dimensions of relationships and a commitment to mutual respect and holiness.
Sources
- theology (Catholic (Scholastic)) “Aquinas, Summa Theologica, Supplement (Supplementum), Of the Impediment of Spiritual Relationship, Art. 1: Article: Whether spiritual relationship is an impediment to marriage? I answer that, Just as by carnal procreation man receives natural being, so by the sacraments he receives the spiritual being of grace. Wherefore just as the tie that is contracted by carnal procreation is natural to man, inasmuch as he is a natural being, so the tie that is contracted from the reception of the sacraments is after a fashion natural to man, inasmuch as he is a member of the Church. Therefore as carnal re”
- Mishneh Torah (Maimonides) (Jewish (Rabbinic)) “Mishneh Torah (Maimonides), Mishneh Torah%2C Forbidden Intercourse 1:9: A person compelled [to engage in forbidden relations] is not liable at all, not for lashes nor for a sacrifice. Needless to say, there is no obligation for capital punishment, as [reflected by Deuteronomy 22:26]: "And to the maiden, do not do anything." 25 The verse cited speaks of the rape of a consecrated maiden in a field where even if she had called for help, there would have been none to save her. Since she was compelled to perform the transgression, she is not held responsible. To whom does the above apply? To the vi”
- 1 Peter (Presbyterian) “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown on 1 Peter 3 (introduction): RELATIVE DUTIES OF HUSBANDS AND WIVES: EXHORTATIONS TO LOVE AND FORBEARANCE: RIGHT CONDUCT UNDER PERSECUTIONS FOR RIGHTEOUSNESS' SAKE, AFTER CHRIST'S EXAMPLE, WHOSE DEATH RESULTED IN QUICKENING TO US THROUGH HIS BEING QUICKENED AGAIN, OF WHICH BAPTISM IS THE SACRAMENTAL SEAL. (1Pe. 3:1-22) Likewise--Greek, "In like manner," as "servants" in their sphere; compare the reason of the woman's subjection, Co1 11:8-10; Ti1 2:11-14. your own--enforcing the obligation: it is not strangers ye are required to be subject to. Every time that obedien”
- Mishneh Torah (Maimonides) (Jewish (Rabbinic)) “Mishneh Torah (Maimonides), Mishneh Torah%2C Human Dispositions 5:4: Although a man's wife is permitted to him at all times, 1 i.e., outside the restrictions of the niddah it is fitting that a wise man behave with holiness. 2 Though a Jew's commitment to holiness must encompass every aspect of his behavior, the Torah and our Sages have always emphasized the importance of this quality in regard to sexuality. There is no more powerful expression of man's basic, instinctual nature than sex. Therefore, precisely in this area, a Jew must reveal that his nature is not only material, that he possesse”
- CCEL (Reformed) “John Calvin, Institutes of the Christian Religion, section 101: cognisance of conjugal causes: as the thing was spiritual, it was not to be intermeddled with by profane judges. Then they enacted laws by which they confirmed their tyranny,—laws partly impious toward God, partly fraught with injustice toward men; such as, that marriages contracted between minors, without the consent of their parents, should be valid; that no lawful marriages can be contracted between relations within the seventh degree, and that such marriages, if contracted, should be dissolved. Moreover, they frame degrees of ”
- Schaff ANF/NPNF (Patristic) “ANF Vol 4: Tertullian IV, Minucius Felix, Commodian, Origen — CHAP. X.--ST. PAUL'S TEACHING ON THE SUBJECT. (part 2): true sense divorced him, so far as in her lies; and indeed the more iniquitously--inasmuch as (she did it) as far as was in her power--because she had no power (to do it); and with the more indignity, inasmuch as it is with more indignity if (her reason for doing it is) because he did not deserve it. Or else shall we, pray, cease to be after death, according to (the teaching of) some Epicurus, and not according to (that of) Christ? But if we believe the resurrection of the dead”