Encouraging a Courtship Partner Facing Church Restrictions
When a courtship partner faces church restrictions, the situation often involves navigating the intersection of personal relationships and ecclesiastical regulations. These restrictions can stem from various theological interpretations or disciplinary practices concerning marriage and church membership.
One common area of restriction involves the marital status of individuals, particularly in cases of divorce and remarriage. While some traditions, like that represented by Charles Hodge, affirm the lawfulness of marriages between a Christian and an unbeliever, they also acknowledge that if the unbelieving partner departs, the believing partner is not bound by the marriage compact [3]. John Gill, in his commentary on 1 Corinthians, further elaborates that if an unbelieving spouse separates from a believing one "on account of religion, and in hatred to it," the believing spouse is not obligated to remain in the marriage [6]. This suggests a recognition that certain circumstances, particularly those driven by religious animosity, can dissolve marital obligations.
Another set of restrictions can arise from vows or ecclesiastical orders. In Catholic scholastic theology, as articulated by Aquinas, a consummated marriage means that "the husband's body already belongs to his wife," and he cannot vow continence without her consent [5]. However, holy orders are considered an impediment to marriage, not only by fittingness (due to the handling of sacred vessels and sacraments) but also by the Church's ordinance, though practices may differ between Latin and Greek traditions [8]. This highlights how certain commitments within the church structure can directly impact marital eligibility.
Furthermore, some church restrictions relate to the broader conduct and eligibility for church fellowship. Charles Hodge emphasizes that monogamy is the "undoubted law of Christ," and polygamists should not be admitted to Christian fellowship, even if they are heathen converts [4]. This indicates a strict adherence to biblical marital norms as a prerequisite for full church participation. The concept of the visible church, in Hodge's view, includes those who make an "external profession of the doctrines of the Gospel, and subjection to the laws and ordinances of Christ," forming a society "separated from the world" [7]. This framework implies that adherence to church standards is integral to membership.
In situations where a partner faces such restrictions, encouragement might involve understanding the specific theological basis for the restriction and discerning whether the restriction is absolute or conditional. The Apostle Paul, in Philippians, expresses a desire to be released and "to be with Christ," indicating a longing for a state "far better" than his current constraint [1]. While not directly about marital restrictions, this sentiment reflects a spiritual perspective on navigating difficult circumstances. Similarly, Romans 15:30 urges believers to "join me in my struggle by praying to God for me," suggesting that communal support and prayer are vital in facing challenges [2]. This communal aspect of support can be crucial for a partner navigating church-imposed limitations.
Sources
- Philippians “Philippians 1:23 (Rotherham) — I am held in constraint, however, by reason of the two,—having, the coveting, to be released, and to be with, Christ, for it were far better!”
- Romans “Romans 15:30 (BSB) — Now I urge you, brothers, by our Lord Jesus Christ and by the love of the Spirit, to join me in my struggle by praying to God for me.”
- CCEL (Reformed (Old Princeton)) “Charles Hodge, Systematic Theology, Vol. 3, section 49: woman’s leaving her husband, which do not justify a dissolution of the marriage bond. With regard to those cases in which one of the parties was a Christian and the other an unbeliever, he teaches, first, that such marriages are lawful, and, therefore, ought not to be dissolved. But, secondly, that if the unbelieving partner depart, i.e ., repudiates the marriage, the believing partner is not bound; i.e ., is no longer bound by the marriage compact. This seems to be the plain meaning. If the unbelieving partner is willing to continue in t”
- CCEL (Reformed (Old Princeton)) “Charles Hodge, Systematic Theology, Vol. 3, section 49: be admitted to the ministry, in neither case does the passage give authority to receive a polygamist into the fellowship of the Church. Considering, then, that monogamy is the undoubted law of Christ; considering that we have no evidence that He made an exception in favour of heathen converts; and considering the great importance that churches, founded in heathen lands, should bear true witness of the doctrines and precepts of Christianity, it would seem clear that no man having more than one wife should be admitted to Christian fellowshi”
- theology (Catholic (Scholastic)) “Aquinas, Summa Theologica, Supplement (Supplementum), Of the Impediment to Marriage, Arising from a Solemn Vow, Art. 1: Article: Whether one party after the marriage has been consummated can enter religion without the other's consent? I answer that, No one can make an offering to God of what belongs to another. Wherefore since by a consummated marriage the husband's body already belongs to his wife, he cannot by a vow of continence offer it to God without her consent. On the contrary: On the contrary, Married persons are forbidden (1 Cor. 7:5) to abstain from the use of marriage even for a tim”
- 1 Corinthians (Baptist/Reformed) “John Gill on 1 Corinthians 7:15: But if the unbelieving depart,.... If the unbelieving party, man or woman, separate themselves from the believing party on account of religion, and in hatred to it, and will not live with the believer unless Christ is denied, his Gospel abjured, and his ordinances and worship relinquished: let him depart; he or she, though not without making use of all proper means to retain them; but if, after all, they will go, unless such things are complied with as are unreasonable and sinful, they are not to be held, but let go; and the deserted person may sit down conte”
- CCEL (Reformed (Old Princeton)) “Charles Hodge, Systematic Theology, Vol. 3, section 64: an external profession of the doctrines of the Gospel, and subjection to the laws and ordinances of Christ, appear as a society separated from the world, and dedicated to God and his service. In this view, in the present imperfect state, the Church comprehends branches that are withered, as well as those that bear fruit. Now the covenant of grace subsists between the blessed God and the Church, as such a visible Society, 567 567 To this sentence Mr. Blair appends the following note: “In no other way can we conceive the covenant to subsist”
- theology (Catholic (Scholastic)) “Aquinas, Summa Theologica, Supplement (Supplementum), Of the Impediment of Vows and Orders, Art. 3: Article: Whether order is an impediment to matrimony? I answer that, By a certain fittingness the very nature of holy order requires that it should be an impediment to marriage: because those who are in holy orders handle the sacred vessels and the sacraments: wherefore it is becoming that they keep their bodies clean by continence [*Cf. Is. 52:11]. But it is owing to the Church's ordinance that it is actually an impediment to marriage. However it is not the same with the Latins as with the Gree”