Experiencing God's Love in Times of Feeling Unloved

The concept of experiencing God's love despite feeling unloved is rooted in biblical teachings that emphasize God's unwavering love for His people, even in the midst of suffering and hardship. In 1 Peter 2:19, believers are commended for enduring pain and unjust suffering because of their conscience toward God ^[2]. This passage underscores the idea that suffering does not negate God's love; rather, it can be a context in which that love is particularly manifest.

The biblical narrative is replete with instances where God's people face hardships yet remain objects of God's love. The writer of Hebrews notes that Moses chose to suffer with God's people rather than enjoy the fleeting pleasures of sin, indicating a deep-seated conviction that being with God's people, despite the hardships, was preferable to temporary worldly gains ^[1]. This choice reflects an understanding that God's love is not conditioned on the absence of suffering.

John 5:42 highlights a stark contrast between having God's love and lacking it, suggesting that the absence of a perceived love from God can be a reality for some ^[3]. However, various Christian traditions interpret this absence not as a withdrawal of God's love but as a subjective experience that does not necessarily reflect God's objective stance towards His people.

In the view of John Gill, a Baptist/Reformed commentator, suffering is often a consequence of one's faithfulness to God, as seen in the case of the apostle Paul (2 Timothy 1:12) ^[4]. This perspective posits that suffering for the sake of the Gospel is a manifestation of one's commitment to God and, paradoxically, a demonstration of God's love through the believer's perseverance.

The experience of feeling unloved by God is also addressed in the context of the broader narrative of salvation history. According to John Gill's interpretation of Romans 11:30, the Gentiles were once in a state of unbelief and disobedience, yet God showed them mercy ^[5]. This mercy is seen as an expression of God's love, which is not limited by human perceptions of being loved or unloved.

John Chrysostom, an Eastern Orthodox father, emphasizes the difficulty of comprehending the extent of God's love, suggesting that it is through the indwelling of the Holy Spirit that believers can begin to grasp this love ^[7]. This view underscores the role of spiritual experience and the work of the Holy Spirit in enabling believers to perceive God's love, even in times of hardship.

The Nonconformist/Puritan tradition, as represented by Matthew Henry's commentary on Isaiah 54:11, views God's love as being particularly evident in times of restoration and prosperity following periods of distress ^[6]. This perspective sees God's love as not only enduring through hardship but also as a source of future blessings and restoration.

In times of feeling unloved, believers are encouraged to remember those who suffer with them, as the writer of Hebrews exhorts (Hebrews 13:3) ^[8]. This communal aspect of suffering and the practice of sympathizing with one another reinforce the notion that feeling unloved does not isolate one from God's love or from the community of believers.

The biblical promise in Isaiah 54:7, "For a small moment have I forsaken thee," is interpreted by John Gill as indicating that any sense of being forsaken by God is temporary and not a reflection of God's enduring love ^[9]. This interpretation offers comfort to those who feel unloved, suggesting that such feelings are not permanent.

Adam Clarke, representing the Methodist/Wesleyan tradition, notes on Lamentations 3:20 that humility under God's chastising hand can lead to a revival of hope, indicating that even in the midst of adversity, there is a potential for experiencing God's love through a renewed sense of hope and trust ^[10].

Sources

Hebrews “Hebrews 11:25 (BBE) — Feeling that it was better to undergo pain with the people of God, than for a short time to have a taste of the pleasures of sin;”
1 Peter “For it is commendable if someone endures pain, suffering unjustly, because of conscience toward God. -- 1 Peter 2:19”
John “But I know you, that you don’t have God’s love in yourselves. -- John 5:42”
2 Timothy (Baptist/Reformed) “John Gill on 2 Timothy 1:12: For the which cause I also suffer these things,.... The present imprisonment and bonds in which he now was; these, with all the indignities, reproaches, distresses, and persecutions, came upon him, for the sake of his being a preacher of the Gospel; and particularly for his being a teacher of the Gentiles: the Jews hated him, and persecuted him, because he preached the Gospel, and the more because he preached it to the Gentiles, that they might be saved; and the unbelieving Gentiles were stirred up against him, for introducing a new religion among them, to the dest”
Romans (Baptist/Reformed) “John Gill on Romans 11:30: For as ye in times past have not believed God,.... The times referred to, are the times of ignorance, idolatry, and superstition; when God suffered the Gentiles, for many hundreds of years, to walk in their own ways; while the Jews were his favourite people, were chosen by him above all people, separated from them, and distinguished by his goodness; had his word and oracles, his judgments and his statutes to direct them, and many other valuable blessings: the times before the coming of the Messiah are here meant, when these people sat in darkness, and in the region o”
Isaiah (Nonconformist/Puritan) “Matthew Henry on Isaiah 54:11: Very precious promises are here made to the church in her low condition, that God would not only continue his love to his people under their troubles as before, but that he would restore them to their former prosperity, nay, that he would raise them to greater prosperity than any they had yet enjoyed. In the foregoing chapter we had the humiliation and exaltation of Christ; here we have the humiliation and exaltation of the church; for, if we suffer with him, we shall reign with him. Observe, I. The distressed state the church is here reduced to by the providence”
CCEL/NPNF (Eastern Orthodox) “John Chrysostom, Homilies on Galatians–Colossians–Thessalonians: the love of God, it was necessary for Paul to pray, and there was need of the indwelling of the Holy Spirit, who by following mere reasonings shall understand the nature of Christ? And why is it a difficult thing to learn that God loveth us? Beloved, it is extremely difficult. For some know not even this; wherefore, they even say, numberless evils come to be in the world; and others know not the extent of this love. Nor, indeed, is Paul seeking to know its extent, nor with any view to measure it; for how could he? but only to und”
Hebrews (Baptist/Reformed) “John Gill on Hebrews 13:3: Remember them that are in bonds,.... Not for criminal actions, or for debt, though such should be remembered, and pity showed them, especially the latter; but such as are in bonds for the sake of Christ, and the Gospel. This has been often the lot of God's people, who should be remembered, by praying for them, sending comfortable letters to them, personally visiting them, and relieving them under their distresses: as bound with them; as if it were so, as if in the same condition, and circumstances; by sympathizing with them; by considering themselves liable to the ”
Isaiah (Baptist/Reformed) “John Gill on Isaiah 54:7: For a small moment have I forsaken thee,.... The people of God seem to be forsaken by him when he hides his face from them, as it is afterwards explained; when they are in distress, and he does not immediately appear for them; when they are afflicted in body and mind, though these afflictions are but for a moment; nor are they really forsaken, not as to things temporal or spiritual; God never forsakes the work of his own hands, nor his people, at least for ever, or so as that they shall perish. Some interpret this of the seventy years' captivity of the Jews in Babylon”
Lamentations (Methodist/Wesleyan) “Adam Clarke on Lamentations 3:20: By soul - is humbled in me - It is evident that in the preceding verses there is a bitterness of complaint against the bitterness of adversity, that is not becoming to man when under the chastising hand of God; and, while indulging this feeling, all hope fled. Here we find a different feeling; he humbles himself under the mighty hand of God, and then his hope revives, Lam 3:21.”

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