Fifth Commandment on Honoring Parents
The Fifth Commandment, "Honor your father and your mother," is a foundational ethical instruction within the Decalogue, appearing in both Exodus 20:12 and Deuteronomy 5:16 [1]. It is unique among the Ten Commandments as "the first commandment with promise," as noted in Ephesians 6:2 [6]. This promise states that honoring parents will lead to a long life and well-being in the land God is giving [1].
The scope of "honor" in this commandment extends beyond mere obedience. It encompasses a deep inward esteem and reverence, outward respect in speech and behavior, and a readiness to obey their commands [8, 12]. Children are expected to highly regard their parents, speak of them honorably, and behave respectfully [8]. This honor also includes practical care, such as providing for parents in their old age [3]. The command to honor parents is so significant that Jesus himself quoted it in response to a question about inheriting eternal life [9, 10].
While primarily addressing the immediate biological parents, some interpretations broaden the application of the Fifth Commandment. It can extend to all ancestors, such as grandparents, and to those who stand in the place of parents, including stepparents, guardians, and nurses [6]. Furthermore, the principle of honoring superiors can be applied to those in positions of authority, such as kings, governors, masters, ministers, and magistrates, recognizing that superiority can consist in age, office, power, knowledge, or excellence [6, 7]. Charles Hodge notes that the general principle is to act in a becoming manner towards all superiors, with the specific conduct modified by the degree and nature of that superiority [7].
The theological significance of the Fifth Commandment is profound. Jewish tradition, as articulated by Nachmanides (Ramban), views the father as akin to a creator, being a partner with God in the formation of the child [11]. This perspective highlights the sacred role of parents as representatives of divine authority [10]. The command to fear parents, as mentioned in Leviticus 19:3, is understood not as servile dread but as a filial fear, intertwined with love and affection, and includes an inward esteem and outward respect [12].
The Fifth Commandment is often considered the first of the "second table" of the Law, which concerns duties owed to fellow human beings, following the commands related to duty towards God [5, 6]. Matthew Henry describes these as laws comprehending our duty to ourselves and one another, forming a commentary on the command to "love your neighbor as yourself" [5]. Thus, righteousness towards others is seen as an essential branch of true religion, with godliness and honesty going hand in hand [5].
The importance of parental authority is deeply rooted in biblical understanding. The position and authority of the father as the head of the family are expressly sanctioned in Scripture, reflecting the authority of God over His creatures [4]. The father's blessing was believed to confer special benefit, and his malediction, special injury [4]. This patriarchal structure was foundational to early Israelite society [4]. The duty of parents, in turn, includes loving their children, bringing them to Christ, training them for God, instructing them in God's word, and providing for them [2]. Children who observe God's law and obey their parents are promised blessings and are said to make their parents' hearts glad [3].
Sources
- Deuteronomy “Deuteronomy 5:16 (BSB) — Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God has commanded you, so that your days may be long and that it may go well with you in the land that the LORD your God is giving you.”
- Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Parents — Receive their children from God -- Ge 33:5; 1Sa 1:27; Ps 127:3. Their duty to their children is To love them. -- Tit 2:4. To bring them to Christ. -- Mt 19:13,14. To train them up for God. -- Pr 22:6; Eph 6:4. To instruct them in God's word. -- De 4:9; 11:19; Isa 38:19. To tell them of God's judgments. -- Joe 1:3. To tell them of the miraculous works of God. -- Ex 10:2; Ps 78:4. To command them to obey God. -- De 32:46; 1Ch 28:9. To bless them. -- Ge 48:15; Heb 11:20. To pity them. -- Ps 103:13. To provide for them. -- Job 42:15; 2Co 12:14; 1Ti 5:8. To rule”
- Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Children, Good — The Lord is with -- 1Sa 3:19. Know the Scriptures -- 2Ti 3:15. Observe the law of God -- Pr 28:7. Their obedience to parents is well pleasing to God -- Col 3:20. Partake of the promises of God -- Ac 2:39. Shall be blessed -- Pr 3:1-4; Eph 6:2,3. Show love to parents -- Ge 46:29. Obey parents -- Ge 28:7; 47:30. Attend to parental teaching -- Pr 13:1. Take care of parents -- Ge 45:9,11; 47:12. Make their parents' hearts glad -- Pr 10:1; 29:17. Honour the aged -- Job 32:6,7. Adduced as a motive for submission to God -- Heb 12:9. Spirit of, a requisite f”
- Smith's Bible Dictionary “Smith's Bible Dictionary: Father — The position and authority of the father as the head of the family are expressly assumed and sanctioned in Scripture, as a likeness of that of the Almighty over his creatures. It lies of course at the root of that so-called patriarchal government, (Genesis 3:16; 1 Corinthians 11:3) which was introductory to the more definite systems which followed, and which in part, but not wholly, superseded it. The father's blessing was regarded as conferring special benefit, but his malediction special injury, on those on whom it fell, (Genesis 9:25,27; 27:27-40; 48:15,20”
- Exodus (Nonconformist/Puritan) “Matthew Henry on Exodus 20:12: We have here the laws of the second table, as they are commonly called, the last six of the ten commandments, comprehending our duty to ourselves and to one another, and constituting a comment upon the second great commandment, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. As religion towards God is an essential branch of universal righteousness, so righteousness towards men is an essential branch of true religion. Godliness and honesty must go together. I. The fifth commandment concerns the duties we owe to our relations; those of children to their parents are alone”
- Exodus (Baptist/Reformed) “John Gill on Exodus 20:12: Honour thy father and thy mother, &c. Which is the fifth commandment of the decalogue, but is the first commandment with promise, as the apostle says, Eph 6:2 and is the first of the second table: this, though it may be extended to all ancestors in the ascending line, as father's father and mother, mother's father and mother, &c. and to all such who are in the room of parents, as step-fathers and step-mothers, guardians, nurses, &c. and to all superiors in dignity and office, to kings and governors, to masters, ministers, and magistrates; yet chiefly respects immedia”
- CCEL (Reformed (Old Princeton)) “Charles Hodge, Systematic Theology, Vol. 3, section 47: § 9. The Fifth Commandment. Its Design. The general principle of duty enjoined in this commandment, is that we should feel and act in a becoming manner towards our superiors. It matters not in what their superiority consists, whether in age, office, power, knowledge, or excellence. There are certain feelings, and a certain line of conduct due to those who are over us, for that very reason, determined and modified in each case by the degree and nature of that superiority. To superiors are due, to each according to the relation in which he ”
- Ephesians (Baptist/Reformed) “John Gill on Ephesians 6:2: Honour thy father and mother,.... This explains who parents are, and points at some branches of obedience due unto them; for they are not only to be loved, and to be feared, and reverenced, their corrections to be submitted to, offences against them to be acknowledged, their tempers to be bore with, and their infirmities covered; but they are to be honoured in thought, word, and gesture; they are to be highly thought of and esteemed; they are to be spoken to, and of, very honourably, and with great veneration and to be behaved to in a very respectful manner; and the”
- Schaff ANF/NPNF (Patristic) “ANF Vol 9: Gospel of Peter, Diatessaron, Origen's Commentaries — 9. EXPLANATION OF "CORBAN." (part 1): Jesus, however, does not accuse them with reference to a tradition of the Jewish elders, but with regard to two most imperative commandments of God, the one of which was the fifth in the decalogue, being as follows: "Honour thy father and thy mother, that it may be well with thee, and that thy days may be long on the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee;"(4) and the other was written thus in Leviticus, "If a man speak evil of his father or his mother, let him die the death; he has spoken e”
- Deuteronomy (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Deuteronomy 5:16: 5:16-20 Jesus quoted these five commands in response to the question, “What must I do to inherit eternal life?” (Matt 19:17-19; Mark 10:19; Luke 18:20). 5:16 Honor: Since parents are representatives of divine authority, children are to recognize them as worthy of obedience and great respect (cp. Eph 6:1-3).”
- Sefaria (Jewish (Kabbalistic/Philosophical)) “Ramban (Nachmanides) on Exodus 20:12: HONOR THY FATHER. Having finished all that we are obligated towards the Creator Himself and His glory, He turns now to command us about those matters which concern created beings. He begins with the father, for in relation to his offspring, he is akin to a creator, being partner with Him in the forming of the child. 471 Kiddushin 30 b: “There are three partners in man: the Holy One, blessed be He, his father and his mother.” G-d is our first Father, and he who begets it [i.e., the child] is our last male parent. This is why He said in the Book of Deuterono”
- Leviticus (Baptist/Reformed) “John Gill on Leviticus 19:3: Ye shall fear every man his mother and his father,.... This has respect to the fifth command, which is the first with promise, and is here referred to first, because a man has his beginning in the world from his parents, and by them he is trained up in the observance of all the other laws of God, equally to be respected; and the fear of them is not servile, but filial, joined with love and affection to them, and includes an inward esteem and reverence of them, an outward respect unto them, a readiness to obey their commands, and giving due and equal honour unto the”