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Finding God's Help in Abusive Marriage Situations

The Bible presents God as a refuge and source of strength for those experiencing affliction and oppression, including those in abusive situations [2]. Scripture indicates that God is attentive to the cries of the suffering and intervenes on their behalf [5, 6, 7].

Prayer is a primary means by which individuals can seek God's help in times of trouble. The book of James encourages prayer during affliction (James 5:13) [1]. Specific prayers can include asking God to consider one's trouble (2 Kings 19:16; Nehemiah 9:32; Psalm 9:13; Lamentations 5:1), for His presence and support (Psalm 10:1; 102:2), for divine comfort (Psalm 4:6; 119:76), for mitigation of troubles (Psalm 39:12-13), and for deliverance (Psalm 25:17, 22; 39:10; Isaiah 64:9-12; Jeremiah 17:14) [1]. The name Eliezer, meaning "help of my God," reflects this understanding of divine assistance [9].

God's character is consistently portrayed as one who defends the vulnerable. He is described as a helper of the victim and the fatherless (Psalm 10:14) [5, 6]. He hears the cry of the fatherless and the widow (Exodus 22:23) and executes judgment for them (Deuteronomy 10:18; Psalm 68:5) [6, 7]. Those who oppress the vulnerable, including the fatherless and widows, face God's judgment (Exodus 22:24; Isaiah 10:1-3; Malachi 3:5) [6, 7]. This divine concern extends to all forms of oppression, which is recognized as rampant in society, affecting families, workplaces, and governments (Ecclesiastes 4:1) [15].

In the context of marriage, the Bible uses the marital relationship as a symbol for the covenant between God and His people (Isaiah 54:1-8; Ephesians 5:22-33; Ezekiel 23:4) [13, 14]. Adultery, in this symbolic language, represents spiritual unfaithfulness (Hosea 1–3) [13, 14]. While God's desire is for reconciliation, as seen in Hosea's message to Israel (Hosea 2:2-23), the law also addressed the dissolution of marriage [11]. The Mosaic law regulated divorce (Deuteronomy 24:1-4), and Christ later limited the grounds for divorce to adultery (Matthew 5:31-32; 19:1-9; Mark 10:2-12; Luke 16:18) [8]. This indicates that while marriage is honored, there are circumstances where its dissolution is recognized.

God is a witness in marital covenants (Genesis 31:50) [3], and He will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers (Hebrews 13:4) [4]. This underscores the seriousness with which God views marital fidelity and the sanctity of the marriage bed. When abuse occurs, it violates the honor of marriage and the well-being of the individuals involved.

The biblical narrative consistently shows God saving His people from external evils and delivering the pious (Deuteronomy 20:4; Judges 3:9; Psalm 28:9; Jeremiah 17:14) [10]. Even when evil is pervasive, the godly can pray for rescue, trusting that God protects them (Psalm 12:1-4) [12]. God calls for an end to words and actions that destroy relationships (Proverbs 6:12-14; Isaiah 58:9) [16]. Those who are afflicted are encouraged to imitate Christ, who supports and comforts them (Hebrews 12:1-3; 2 Timothy 4:17; Hebrews 2:18; Matthew 11:28-30) [2].

Sources

  1. Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Affliction, Prayer Under — Exhortation to -- Jas 5:13. That God would consider our trouble -- 2Ki 19:16; Ne 9:32; Ps 9:13; La 5:1. For the presence and support of God -- Ps 10:1; 102:2. That the Holy Spirit may not be withdrawn -- Ps 51:11. For divine comfort -- Ps 4:6; 119:76. For mitigation of troubles -- Ps 39:12,13. For deliverance -- Ps 25:17,22; 39:10; Isa 64:9-12; Jer 17:14. For pardon and deliverance from sin -- Ps 39:8; 51:1; 79:8. That we may be turned to God -- Ps 80:7; 85:4-6; Jer 31:18. For divine teaching and direction -- Job 34:32; Ps 27:11; 143:10. Fo”
  2. Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Afflicted Saints — God is with -- Ps 46:5,7; Isa 43:2. God is a refuge and strength to -- Ps 27:5,6; Isa 25:4; Jer 16:19; Na 1:7. God comforts -- Isa 49:13; Jer 31:13; Mt 5:4; 2Co 1:4,5; 7:6. God preserves -- Ps 34:20. God delivers -- Ps 34:4,19; Pr 12:13; Jer 39:17,18. Christ is with -- Joh 14:18. Christ supports -- 2Ti 4:17; Heb 2:18. Christ comforts -- Isa 61:2; Mt 11:28-30; Lu 7:13; Joh 14:1; 16:33. Christ preserves -- Isa 63:9; Lu 21:18. Christ delivers -- Re 3:10. Should praise God -- Ps 13:5,6; 56:8-10; 57:6,7; 71:20-23. Should imitate Christ -- Heb 12:1-3; 1P”
  3. Genesis “Genesis 31:50 (BSB) — If you mistreat my daughters or take other wives, although no one is with us, remember that God is a witness between you and me.””
  4. Hebrews “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled: but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers. -- Hebrews 13:4”
  5. Psalms “But you do see trouble and grief. You consider it to take it into your hand. You help the victim and the fatherless. -- Psalms 10:14”
  6. Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Fatherless — Find mercy in God -- Ho 14:3. God will Be a father of. -- Ps 68:5. Be a helper of. -- Ps 10:14. Hear the cry of. -- Ex 22:23. Execute the judgment of. -- De 10:18; Ps 10:18. Punish those who oppress. -- Ex 22:24; Isa 10:1-3; Mal 3:5. Punish those who judge not. -- Jer 5:28,29. Visit in affliction -- Jas 1:27. Let them share in our blessings -- De 14:29. Defend -- Ps 82:3; Isa 1:17. Wrong not, in judgment -- De 24:17. Defraud not -- Pr 23:10. Afflict not -- Ex 22:22. Oppress not -- Zec 7:10. Do no violence to -- Jer 22:3. Blessedness of taking care of -- ”
  7. Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Widows — Character of true -- Lu 2:37; 1Ti 5:5,10. God Surely hears the cry of. -- Ex 22:23. Judges for. -- De 10:18; Ps 68:5. Relieves. -- Ps 146:9. Establishes the border of. -- Pr 15:25. Will witness against oppressors of. -- Mal 3:5. Exhorted to trust in God -- Jer 49:11. Should not be Afflicted. -- Ex 22:22. Oppressed. -- Jer 7:6; Zec 7:10. Treated with violence. -- Jer 22:3. Deprived of raiment in pledge. -- De 24:17. Should be Pleaded for. -- Isa 1:17. Honoured, if widows indeed. -- 1Ti 5:3. Relieved by their friends. -- 1Ti 5:4,16. Relieved by the Church. -- ”
  8. Easton's Bible Dictionary “Easton's Bible Dictionary: Divorce — The dissolution of the marriage tie was regulated by the Mosaic law (Deut. 24:1-4). The Jews, after the Captivity, were reguired to dismiss the foreign women they had married contrary to the law (Ezra 10:11-19). Christ limited the permission of divorce to the single case of adultery. It seems that it was not uncommon for the Jews at that time to dissolve the union on very slight pretences (Matt. 5:31, 32; 19:1-9; Mark 10:2-12; Luke 16:18). These precepts given by Christ regulate the law of divorce in the Christian Church.”
  9. Hitchcock's Bible Names “Hitchcock's Bible Names: Eliezer — help, or court, of my God”
  10. Brown-Driver-Briggs “[BDB H3467] yasha (part 4/5) — of God, who saves his people from external evils Deut 20:4; Josh 22:22; Judg 3:9; 6:36-37, 7:7; 10:13; 1Sam 14:23, 39; 2Kin 14:27; 19:34 = Isa 37:35; 25:9; 33:22; 35:4; 43:12; 49:25; 63:9; Jer 31:7; Ezek 34:22; Hosea 1:7 (twice in verse); Hab 1:2; Zeph 3:17, 19; Zech 8:7, 13; 9:16; 10:6; 12:7; Psa 28:9; 69:36; 106:8; 118:25; 2Chr 20:9; or the pious among them Isa 38:20; Jer 2:27; 17:14; Psa 3:8; 6:5; 7:2; 31:17; 54:3; 55:17; 57:4; 69:2; 71:2; 71:3; 106:47 = 1Chr 16:35; Psa 109:26; 119:94; 119:146; 138:7; Prov 20:22; and especially the king Psa 20:7; Psalm 20:10; ”
  11. Hosea (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Hosea 2:2: 2:2-23 bring charges against Israel: At first glance, the Lord, as the aggrieved husband, appears to be issuing a bill of divorce against his unfaithful spouse, Israel (see Deut 24:1). As the passage continues, however, it becomes clear that God’s purpose in this lawsuit is not divorce, but reconciliation (Hos 2:14-23). God’s case against Israel is intended to awaken Israel to her sin and offer her a chance to return to her true husband. The Lord’s desire for reconciliation with Israel is all the more surprising inasmuch as the law stipulated the death penalty for a”
  12. Psalms (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Psalms 12:1: Ps 12 This community lament seeks the Lord’s help against the prevalence of evil. Because of the Lord’s answer, the godly can face the future knowing that God protects them. 12:1-4 Evil becomes so pervasive that the godly pray for rescue (Isa 57:1; Mic 7:2; cp. Pss 1:6; 37:20; 58:7; 104:35).”
  13. Ezek (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Ezek 23:4: 23:4 Marriage is commonly used in the Bible as a symbol for the covenant relationship between God and his people (e.g., Isa 54:1-8; Eph 5:22-33). Adultery symbolizes Israel’s spiritual unfaithfulness (e.g., Hos 1–3). God makes his covenants in spite of, not because of, his people’s character (Rom 5:6-11).”
  14. Ezekiel (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Ezekiel 23:4: 23:4 Marriage is commonly used in the Bible as a symbol for the covenant relationship between God and his people (e.g., Isa 54:1-8; Eph 5:22-33). Adultery symbolizes Israel’s spiritual unfaithfulness (e.g., Hos 1–3). God makes his covenants in spite of, not because of, his people’s character (Rom 5:6-11).”
  15. Ecclesiastes (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Ecclesiastes 4:1: 4:1 all the oppression: Abuse is rampant at many levels in society—in family, religion, the workplace, government, and foreign powers.”
  16. Isaiah (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Isaiah 58:9: 58:9 the Lord will answer: Cp. 1:15; see also 19:22. • Stop . . . spreading vicious rumors: God calls for an end to acts and words that destroy relationships (see Prov 6:12-14).”
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