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Forgiving Without Excusing or Minimizing in Christian Relationships

Christian forgiveness involves pardoning offenses without minimizing the harm caused or excusing the wrongdoer's actions. This concept is rooted in biblical teachings that emphasize both the gravity of sin and the boundless nature of divine and human forgiveness [1, 4].

The New Testament frequently calls believers to forgive others, mirroring God's forgiveness of humanity. Colossians 3:13 instructs believers to be "bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, if any man has a complaint against any; even as Christ forgave you, so you also do" [1]. Similarly, 1 Peter 4:8 states that "in love there is forgiveness for sins without number" [2]. This command for unlimited forgiveness is also found in Jesus's teaching in Matthew 18:22 and Luke 17:4 [4].

Forgiveness in a Christian context does not imply that the offense was insignificant or that the consequences of the action are erased. Instead, it is a deliberate act of releasing resentment and the desire for retribution against the offender [4]. Adam Clarke, in his commentary on Colossians 3:13, explains that "forgiving one another" means being "instantly ready to forgive on the first acknowledgment of the fault." He clarifies that while one should not harbor ill will, the offended party is not called to actually forgive until the offender acknowledges their fault [10]. This perspective suggests that while the readiness to forgive is constant, the act of forgiveness often involves a response to the offender's repentance.

The Bible consistently portrays sin as a serious matter. All human beings are considered born sinners, and while the godly fight against their sinful nature, the wicked indulge it [8]. Sin is described as "all sorts of sinful acts" [9], and deliberate sins are committed with an "insolent or arrogant attitude" [12]. The first sin of Adam and Eve is characterized as "heinous and aggravated," involving a "love of self, dishonor to God, ingratitude to a benefactor, disobedience to the best of Masters—a preference of the creature to the Creator" [11]. God's anger is depicted as a "holy God’s necessary response to sin" [13]. Therefore, true forgiveness acknowledges the reality and severity of the wrong committed, rather than pretending it did not happen or was not harmful.

Forgiveness is distinct from justification and pardon, though related. Justification is a "forensic term, opposed to condemnation," where God pardons sins and accounts believers as righteous, satisfying the law's demands [5]. Pardon, a component of justification, is God's act of absolving the sinner from the law's condemnation, removing the guilt of sin through Christ's work [7]. While God's pardon is freely offered through Christ's blood [6], human forgiveness, while commanded, often involves a process that respects the reality of the offense.

The early church fathers also emphasized the importance of forgiveness. John Chrysostom, for instance, highlights that not bearing malice and forgiving all trespasses is crucial, citing passages like "Man retaineth wrath against man, and yet seeketh healing from the Lord" (Ecclus. 28:3) and "Forgive that ye may be forgiven" (Mark 11:25) [15]. He also encourages imitation of God's forgiveness in Christ, urging believers to "walk in love, even as Christ also loved you, and gave Himself up for us" [14]. This imitation involves a tender-hearted approach to others, recognizing the profound example set by Christ's sacrifice.

Reconciliation, closely related to forgiveness, signifies a change from enmity to friendship, which is mutual [3]. In the context of humanity's relationship with God, reconciliation involves a change in the sinner's character, moving from enmity to full confidence and love for God [3]. In human relationships, while forgiveness can be a unilateral act of releasing bitterness, full reconciliation often requires a reciprocal movement from both parties. The act of forgiving, therefore, does not necessarily mean forgetting the offense or immediately restoring trust, but rather releasing the burden of anger and resentment, while still acknowledging the impact of the wrong.

Sources

  1. Colossians “bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, if any man has a complaint against any; even as Christ forgave you, so you also do. -- Colossians 3:13”
  2. I Peter “I Peter 4:8 (BBE) — And most of all be warm in your love for one another; because in love there is forgiveness for sins without number:”
  3. Easton's Bible Dictionary “Easton's Bible Dictionary: Reconcilation — A change from enmity to friendship. It is mutual, i.e., it is a change wrought in both parties who have been at enmity. (1.) In Col. 1:21, 22, the word there used refers to a change wrought in the personal character of the sinner who ceases to be an enemy to God by wicked works, and yields up to him his full confidence and love. In 2 Cor. 5:20 the apostle beseeches the Corinthians to be "reconciled to God", i.e., to lay aside their enmity. (2.) Rom. 5:10 refers not to any change in our disposition toward God, but to God himself, as the party reconcile”
  4. Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Forgiveness of Injuries — Christ set an example of -- Lu 23:34. Commanded -- Mr 11:25; Ro 12:19. To be unlimited -- Mt 18:22; Lu 17:4. A characteristic of saints -- Ps 7:4. Motives to The mercy of God. -- Lu 6:36. Our need of forgiveness. -- Mr 11:25. God's forgiveness of us. -- Eph 4:32. Christ's forgiveness of us. -- Col 3:13. A glory to saints -- Pr 19:11. Should be accompanied by Forbearance. -- Col 3:13. Kindness. -- Ge 45:5-11; Ro 12:20. Blessing and prayer. -- Mt 5:44. Promises to -- Mt 6:14; Lu 6:37. No forgiveness without -- Mt 6:15; Jas 2:13. Illustrated --”
  5. Easton's Bible Dictionary “Easton's Bible Dictionary: Justification — A forensic term, opposed to condemnation. As regards its nature, it is the judicial act of God, by which he pardons all the sins of those who believe in Christ, and accounts, accepts, and treats them as righteous in the eye of the law, i.e., as conformed to all its demands. In addition to the pardon (q.v.) of sin, justification declares that all the claims of the law are satisfied in respect of the justified. It is the act of a judge and not of a sovereign. The law is not relaxed or set aside, but is declared to be fulfilled in the strictest sense; an”
  6. Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Pardon — Promised -- Isa 1:18; Jer 31:34; Heb 8:12; Jer 50:20. None without shedding of blood -- Le 17:11; Heb 9:22. Legal sacrifices, ineffectual for -- Heb 10:4. Outward purifications, ineffectual for -- Job 9:30,31; Jer 2:22. The blood of Christ, alone, is efficacious for -- Zec 13:1; 1Jo 1:7. Is granted By God alone. -- Da 9:9; Mr 2:7. By Christ. -- Mr 2:5; Lu 7:48. Through Christ. -- Lu 1:69,77; Ac 5:31; 13:38. Through the blood of Christ. -- Mt 26:28; Ro 3:25; Col 1:14. For the name's sake of Christ. -- 1Jo 2:12. According to the riches of grace. -- Eph 1:7. On”
  7. Easton's Bible Dictionary “Easton's Bible Dictionary: Forgiveness of sin — One of the constituent parts of justification. In pardoning sin, God absolves the sinner from the condemnation of the law, and that on account of the work of Christ, i.e., he removes the guilt of sin, or the sinner's actual liability to eternal wrath on account of it. All sins are forgiven freely (Acts 5:31; 13:38; 1 John 1:6-9). The sinner is by this act of grace for ever freed from the guilt and penalty of his sins. This is the peculiar prerogative of God (Ps. 130:4; Mark 2:5). It is offered to all in the gospel. (See [219]JUSTIFICATION.)”
  8. Psalms (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Psalms 58:3: 58:3 All human beings are born sinners (see 51:5); however, whereas the wicked indulge their sinful nature, the godly fight against it (Rom 7:19-23; Jas 4:1-10).”
  9. Proverbs (Presbyterian) “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown on Proverbs 30:8: vanity--all sorts of sinful acts (Job 11:11; Isa 5:18).”
  10. Colossians (Methodist/Wesleyan) “Adam Clarke on Colossians 3:13: Forbearing one another - Avoid all occasions of irritating or provoking each other. Forgiving one another - If ye receive offense, be instantly ready to forgive on the first acknowledgment of the fault. Even as Christ forgave you - Who required no satisfaction, and sought for nothing in you but the broken, contrite heart, and freely forgave you as soon as you returned to Him. No man should for a moment harbour ill will in his heart to any; but the offended party is not called actually to forgive, till the offender, with sorrow, acknowledges his fault. He should ”
  11. Genesis (Presbyterian) “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown on Genesis 3:13: beguiled--cajoled by flattering lies. This sin of the first pair was heinous and aggravated--it was not simply eating an apple, but a love of self, dishonor to God, ingratitude to a benefactor, disobedience to the best of Masters--a preference of the creature to the Creator.”
  12. Psalms (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Psalms 19:13: 19:13 An individual who commits deliberate sins does so with an insolent (86:14) or arrogant (119:21, 69) attitude. • The great sin is rebellion (see 32:1).”
  13. Romans (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Romans 1:18: 1:18–3:20 Paul delays exploring the theme of righteousness through faith (see 3:21) until after he first teaches about universal sinfulness. Gentiles (1:18-32) and Jews (2:1–3:8) are equally under sin’s power and cannot find favor with God by any action of their own (3:9-20). 1:18 God’s anger is not a spontaneous emotional outburst, but the holy God’s necessary response to sin. The Old Testament often depicts God’s anger (Exod 32:10-12; Num 11:1; Jer 21:3-7) and predicts a decisive outpouring of God’s wrath on human sin at the end of history. While Paul usually de”
  14. CCEL/NPNF (Eastern Orthodox) “John Chrysostom, Homilies on Galatians–Colossians–Thessalonians: Homily XVII. Ephesians iv. 32 and v. 1, 2 “And be ye kind one to another, tender hearted, forgiving each other, even as God also in Christ forgave you. Be ye therefore imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, even as Christ also loved you, and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for an odor of a sweet smell.” The events which are past have greater force than those which are yet to come, and appear to be both more wonderful and more convincing. And hence accordingly Paul founds his exhortatio”
  15. CCEL/NPNF (Eastern Orthodox) “John Chrysostom, Homilies on John & Hebrews: one, not bearing malice; the forgiving all their trespasses. For, it is said, “Man retaineth wrath against man, and yet seeketh healing from the Lord.” ( Ecclus. xxviii. 3 .) “Forgive that ye may be forgiven.” ( Mark xi. 25 .) Also, the converting our brethren from their wandering. For, it is said, 2888 2888 This seems to be an expression of the doctrine of James v. 19, 20 , partially in the language of our Lord, Luke xxii. 33 . [Cf. Acts iii. 19 .] “Go thou, and convert thy brethren, that thy sins may be forgiven thee.” And from one’s being in clos”
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