Friendships with Non-Christians and Social Outings
Christian teaching on friendships and social interactions with non-Christians presents a nuanced perspective, balancing the command to engage with the world with warnings against negative influences. The Apostle Paul instructs that a church leader "must have a good reputation with those outside the church, so that he will not fall into reproach and the snare of the devil" (1 Timothy 3:7 NASB) [1]. This implies a necessary level of interaction and a concern for how Christians are perceived by those who do not share their faith.
However, this engagement is not without boundaries. The apostle Paul also warns, "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers" (2 Corinthians 6:13) [5]. John Gill interprets this not as a prohibition against all civil society and converse with unbelievers, which he notes would be "impracticable" and require believers to "go out of the world." Instead, he suggests that such interactions are often "lawful and laudable, especially when there is any opportunity or likelihood of doing them any service in a spiritual way" [5]. The concern, therefore, is not merely about association but about the nature and depth of the "yoke," implying a caution against partnerships or intimate alliances that could compromise one's faith or spiritual walk.
The concept of hospitality is frequently emphasized in Christian teaching, often extending to strangers and those in need, regardless of their faith. The Epistle to the Hebrews encourages believers not to "forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it" (Hebrews 13:2) [3]. Jamieson, Fausset & Brown note that this was a recognized duty among Christians, even observed by their enemies [3]. Similarly, 1 Peter exhorts believers to "use hospitality" (1 Peter 4:9), which John Gill interprets as being "lovers of strangers," particularly those who are good people forced to leave their homes for religious reasons or other providential circumstances [6]. This hospitality should be offered "without grudging" or "murmuring," but with "open-hearted sincerity" and "cordiality," not secretly speaking against the guest or upbraiding them [2].
While Christians are called to interact with "those without" (Colossians 4:5), meaning those outside the Christian brotherhood, they are also advised to do so "in wisdom" and with "practical Christian prudence" [7]. The Jamieson, Fausset & Brown commentary on Colossians 4:5 suggests that while brethren might make allowances for an indiscreet act, "the world will make none." Therefore, Christians should be more on guard in their interactions with non-believers "lest you be a stumbling-block to their conversion" [7]. This implies a strategic approach to social engagement, where the believer's conduct serves as a witness rather than a hindrance to the gospel.
Historically, there were instances where certain groups, like the Jews, practiced limited social fellowship with those of other nations, not due to an express prohibition but because intimate social fellowship was seen as "adverse to the spirit of the law" [4]. However, the New Testament generally encourages a more outward-looking approach, while still maintaining spiritual discernment. The idea of "friendship" itself is recognized in the New Testament, though often subsumed under the higher titles of "brother" or "brethren" [8]. Christ himself acknowledged the relation of friend, based on obedience to Him from love, which grants "admission to the intimacy of the holy and glorious God, and sympathizing Saviour" [8]. This suggests that while deep spiritual intimacy is reserved for those who share faith, other forms of friendship and social interaction are permissible and even encouraged, provided they are conducted with wisdom and do not compromise one's Christian walk.
Sources
- 1 Timothy “1 Timothy 3:7 (NASB) — And he must have a good reputation with those outside the church, so that he will not fall into reproach and the snare of the devil.”
- 1 Peter (Presbyterian) “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown on 1 Peter 4:9: (Rom 12:13; Heb 13:2.) Not the spurious hospitality which passes current in the world, but the entertaining of those needing it, especially those exiled for the faith, as the representatives of Christ, and all hospitality to whomsoever exercised from genuine Christian love. without grudging--Greek, "murmuring." "He that giveth, let him do it with simplicity," that is open-hearted sincerity; with cordiality. Not secretly speaking against the person whom we entertain, or upbraiding him with the favor we have conferred in him.”
- Hebrews (Presbyterian) “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown on Hebrews 13:7: Two manifestations of "brotherly love," hospitality and care for those in bonds. Be not forgetful--implying it was a duty which they all recognized, but which they might forget to act on (Heb 13:3, Heb 13:7, Heb 13:16). The enemies of Christianity themselves have noticed the practice of this virtue among Christians [JULIAN, Epistles, 49]. entertained angels unawares--Abraham and Lot did so (Gen 18:2; Gen 19:1). To obviate the natural distrust felt of strangers, Paul says, an unknown guest may be better than he looks: he may be unexpectedly found t”
- Acts (Presbyterian) “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown on Acts 10:28: Ye know it is . . . unlawful . . . for . . . a Jew to keep company, or come unto one of another nation, &c.--There was no express prohibition to this effect, and to a Certain extent intercourse was certainly kept up. (See the Gospel history, towards the end). But intimate social fellowship was not practiced, as being adverse to the spirit of the law.”
- 2 Corinthians (Baptist/Reformed) “John Gill on 2 Corinthians 6:13: Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers,.... This seems to be an allusion to the law in Deu 22:10 and to be a mystical explanation of it; and is to be understood not as forbidding civil society and converse with unbelievers; for this is impracticable, then must believers needs go out of the world; this the many natural and civil relations subsisting among men make absolutely necessary; and in many cases is both lawful and laudable, especially when there is any opportunity or likelihood of doing them any service in a spiritual way: not is it to be un”
- 1 Peter (Baptist/Reformed) “John Gill on 1 Peter 4:9: Use hospitality,.... Or, "be lovers of strangers", as the phrase may be rendered, and as it is in the Syriac version; that is, such as are of a distant country, or come from afar, and are unknown by face, especially good men, that are obliged to remove from their native country for the sake of religion, or by one providence or another; and these are to be loved: and love is to be shown them, both negatively, by not vexing them, and making them uneasy in body or mind; by not oppressing them by violence and injustice, and making any exorbitant demands upon them; or by n”
- Colossians (Presbyterian) “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown on Colossians 4:5: (See on Eph 5:15-16.) in wisdom--practical Christian prudence. them . . . without--Those not in the Christian brotherhood (Co1 5:12; Th1 4:12). The brethren, through love, will make allowances for an indiscreet act or word of a brother; the world will make none. Therefore be the more on your guard in your intercourse with the latter, lest you be a stumbling-block to their conversion. redeeming the time--The Greek expresses, buying up for yourselves, and buying off from worldly vanities the opportunity, whenever it is afforded you, of good to y”
- 3 John (Presbyterian) “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown on 3 John 1:14: face to face--Greek, "mouth to mouth." Peace--peace inward of conscience, peace fraternal of friendship, peace supernal of glory [LYRA]. friends--a title seldom used in the New Testament, as it is absorbed in the higher titles of "brother, brethren." Still Christ recognizes the relation of friend also, based on the highest grounds, obedience to Him from love, and entailing the highest privileges, admission to the intimacy of the holy and glorious God, and sympathizing Saviour; so Christians have "friends" in Christ. Here in a friendly letter, menti”