Grieving Loved Ones in the Presence of God
Grief, a profound human experience, is frequently addressed in biblical texts, often in the context of God's presence and the believer's relationship with the divine. The Scriptures portray various forms of mourning, including sorrow for the dead, lamentation over calamities, and penitential grief [8]. The presence of God is not depicted as a barrier to expressing sorrow, but rather as a context in which grief can be openly experienced and expressed.
The Psalms, in particular, offer numerous examples of individuals expressing deep sorrow and distress directly to God. The psalmist cries out, "My eyes are dim from grief. I have called on you daily, Yahweh. I have spread out my hands to you" [1]. This demonstrates a direct address to God, a form of prayer that involves "intercourse of the soul with God" [4]. Such expressions highlight that believers are encouraged to bring their full emotional state, including their grief, into God's presence. Another psalmist expresses a longing for God's presence amidst spiritual thirst, stating, "My soul thirsts for God, the living God. When shall I come and appear in God’s presence?" [2]. This indicates that even in states of yearning or distress, the desire for God's presence remains central.
The concept of being "in the presence of God" carries multiple layers of meaning in the biblical tradition. It can refer to a direct, intimate relationship with the divine, as seen in prayer [4]. It can also denote a more formal, communal worship setting, such as when believers gather for solemn assemblies [13]. John Gill, in his commentary on Psalm 95:2, interprets "come before his presence with thanksgiving" as an invitation to offer praise to Christ, especially in the context of the Messiah's era when ceremonial sacrifices would cease [11]. This suggests that even communal worship, a form of being in God's presence, is a place for expressing gratitude, which can coexist with or follow periods of grief.
The New Testament further illustrates the integration of grief with faith. The Apostle Peter speaks of bearing grief "because of conscience toward God," even when suffering unjustly [3]. This implies that suffering and sorrow can be endured with an awareness of God, suggesting that God's presence is a constant, even in hardship. The death of saints, while a cause for mourning, is also described in terms of hope and peace in God's sight [7]. For instance, it is said that "God is with them in" death, and that death "leads to Christ's presence" [7]. This perspective allows for grief while simultaneously affirming the ultimate hope found in God.
Jesus himself demonstrated profound empathy and sorrow in the face of grief. Matthew Henry notes Christ's "tender sympathy with his afflicted friends" when he saw Mary weeping for her brother Lazarus, causing him to groan in spirit and be troubled [12]. This portrayal of Christ's emotional response validates human grief and shows that even the divine can experience and acknowledge sorrow. This example provides a model for believers, indicating that expressing grief is not contrary to faith but is a natural human response that Christ himself shared.
The Puritan and Nonconformist traditions, as exemplified by Matthew Henry, emphasize the constancy of affection for Christ even in loss. Mary Magdalene's persistent presence at the sepulchre after Peter and John had left is interpreted as a sign of her unwavering love for Christ, even when she had "lost him" [10]. This illustrates that devotion and attachment to Christ can endure and even intensify in the midst of profound grief, suggesting that the presence of God is a place where such steadfast love is nurtured.
The communal aspect of grieving in God's presence is also significant. The Old Testament records instances of collective mourning for leaders like Aaron and Moses, and for calamities [8]. In the New Testament, "devout men" mourned for Stephen [8]. This communal grieving can occur within the context of religious gatherings or shared spiritual life. John Gill, commenting on Zephaniah 3:18, describes those who are "sorrowful for the solemn assembly" as individuals grieved because they cannot participate in religious worship or access the means of grace [13]. This highlights that the inability to be in God's communal presence can itself be a source of sorrow for believers.
The practice of prayer is a primary means by which believers bring their grief into God's presence. Prayer is defined as "direct address" to God, an "intercourse of the soul with God" [4]. The Bible encourages praying for the afflicted, sympathizing with them, pitying them, and comforting them [6]. This suggests that prayer, offered in God's presence, is a vital component of processing grief, both individually and communally. Stephen, while being stoned, kneeled down and cried out to the Lord, asking Him not to charge his persecutors with their sin [14]. This act of prayer in the face of death and immense suffering exemplifies bringing one's deepest anguish and concerns directly before God.
The Lord's Supper, also known as communion or the eucharist, is another significant practice where believers gather in God's presence to remember Christ's sacrifice [5, 9]. While primarily a commemoration of Christ's death and resurrection, it is a moment of profound spiritual reflection that can encompass both joy and sorrow. Jamieson, Fausset & Brown interpret the act of "showing" the Lord's death in communion as a public profession of faith, a "vivid realization, by faith, of Christ in the Lord's Supper, as a living person" [15]. This communal act of remembrance, performed in God's presence, allows believers to reflect on the ultimate sacrifice and the hope it provides, even as they may be grieving personal losses.
Sources
- Psalms “My eyes are dim from grief. I have called on you daily, Yahweh. I have spread out my hands to you. -- Psalms 88:9”
- Psalms “Psalms 42:2 (BSB) — My soul thirsts for God, the living God. When shall I come and appear in God’s presence?”
- I Peter “I Peter 2:19 (LITV) — For this is a grace, if because of conscience toward God anyone bears grief, suffering unjustly.”
- Easton's Bible Dictionary “Easton's Bible Dictionary: Prayer — Is converse with God; the intercourse of the soul with God, not in contemplation or meditation, but in direct address to him. Prayer may be oral or mental, occasional or constant, ejaculatory or formal. It is a "beseeching the Lord" (Ex. 32:11); "pouring out the soul before the Lord" (1 Sam. 1:15); "praying and crying to heaven" (2 Chr. 32:20); "seeking unto God and making supplication" (Job 8:5); "drawing near to God" (Ps. 73:28); "bowing the knees" (Eph. 3:14). Prayer presupposes a belief in the personality of God, his ability and willingness to hold inter”
- Smith's Bible Dictionary “Smith's Bible Dictionary: Lords Supper — The words which thus describe the great central act of the worship of the Christian Church occur but in a single passage of the New Testament-- (1 Corinthians 11:20) + Its institution .--It was instituted on that night when Jesus and his disciples met together to eat the passover, (Matthew 26:19; Mark 14:16; Luke 22:13) (on Thursday evening, April 6, A.D. 30). It was probably instituted at the third cup (the cup of blessing) of the passover [see on [821]Passover], Jesus taking one of the unleavened cakes used at the feast and breaking it and giving it t”
- Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Afflicted, Duty Toward The — To pray for them -- Ac 12:5; Php 1:16,19; Jas 5:14-16. To sympathise with them -- Ro 12:15; Ga 6:2. To pity them -- Job 6:14. To bear them in mind -- Heb 13:3. To visit them -- Jas 1:27. To comfort them -- Job 16:5; 29:25; 2Co 1:4; 1Th 4:18. To relieve them -- Job 31:19,20; Isa 58:10; Php 4:14; 1Ti 5:10. To protect them -- Ps 82:3; Pr 22:22; 31:5.”
- Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Death of Saints, The — A sleep in Christ -- 1Co 15:18; 1Th 4:14. Is blessed -- Re 14:13. Is gain -- Php 1:21. Is full of Faith. -- Heb 11:13. Peace. -- Isa 57:2. Hope. -- Pr 14:32. Sometimes desired -- Lu 2:29. Waited for -- Job 14:14. Met with resignation -- Ge 50:24; Jos 23:14; 1Ki 2:2. Met without fear -- 1Co 15:55. Precious in God's sight -- Ps 116:15. God preserves them to -- Ps 48:14. God is with them in -- Ps 23:4. Removes from coming evil -- 2Ki 22:20; Isa 57:1. Leads to Rest. -- Job 3:17; 2Th 1:7. Comfort. -- Lu 16:25. Christ's presence. -- 2Co 5:8; Php 1:23”
- Easton's Bible Dictionary “Easton's Bible Dictionary: Mourn — Frequent references are found in Scripture to, (1.) Mourning for the dead. Abraham mourned for Sarah (Gen. 23:2); Jacob for Joseph (37:34, 35); the Egyptians for Jacob (50:3-10); Israel for Aaron (Num. 20:29), for Moses (Deut. 34:8), and for Samuel (1 Sam. 25:1); David for Abner (2 Sam. 3:31, 35); Mary and Martha for Lazarus (John 11); devout men for Stephen (Acts 8:2), etc. (2.) For calamities, Job (1:20, 21; 2:8); Israel (Ex. 33:4); the Ninevites (Jonah 3:5); Israel, when defeated by Benjamin (Judg. 20:26), etc. (3.) Penitential mourning, by the Israelites ”
- Easton's Bible Dictionary “Easton's Bible Dictionary: Lord's Supper — (1 Cor. 11:20), called also "the Lord's table" (10:21), "communion," "cup of blessing" (10:16), and "breaking of bread" (Acts 2:42). In the early Church it was called also "eucharist," or giving of thanks (comp. Matt. 26:27), and generally by the Latin Church "mass," a name derived from the formula of dismission, Ite, missa est, i.e., "Go, it is discharged." The account of the institution of this ordinance is given in Matt. 26:26-29, Mark 14:22-25, Luke 22:19, 20, and 1 Cor. 11:24-26. It is not mentioned by John. It was designed, (1.) To commemorate t”
- John (Nonconformist/Puritan) “Matthew Henry on John 20:11: St. Mark tells us that Christ appeared first to Mary Magdalene (Mar 16:9); that appearance is here largely related; and we may observe, I. The constancy and fervency of Mary Magdalene's affection to the Lord Jesus, Joh 20:11. 1. She staid at the sepulchre, when Peter and John were gone, because there her Master had lain, and there she was likeliest to hear some tidings of him. Note, (1.) Where there is a true love to Christ there will be a constant adherence to him, and a resolution with purpose of heart to cleave to him. This good woman, though she has lost him, y”
- Psalms (Baptist/Reformed) “John Gill on Psalms 95:2: Let us come before his presence with thanksgiving,.... Come with the sacrifice of praise, there being no other in the days of the Messiah, all ceremonial sacrifices being put an end to when his sacrifice was offered up; so Arama observes, that the offering of thanksgiving shall remain, or be left in the days of the Messiah; come with this to Christ as a priest, to offer it by him to God his Father, to whom it is acceptable through him, and with this to himself for the great salvation he has wrought out: "to come before his presence", or "face" (b), supposes his being ”
- John (Nonconformist/Puritan) “Matthew Henry on John 11:33: Here we have, I. Christ's tender sympathy with his afflicted friends, and the share he took to himself in their sorrows, which appeared three ways: - 1. By the inward groans and troubles of his spirit (Joh 11:33): Jesus saw Mary weeping for the loss of a loving brother, and the Jews that came with her weeping for the loss of a good neighbour and friend; when he saw what a place of weepers, a bochim, this was, he groaned in the spirit, and was troubled. See here, (1.) The griefs of the sons of men represented in the tears of Mary and her friends. What an emblem was”
- Zephaniah (Baptist/Reformed) “John Gill on Zephaniah 3:18: I will gather [them that are] sorrowful for the solemn assembly Who are grieved and troubled, because they cannot meet at the time and place of religious worship, or attend the word and ordinances of the Lord; either through distance of place, or infirmity of body; or through the menaces and persecutions of men: and to be prevented the use of the means of grace, upon any account, is a great concern of mind to truly gracious souls: or who are filled with grief and sorrow "for the appointed time" F21; for the time of the Jews' deliverance from their present exile, an”
- Acts (Baptist/Reformed) “John Gill on Acts 7:58: And he kneeled down,.... It seems as if he stood before while they were stoning him, and while he was commending his soul to Christ, but now he kneeled down; prayer may be performed either kneeling or standing: and cried with a loud voice; not only to show that he was in good spirits, and not afraid to die, but chiefly to express his vehement and affectionate desire to have the following petition granted: Lord, lay not this sin to their charge: do not impute it to them, or place it to their account; let it not rise and stand in judgment against them, or they be cond”
- 1 Corinthians (Presbyterian) “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown on 1 Corinthians 11:26: For--in proof that the Lord's Supper is "in remembrance" of Him. show--announce publicly. The Greek does not mean to dramatically represent, but "ye publicly profess each of you, the Lord has died FOR ME" [WAHL]. This word, as "is" in Christ's institution (Co1 11:24-25), implies not literal presence, but a vivid realization, by faith, of Christ in the Lord's Supper, as a living person, not a mere abstract dogma, "bone of our bone, and flesh of our flesh" (Eph 5:30; compare Gen 2:23); and ourselves "members of His body, of His flesh, and of Hi”