Honouring One's Mother According to the Bible
The command to honor one's mother appears in the Decalogue: "Honor your father and mother, so that your days may be long in the land that the LORD your God is giving you" [1]. This fifth commandment stands at the hinge between duties toward God and duties toward neighbor, reflecting the parent's unique role in the created order. Nachmanides observes that the father "is akin to a creator, being partner with Him in the forming of the child," and this partnership extends equally to the mother, explaining why honoring parents follows immediately after commands concerning God himself [8].
The Scope of Honor
The Hebrew legislation elevated the status of mothers far above contemporaneous systems. Smith's Bible Dictionary notes "the superiority of the Hebrew over all contemporaneous systems of legislation and of morals" in its treatment of mothers, contrasting sharply with both ancient and modern Oriental practice where mothers held diminished standing [2]. The king's mother, as seen with Bathsheba, received special honor in Israel's court [2]. The law placed mother and father on equal footing: Leviticus 19:3 commands fear of both, and the death penalty applied equally to those who cursed either parent [6].
Honor encompasses far more than respectful address. John Gill explains that children "are to be highly thought of and esteemed; they are to be spoken to, and of, very honourably, and with great veneration and to be behaved to in a very respectful manner" [5]. The command extends to material provision: the requirement to honor includes "providing for them, when in want and distress, through poverty and old age" [6]. Good children "take care of parents" and "make their parents' hearts glad," as Joseph did in providing for his father in Egypt [4].
Theological Context
The commandment bridges the two tables of the law. Tyndale House notes that "many of the stipulations of the covenant with God relate to how people treat each other," a connection of ethical behavior with religious duty unique in the ancient Near East, where pagan law codes "were imposed by a human king and have little to do with religion" [7]. Christ himself exemplified filial honor, remaining subject to his parents and providing for his mother even from the cross [3].
Sources
- Exodus “Exodus 20:12 (BSB) — Honor your father and mother, so that your days may be long in the land that the LORD your God is giving you.”
- Smith's Bible Dictionary “Smith's Bible Dictionary: Mother — The superiority of the Hebrew over all contemporaneous systems of legislation and of morals is strongly shown in the higher estimation of the mother in the Jewish family, as contrasted with modern Oriental as well as ancient Oriental and classical usage. The king's mother, as appears in the case of Bath-sheba, was treated with special honor. (Exodus 20:12; Leviticus 19:3; 5:16; 21:18,21; 1 Kings 2:29; Proverbs 10:1; 15:20; 17:25; 29:15; 31:1,30)”
- Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Children — Christ was an example to -- Lu 2:51; Joh 19:26,27. Are a gift from God -- Ge 33:5; Ps 127:3. Are capable of glorifying God -- Ps 8:2; 148:12,13; Mt 21:15,16. Should be Brought to Christ. -- Mr 10:13-16. Brought early to the house of God. -- 1Sa 1:24. Instructed in the ways of God. -- De 31:12,13; Pr 22:6. Judiciously trained. -- Pr 22:15; 29:17; Eph 6:4. Should Obey God. -- De 30:2. Fear God. -- Pr 24:21. Remember God. -- Ec 12:1. Attend to parental teaching. -- Pr 1:8,9. Honour parents. -- Ex 20:12; Heb 12:9. Fear parents. -- Le 19:3. Obey parents. -- Pr ”
- Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Children, Good — The Lord is with -- 1Sa 3:19. Know the Scriptures -- 2Ti 3:15. Observe the law of God -- Pr 28:7. Their obedience to parents is well pleasing to God -- Col 3:20. Partake of the promises of God -- Ac 2:39. Shall be blessed -- Pr 3:1-4; Eph 6:2,3. Show love to parents -- Ge 46:29. Obey parents -- Ge 28:7; 47:30. Attend to parental teaching -- Pr 13:1. Take care of parents -- Ge 45:9,11; 47:12. Make their parents' hearts glad -- Pr 10:1; 29:17. Honour the aged -- Job 32:6,7. Adduced as a motive for submission to God -- Heb 12:9. Spirit of, a requisite f”
- Ephesians (Baptist/Reformed) “John Gill on Ephesians 6:2: Honour thy father and mother,.... This explains who parents are, and points at some branches of obedience due unto them; for they are not only to be loved, and to be feared, and reverenced, their corrections to be submitted to, offences against them to be acknowledged, their tempers to be bore with, and their infirmities covered; but they are to be honoured in thought, word, and gesture; they are to be highly thought of and esteemed; they are to be spoken to, and of, very honourably, and with great veneration and to be behaved to in a very respectful manner; and the”
- Mark (Baptist/Reformed) “John Gill on Mark 7:10: For Moses said,.... That is, God by Moses; for the following precept was spoken by God, and written by him on one of the tables of stone, and delivered into the hands of Moses, to be given to the children of Israel: honour thy father and thy mother, Exo 20:12, the sanction of which law is, and whoso curseth father or mother, let him die the death, Exo 21:17. As the former of these commands is to be understood, not only of honouring parents in thought, word, and deed, but also of providing for them, when in want and distress, through poverty and old age; so the latte”
- Exodus (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Exodus 20:12: 20:12-17 The remaining six instructions all have to do with human relationships. Many of the stipulations of the covenant with God relate to how people treat each other. This connection of ethical behavior with religious duty is unique in the Old Testament world. There are several ethical law codes known in the ancient Near East, and several of these predate Moses, but all of them are imposed by a human king and have little to do with religion. The pagan gods, meanwhile, were patently unethical and untrustworthy, unlike the God of Israel, whose people worship him”
- Sefaria (Jewish (Kabbalistic/Philosophical)) “Ramban (Nachmanides) on Exodus 20:12: HONOR THY FATHER. Having finished all that we are obligated towards the Creator Himself and His glory, He turns now to command us about those matters which concern created beings. He begins with the father, for in relation to his offspring, he is akin to a creator, being partner with Him in the forming of the child. 471 Kiddushin 30 b: “There are three partners in man: the Holy One, blessed be He, his father and his mother.” G-d is our first Father, and he who begets it [i.e., the child] is our last male parent. This is why He said in the Book of Deuterono”