Leave, Cleave, and Weave in Marriage Relationships
The biblical concept of "leave, cleave, and weave" in marriage originates from Genesis 2:24, which states, "Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh" [6]. This foundational passage is echoed in the New Testament by Jesus in Matthew 19:5 and Mark 10:7, and by the Apostle Paul in Ephesians 5:31 [1, 2, 7]. These texts establish the divine intention for marriage as a unique and fundamental covenant relationship [6].
The command to "leave" signifies a shift in primary loyalty from one's family of origin to the new marital relationship [6]. John Gill, in his commentary on Matthew 19:5, notes that these words, though spoken by Adam, were under divine direction, indicating that future generations would leave their parents to cleave to their spouses [5]. This leaving is not merely physical separation but a reordering of allegiances, establishing the marital bond as paramount [6]. Jamieson, Fausset & Brown emphasize that this is a "divine appointment" for a man to leave his parents and cleave to his wife [7].
To "cleave" (or "hold fast" in some translations) implies a deep commitment, attachment, and loyalty to one's spouse [6]. This commitment is intended to be exclusive and inseparable, forming the most fundamental covenant relationship among humans [6]. The King James Version of Mark 10:7 states, "For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife" [1]. This act of cleaving signifies a permanent bond, intended to last "as long as both are in the flesh" [7].
The culmination of "leaving" and "cleaving" is the "weaving" or becoming "one flesh" (Genesis 2:24; Ephesians 5:31) [2, 6]. This phrase denotes a profound unity—physical, emotional, and spiritual—between husband and wife [6]. Tyndale House's commentary on Genesis 2:24 explains that marriage is designed as an "inseparable, exclusive relationship" [6]. This unity is so profound that it serves as a powerful image of Israel's covenant with God and Christ's relationship with the Church [6]. John Gill on Ephesians 5:32 describes this as a "great mystery," an emblem of the mysterious union between Christ and his people [11].
The permanence implied by "one flesh" is central to the biblical understanding of marriage. Jesus, in Matthew 19:6, states, "So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate." This statement directly addresses the issue of divorce, which was a point of contention among Jewish teachers in Jesus' time [3, 4]. While the Mosaic law regulated divorce (Deuteronomy 24:1-4), Jesus limited its permission to the case of adultery, contrasting with the common practice of dissolving unions on "very slight pretences" [3]. Adam Clarke, commenting on 1 Corinthians 7:10, highlights that Jesus' command against separation reinforces the divine injunction from Genesis 2:24 [8]. The schools of Shammai and Hillel, for instance, differed widely on the grounds for divorce, with Hillel allowing for "trifling causes" [4]. Jesus' teaching, however, upholds the original divine intent for marriage as an indissoluble union [3, 7].
Paul reiterates the principle of marital permanence in 1 Corinthians 7:10, stating, "To the married I give this command—not I but the Lord—that the wife should not separate from her husband" [10]. This command underscores that the marital bond, once formed, is not to be broken by human will [8, 10]. Jamieson, Fausset & Brown on Ephesians 5:31 further clarify that while natural marriage is significant, it also represents the "spiritual marriage" between Christ and the Church, with Christ leaving the Father's bosom to unite with the Church [9]. This spiritual parallel reinforces the sacred and covenantal nature of the marital bond.
Sources
- King James Version “[KJV] Mark 10:7 — For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife;”
- Ephesians “Ephesians 5:31 (ASV) — For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh.”
- Easton's Bible Dictionary “Easton's Bible Dictionary: Divorce — The dissolution of the marriage tie was regulated by the Mosaic law (Deut. 24:1-4). The Jews, after the Captivity, were reguired to dismiss the foreign women they had married contrary to the law (Ezra 10:11-19). Christ limited the permission of divorce to the single case of adultery. It seems that it was not uncommon for the Jews at that time to dissolve the union on very slight pretences (Matt. 5:31, 32; 19:1-9; Mark 10:2-12; Luke 16:18). These precepts given by Christ regulate the law of divorce in the Christian Church.”
- Smith's Bible Dictionary “Smith's Bible Dictionary: Divorce — "a legal dissolution of the marriage relation." The law regulating this subject is found (24:1-4) and the cases in which the right of a husband to divorce his wife was lost are stated ibid ., (22:19,29) The ground of divorce is appoint on which the Jewish doctors of the period of the New Testament differed widely; the school of Shammai seeming to limit it to a moral delinquency in the woman, whilst that the Hillel extended it to trifling causes, e.g., if the wife burnt the food she was cooking for her husband. The Pharisees wished perhaps to embroil our Savi”
- Matthew (Baptist/Reformed) “John Gill on Matthew 19:5: And said,.... Gen 2:24 where they seem to be the words of Adam, though here they are ascribed to God, who made Adam and Eve; and as if they were spoken by him, when he brought them together; and which is easily reconciled by observing, that these words were spoken by Adam, under the direction of a divine revelation; showing, that there would be fathers, and mothers, and children; and that the latter, when grown up, would enter into a marriage state, and leave their parents, and cleave to their proper yoke fellows, which relations then were not in being: this therefor”
- Genesis (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Genesis 2:24: 2:24 Marriage between a man and a woman is not just a human social construct but is rooted in the created order. • a man leaves . . . and is joined: Marriage entails a shift of loyalty from parents to spouse. • the two are united into one: Marriage and its commitments make it the most fundamental covenant relationship observed among humans. Marriage is a powerful image of Israel’s covenant with God (Hos 2:14-23) and of Christ’s relationship to the church (Eph 5:22-32). Marriage is designed as an inseparable, exclusive relationship between a man and a woman. The f”
- Matthew (Presbyterian) “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown on Matthew 19:5: And said, For this cause--to follow out this divine appointment. shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?--Jesus here sends them back to the original constitution of man as one pair, a male and a female; to their marriage, as such, by divine appointment; and to the purpose of God, expressed by the sacred historian, that in all time one man and one woman should by marriage become one flesh--so to continue as long as both are in the flesh. This being God's constitution, let not man break it ”
- 1 Corinthians (Methodist/Wesleyan) “Adam Clarke on 1 Corinthians 7:10: I command, yet not I, but the Lord - I do not give my own private opinion or judgment in this case; for the Lord Jesus commands that man shall not put asunder them whom God hath joined, Mat 5:32; Mat 19:6. And God has said the same, Gen 2:24. The following extracts will prove that the law among the Jews was very loose relative to the firmness of the marriage bond: - A woman might put away or depart from her husband by giving this simple reason to the elders, who would give the following certificate. "In ____ day of ____ week, of ____ year, A., daughter of B.”
- Ephesians (Presbyterian) “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown on Ephesians 5:31: For--The propagation of the Church from Christ, as that of Eve from Adam, is the foundation of the spiritual marriage. The natural marriage, wherein "a man leaves father and mother (the oldest manuscripts omit 'his') and is joined unto his wife," is not the principal thing meant here, but the spiritual marriage represented by it, and on which it rests, whereby Christ left the Father's bosom to woo to Himself the Church out of a lost world: Eph 5:32 proves this: His earthly mother as such, also, He holds in secondary account as compared with His spir”
- 1 Corinthians (Baptist/Reformed) “John Gill on 1 Corinthians 7:10: And unto the married I command,.... To the unmarried and widows he spoke by permission, or only gave advice and counsel to remain unmarried, provided they could contain; but if not, it was advisable to marry; but to persons already in a married state, what he has to say to them is by commandment, enjoining what they are under obligation to observe, not being at liberty to do as they will: yet not I, but the Lord; not as if he took upon him the dominion over them, to make laws for them, and, in an imperious authoritative way, oblige them to obedience to them; ”
- Ephesians (Baptist/Reformed) “John Gill on Ephesians 5:29: For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother,.... These words contain the law of marriage, and are cited from Gen 2:24; and declare what ought to be, and are a prophecy of what should be; and are observed against polygamy, and to stir up mutual affection; See Gill on Mat 19:5. . Ephesians 5:32 eph 5:32 eph 5:32 eph 5:32This is a great mystery,.... It has something mysterious in it; it is a figure and emblem of the mysterious union between Christ and his people: for so it follows, but I speak concerning Christ and the church; or mention this law and i”