Loving Difficult People in the New Testament
The New Testament emphasizes the importance of loving difficult people, drawing on Old Testament principles and the example of Christ. This love extends to those who are considered enemies, those who are afflicted, and those who are weak or ignorant [4, 5, 11].
A foundational teaching on this topic comes from Jesus himself in the Gospel of Matthew: "But I tell you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who mistreat you and persecute you" [4]. This command challenges conventional notions of love, extending it beyond those who are naturally easy to love.
The concept of compassion and sympathy is central to understanding how to love difficult people. The author of Hebrews notes that a high priest should be able to "deal gently with those who are ignorant and led astray, since he himself also is surrounded by weakness" [1]. This highlights the idea that understanding one's own frailties can foster empathy for others. Christ's own ministry exemplified this, as he showed compassion for the weary, the weak in faith, the tempted, the afflicted, the diseased, the poor, and perishing sinners [5]. His compassion is presented as an encouragement for believers to pray [5].
The Old Testament also provides a basis for this kind of love. For instance, the prophet Hosea was commanded to "love a woman loved by a friend, yet an adulteress, according to the love of Jehovah toward the sons of Israel, who turn to other gods" [3]. This illustrates God's persistent love for an unfaithful people. Similarly, Deuteronomy emphasizes God's justice for the defenseless, such as the orphan and widow, and his loving care for the stranger. This serves as a model for Israel, instructing them not to close their hearts to strangers [8, 10]. The Lord "preserveth the strangers" and "relieveth the fatherless and widow" [9].
Specific actions are outlined for demonstrating love towards those who are difficult or in need. These include:
- Praying for them: This is seen in passages like Acts 12:5 and James 5:14-16 [2].
- Sympathizing with them: Romans 12:15 and Galatians 6:2 encourage this [2].
- Pitying them: Job 6:14 is cited in this regard [2].
- Bearing them in mind: Hebrews 13:3 suggests remembering those who are afflicted [2].
- Visiting them: James 1:27 highlights the importance of visiting orphans and widows in their distress [2].
- Comforting them: Passages such as 2 Corinthians 1:4 and 1 Thessalonians 4:18 speak to the need for comfort [2].
- Relieving them: Isaiah 58:10 and Philippians 4:14 encourage providing aid [2].
- Protecting them: Psalm 82:3 and Proverbs 22:22 speak of protecting the vulnerable [2].
The concept of "communion with God" is also linked to showing compassion and sympathy towards others, including enemies, the poor, and the weak [6]. This communion is inseparable from love for God, as expressed in 1 John 3:17 and 4:20 [6]. The compassion of God and the awareness of one's own infirmities serve as motives for exercising sympathy [6].
The New Testament further develops this by encouraging hospitality, particularly towards strangers. The phrase "use hospitality" can be rendered as "be lovers of strangers," implying a welcoming attitude towards those from distant places, especially those who are good and may be displaced due to circumstances or faith [7]. This aligns with the Old Testament emphasis on caring for the stranger, which was a test of one's love for God [8].
Sources
- Hebrews “Hebrews 5:2 (LEB) — being able to deal gently with those who are ignorant and led astray, since he himself also is surrounded by weakness,”
- Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Afflicted, Duty Toward The — To pray for them -- Ac 12:5; Php 1:16,19; Jas 5:14-16. To sympathise with them -- Ro 12:15; Ga 6:2. To pity them -- Job 6:14. To bear them in mind -- Heb 13:3. To visit them -- Jas 1:27. To comfort them -- Job 16:5; 29:25; 2Co 1:4; 1Th 4:18. To relieve them -- Job 31:19,20; Isa 58:10; Php 4:14; 1Ti 5:10. To protect them -- Ps 82:3; Pr 22:22; 31:5.”
- Hosea “Hosea 3:1 (LITV) — And Jehovah said to me, Go again, love a woman loved by a friend, yet an adulteress, according to the love of Jehovah toward the sons of Israel, who turn to other gods, and love raisin cakes of grapes.”
- Matthew “But I tell you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who mistreat you and persecute you, -- Matthew 5:44”
- Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Compassion and Sympathy of Christ, The — Necessary to his priestly office -- Heb 5:2,7. Manifested for the Weary and heavy-laden. -- Mt 11:28-30. Weak in faith. -- Isa 40:11; 42:3; Mt 12:20. Tempted. -- Heb 2:18. Afflicted. -- Lu 7:13; Joh 11:33,35. Diseased. -- Mt 14:14; Mr 1:41. Poor. -- Mr 8:2. Perishing sinners. -- Mt 9:36; Lu 19:41; Joh 3:16. An encouragement to prayer -- Heb 4:15.”
- Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Communion With God — Christ set an example of -- Lu 19:41,42. Exhortation to -- Ro 12:15; 1Pe 3:8. Exercise towards The afflicted. -- Job 6:14; Heb 13:3. The chastened. -- Isa 22:4; Jer 9:1. Enemies. -- Ps 35:13. The poor. -- Pr 19:17. The weak. -- 2Co 11:29; Ga 6:2. Saints. -- 1Co 12:25,26. Inseparable from love to God -- 1Jo 3:17; Joh 4:20. Motives to The compassion of God. -- Mt 13:27,33. The sense of our infirmities. -- Heb 5:2. The wicked made to feel, for saints -- Ps 106:46. Promise to those who show -- Pr 19:17; Mt 10:42. Illustrated -- Lu 10:33; 15:20. Exemp”
- 1 Peter (Baptist/Reformed) “John Gill on 1 Peter 4:9: Use hospitality,.... Or, "be lovers of strangers", as the phrase may be rendered, and as it is in the Syriac version; that is, such as are of a distant country, or come from afar, and are unknown by face, especially good men, that are obliged to remove from their native country for the sake of religion, or by one providence or another; and these are to be loved: and love is to be shown them, both negatively, by not vexing them, and making them uneasy in body or mind; by not oppressing them by violence and injustice, and making any exorbitant demands upon them; or by n”
- Deuteronomy (Lutheran) “Keil & Delitzsch on Deuteronomy 10:18: As such, Jehovah does justice to the defenceless (orphan and widow), and exercises a loving care towards the stranger in his oppression. For this reason the Israelites were not to close their hearts egotistically against the stranger (cf. Exo 22:20). This would show whether they possessed any love to God, and had circumcised their hearts (cf. Jo1 3:10, Jo1 3:17).”
- Psalms (Baptist/Reformed) “John Gill on Psalms 146:9: The Lord preserveth the strangers,.... The life of them, as he did the daughter of: the Greek, a Syrophenician woman, and a Samaritan, by healing them of their diseases, Mar 7:26; and in a spiritual sense he preserves the lives and saves the souls of his people among the Gentiles, who are aliens from the commonwealth of Israel, and strangers to the covenant of promise; for these he laid down his life a ransom, and became the propitiation for their sins; to these he sends his Gospel, which is the power of God to salvation unto them; he relieveth the fatherless and w”
- Sefaria (Jewish (Rationalist)) “Abraham Ibn Ezra on Deuteronomy 10:18: HE DOTH EXECUTE JUSTICE. Even though He is exalted, He executes justice on behalf of the orphan and widow who have no one to help them, as in a father of the fatherless and a judge of the widows (Ps. 68:6). He similarly loves the stranger and sustains him when he 59 The stranger. relies on Him. Now, since God loves the stranger, you too are obligated to love him.”
- Isaiah (Baptist/Reformed) “John Gill on Isaiah 42:3: A bruised reed shall not break,.... The tenderness of Christ to weak and ignorant persons is here and in the next clause expressed; by whom young converts or weak believers seem to be designed; who are compared to a "reed", because worthless with respect to God, whom they cannot profit; and in the view of men, who reckon them as nothing; and in themselves, and in their own view, who judge themselves unworthy of the least of mercies; and because they are weak, not only as all men are, of which weakness they are sensible; but they are weak in grace, especially in faith,”