Maintaining Friendship with a Catholic Friend with Different Beliefs
Maintaining friendship with a Catholic friend, despite differences in belief, is addressed by biblical principles concerning love, acceptance, and unity among believers, even when theological disagreements exist. The Apostle Paul encourages believers to "accept one who is weak in faith, but not for disputes over opinions" [1]. This instruction from Romans 14:1 suggests a framework for navigating differences within the Christian community, prioritizing mutual encouragement and brotherly love over contentious debates [2, 3].
The concept of "brotherly love" (φιλαδελφία, philadelphia) is a recurring theme in the New Testament, emphasizing the bond that should exist among those who share faith [3, 7]. While some interpretations of "brotherly love" focus specifically on fellow members of a church or those in a spiritual relationship with God, the broader principle of love extends to all [7]. John Gill, in his commentary on Hebrews 13:1, notes that while brotherly love primarily concerns those "in the same spiritual relation to God," it should also be "universal" [7]. This suggests that while theological alignment strengthens fellowship, it does not negate the call to love and friendship with others, including those with differing theological perspectives.
The New Testament also provides guidance on how believers should interact with those who hold different views or are outside their immediate faith community. Paul's instruction in Romans 15:7 to "accept each other" implies a welcoming posture, treating others as family, just as Christ has accepted believers despite their flaws [10]. This acceptance means "more than grudgingly putting up with each other"; it involves genuine welcome into fellowship [10]. This principle can be extended to friendships with individuals from different Christian traditions, such as Catholicism, where shared faith in Christ can form a basis for friendship despite doctrinal distinctions.
The idea of friendship itself is valued in biblical wisdom literature. Proverbs 18:24 states, "A man that hath friends must show himself friendly" [4]. John Gill interprets this proverb to mean that friendship should be "mutual and reciprocal" [4]. Matthew Henry, commenting on Proverbs 27:9, emphasizes the importance of being "faithful and constant to our friends, our old friends, to keep up an intimacy with them" [9]. These proverbs highlight the intrinsic value of friendship and the responsibility to cultivate it. While these passages do not specifically address inter-denominational friendships, they establish a general biblical affirmation of the importance of maintaining friendly relationships.
The Apostle Paul also addresses situations where believers are in close relationships with unbelievers. In 1 Corinthians 7:13, he discusses a woman married to an unbelieving husband, stating that if "he be pleased to dwell with her," she should not leave him [8]. This passage, while concerning marriage, illustrates a principle of maintaining relationships with those who do not share the same faith, provided there is a willingness to coexist peacefully [8]. This can be analogously applied to friendships, suggesting that differences in belief do not inherently necessitate the dissolution of a relationship, especially when there is mutual respect and a desire for continued connection.
Theological differences, while significant, do not always preclude genuine fellowship or friendship. The Tyndale House commentary on 1 John 1:7 notes that "believers have fellowship with each other and with God as they live in the light" [6]. This fellowship is rooted in a shared experience of Christ [6]. While Catholicism and various Protestant traditions have distinct theological frameworks, they share core beliefs about Christ, the Trinity, and the authority of Scripture, which can form a common ground for friendship and mutual encouragement [2]. Matthew Henry, in his commentary on Philippians 3:15, observes that "all good Christians were agreed, to make Christ all in all, and set their hearts upon another world" [11]. He suggests that despite differences in "sentiments about other things," this shared focus on Christ is a unifying factor [11].
Adam Clarke's commentary on 2 Corinthians 13:12, "Greet one another with a holy kiss," encourages believers to "Use every means by which a good understanding may be brought about" and to "Let the spirit of friendship live among you, and encourage its continuance by every friendly act" [5]. This exhortation to foster friendship and understanding can extend beyond immediate church communities to relationships with Christians from other traditions.
Sources
- Romans “Now accept one who is weak in faith, but not for disputes over opinions. -- Romans 14:1”
- Romans “Romans 1:12 (BSB) — that is, that you and I may be mutually encouraged by each other’s faith.”
- Hebrews “Hebrews 13:1 (YLT) — Let brotherly love remain;”
- Proverbs (Baptist/Reformed) “John Gill on Proverbs 18:24: A man that hath friends must show himself friendly,.... Friendship ought to be mutual and reciprocal, as between David and Jonathan; a man that receives friendship ought to return it, or otherwise he is guilty of great ingratitude. This may be spiritually applied; a believer is "a man of friends" (b), as it may be rendered; he has many friends: God is his friend, as appears by his early love to him, his choice of him, and provisions of grace for him; by sending his son to save him; by visiting him, not only in a way of providence, but of grace; by disclosing his se”
- 2 Corinthians (Methodist/Wesleyan) “Adam Clarke on 2 Corinthians 13:12: Greet one another with a holy kiss - Use every means by which a good understanding may be brought about. Let the spirit of friendship live among you, and encourage its continuance by every friendly act. See the note on Rom 16:16.”
- 1 John (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on 1 John 1:7: 1:7 Believers have fellowship with each other and with God as they live in the light. People cannot say they commune with God and then refuse to have fellowship with God’s people. This was the case with the Gnostics. The apostles of Christ had known Jesus Christ as God-in-the-flesh and were continuing to have spiritual fellowship with him (1:3).”
- Hebrews (Baptist/Reformed) “John Gill on Hebrews 13:1: Let brotherly love continue. The Vulgate Latin and Syriac versions add, "in you"; or among you, as a church and society of Christians; for this is not to be understood of love to all mankind, or to those of the same nation, or who are in a strict natural relation brethren, though they are all in a sense brethren, and to be loved; but of love to those who are in the same spiritual relation to God, as their Father, to Christ, as the firstborn among many brethren; and are in the same church state, at least partakers of the same grace: and which love ought to be universa”
- 1 Corinthians (Baptist/Reformed) “John Gill on 1 Corinthians 7:13: And the woman which hath an husband that believeth,.... The apostle puts the case both ways, there being the same reason for one as for another; that if she that was a sister, who was partaker of the grace of God, and a member of the church, had a husband to whom she was married before her conversion; who was an unbeliever, had no faith in Christ, nor any notion of the Gospel, but an infidel to both: and if he be pleased to dwell with her; loves her, and is willing to continue with her; neither puts her away from him, nor departs from her on account of her Ch”
- Proverbs (Nonconformist/Puritan) “Matthew Henry on Proverbs 27:9: Here is, 1. A charge given to be faithful and constant to our friends, our old friends, to keep up an intimacy with them, and to be ready to do them all the offices that lie in our power. It is good to have a friend, a bosom-friend, whom we can be free with, and with whom we may communicate counsels. It is not necessary that this friend should be a relation, or any way akin to us, though it is happiest when, among those who are so, we find one fit to make a friend of. Peter and Andrew were brethren, so were James and John; yet Solomon frequently distinguishes be”
- Romans (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Romans 15:7: 15:7 To accept each other means more than grudgingly putting up with each other. We are to welcome other believers, with all their flaws and sins, into our fellowship and treat them as family (see study note on 12:10), just as Christ has accepted us, with all our flaws and sins, into his fellowship and family (5:8-11).”
- Philippians (Nonconformist/Puritan) “Matthew Henry on Philippians 3:15: The apostle, having proposed himself as an example, urges the Philippians to follow it. Let the same mind be in us which was in blessed Paul. We see here how he was minded; let us be like-minded, and set our hearts upon Christ and heaven, as he did. 1. He shows that this was the thing wherein all good Christians were agreed, to make Christ all in all, and set their hearts upon another world. This is that whereto we have all attained. However good Christians may differ in their sentiments about other things, this is what they are agreed in, that Christ is a Ch”