Masturbation in Marriage When Wife Refuses Intimacy
Christian teachings emphasize that sexual intimacy within marriage is a mutual right and responsibility, not to be withheld by either spouse [5]. The Apostle Paul, in 1 Corinthians 7:3-5, instructs married couples not to "defraud ye not one the other" of conjugal relations, except by mutual consent for a limited time of prayer [8, 9]. This passage highlights that both the husband and the wife have authority over each other's bodies in the context of marital intimacy [6].
The concept of "due benevolence" or the "conjugal debt" underscores the expectation that spouses fulfill each other's sexual needs [6, 8]. John Chrysostom, in his homilies on 1 Corinthians, explains that withholding intimacy can lead to "great evils," including adultery and the ruin of families, especially if one spouse is unwilling to practice continence [9]. one tradition argues that if individuals commit fornication even when they have their own wives, the problem is exacerbated if they are deprived of this marital consolation [9].
While the biblical texts strongly advocate for regular marital intimacy, they do not directly address the specific scenario of masturbation when a spouse refuses intimacy. However, the broader theological framework emphasizes the importance of fulfilling marital duties and avoiding sexual immorality outside of marriage [5, 11]. Adultery, defined as illicit intercourse with a married or betrothed woman, is consistently condemned as a grave sin and social wrong in biblical law [4, 1, 2, 3]. Joseph's refusal of Potiphar's wife, for instance, is presented as an act of faithfulness to God and his master, demonstrating a commitment to sexual purity [7, 10].
The emphasis on mutual sexual satisfaction within marriage, as outlined in 1 Corinthians 7, suggests that spouses should strive to meet each other's needs to prevent temptation [5]. The absence of specific biblical guidance on masturbation in this context means that interpretations often draw from broader principles of sexual ethics, self-control, and the sanctity of the marital covenant [12].
Sources
- Matthew “Matthew 5:32 (Geneva1599) — But I say vnto you, whosoeuer shall put away his wife (except it be for fornication) causeth her to commit adulterie: and whosoeuer shall marrie her that is diuorced, committeth adulterie.”
- Matthew “Matthew 19:9 (Geneva1599) — I say therefore vnto you, that whosoeuer shall put away his wife, except it be for whoredome, and marry another, committeth adulterie: and whosoeuer marieth her which is diuorced, doeth commit adulterie.”
- Ezekiel “Ezekiel 16:32 (Rotherham) — A wife who committeth adultery, instead of her husband accepteth strangers.”
- Easton's Bible Dictionary “Easton's Bible Dictionary: Adultery — Conjugal infidelity. An adulterer was a man who had illicit intercourse with a married or a betrothed woman, and such a woman was an adulteress. Intercourse between a married man and an unmarried woman was fornication. Adultery was regarded as a great social wrong, as well as a great sin. The Mosaic law (Num. 5:11-31) prescribed that the suspected wife should be tried by the ordeal of the "water of jealousy." There is, however, no recorded instance of the application of this law. In subsequent times the Rabbis made various regulations with the view of disc”
- 1 Corinthians (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on 1 Corinthians 7:3: 7:3-4 Because of the temptation to sexual immorality, married Christians must always be considerate of the sexual needs of their spouses. Sexual intimacy is a mutual right for both spouses in a marriage and must not be withheld. Marriage includes yielding the authority over one’s body to one’s spouse, though such authority is clearly not to be abused.”
- 1 Corinthians (Baptist/Reformed) “John Gill on 1 Corinthians 7:4: The wife hath not power of her own body,.... To refrain the use of it from her husband; or to prostitute it to another man: but the husband; he has the sole power over it, and may require when he pleases the use of it: and likewise also the husband has not power over his own body: to withhold due benevolence, or the conjugal debt from his wife; or abuse it by self-pollution, fornication, adultery, sodomy, or any acts of uncleanness: but the wife; she only has a power over it, a right to it, and may claim the use of it: this power over each other's bodies is ”
- Genesis (Baptist/Reformed) “John Gill on Genesis 39:8: But he refused, and said unto his master's wife,.... Reasoning with her about the evil nature of the crime she tempted him to, which to commit would be ingratitude, as well as injury to his master, and a sin against God; by which it appears that Joseph was a partaker of the grace of God, and that this was in strong exercise at this time, by which he was preserved from the temptation he was beset with: behold, my master wotteth not what is with me in the house; what goods or money are in it: and he hath committed all that he hath to my hand: such confidence did he”
- 1 Corinthians (Baptist/Reformed) “John Gill on 1 Corinthians 7:5: Defraud ye not one the other,.... By withholding due benevolence, denying the use of the marriage bed, refusing to pay the conjugal debt, and which is called a "diminishing of her marriage duty", Exo 21:10 where the Septuagint use the same word "defraud", as the apostle does here; it is what both have a right to, and therefore, if either party is denied, it is a piece of injustice, it is properly a defrauding; though with proper conditions, such as follow, it may be lawful for married persons to lie apart, and abstain from the use of the bed, but then it should ”
- CCEL/NPNF (Eastern Orthodox) “John Chrysostom, Homilies on 1 & 2 Corinthians: honor, and no prerogative. 106 [3.] Ver. 5 . “Defraud ye not one the other, except it be by consent.” What then can this mean? “Let not the wife,” says he, “exercise continence, if the husband be unwilling; nor yet the husband without the wife’s consent.” Why so? Because great evils spring from this sort of continence. For adulteries and fornications and the ruin of families have often arisen from hence. For if when men have their own wives they commit fornication, much more if you defraud them of this consolation. And well says he, “Defraud not;”
- Sefaria (Jewish (Kabbalistic/Philosophical)) “Ramban (Nachmanides) on Genesis 39:8: BUT HE REFUSED, AND SAID UNTO HIS MASTER’s WIFE. Scripture relates that he refused to do her will even though she was his mistress, i.e., his master’s wife, and he feared her, for he feared G-d more. This is the meaning of the expression, unto his master’s wife .”
- 1 Thessalonians (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on 1 Thessalonians 4:5: 4:5 Willful ignorance of God and his ways is the root of moral corruption (Rom 1:18-32; Eph 4:17-18). • lustful passion: Sexual immorality was often tolerated in the Mediterranean world. Prostitution was allowed, but sexual relations with another man’s wife were prohibited. Roman marriage customs barred women, but not men, from extramarital affairs. By contrast, Jewish and Christian authors alike prohibited all sexual involvement outside of marriage (Acts 15:20; 1 Cor 6:12-20; Col 3:5-6).”
- Malachi (Presbyterian) “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown on Malachi 2:14: Wherefore?--Why does God reject our offerings? Lord . . . witness between thee and . . . wife--(so Gen 31:49-50). of thy youth--The Jews still marry very young, the husband often being but thirteen years of age, the wife younger (Pro 5:18; Isa 54:6). wife of thy covenant--not merely joined to thee by the marriage covenant generally, but by the covenant between God and Israel, the covenant-people, whereby a sin against a wife, a daughter of Israel, is a sin against God [MOORE]. Marriage also is called "the covenant of God" (Pro 2:17), and to it t”