Mutual Submission and Christlike Love in Marriage Relationships
Mutual Submission and Christlike Love in Marriage Relationships
The concept of mutual submission and Christlike love in marriage relationships is rooted in biblical teachings. In Ephesians 5:21, the apostle Paul exhorts believers to "submit to one another out of reverence for Christ" [5]. This mutual submission is the foundation for the specific instructions that follow regarding the relationship between husbands and wives.
In Ephesians 5:22-33, Paul elaborates on the roles of husbands and wives, using the metaphor of Christ's relationship with the church. Wives are instructed to submit to their husbands "as to the Lord" (Eph 5:22) [1], while husbands are commanded to love their wives "just as Christ loved the church" (Eph 5:25) [7]. This love is characterized by sacrifice, as Christ gave himself up for the church (Eph 5:25-26).
The biblical concept of love is central to understanding the relationship between husbands and wives. According to 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, love is patient, kind, and not self-seeking [10]. In the context of marriage, this means that husbands and wives are to prioritize each other's needs and well-being. The command to love one another is not limited to marriage, as Jesus teaches his disciples to "love one another as I have loved you" (John 13:34) [2].
The idea of mutual submission is not limited to the relationship between husbands and wives. In 1 Corinthians 7:3-4, Paul emphasizes the mutual responsibility of spouses to meet each other's sexual needs, indicating a reciprocal authority and submission within marriage [8]. This mutual submission is an expression of the broader Christian principle of humility and service to one another.
The Psalms describe the joining together of "loving devotion and faithfulness" as a beautiful picture of relationships (Ps 85:10) [3]. In the context of marriage, this means that couples are to cultivate a deep commitment to one another, characterized by loyalty and trust.
Different Christian traditions have interpreted these biblical teachings in various ways. Some have emphasized the hierarchical nature of the husband-wife relationship, while others have highlighted the mutual submission and reciprocal love that characterizes Christian marriage [4, 5, 6]. The Puritan tradition, represented by Matthew Henry, emphasizes the importance of mutual submission and condescension in Christian relationships, including marriage [5].
The Protestant academic tradition, as represented by the Tyndale House commentary, notes that the concept of mutual submission is not limited to marriage, but is a broader principle that characterizes relationships within the body of Christ [9]. This understanding is rooted in the biblical teaching that believers are to "submit to one another out of reverence for Christ" (Eph 5:21).
Sources
- Ephesians “Ephesians 5:24 (BSB) — Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”
- John “John 13:34 (BSB) — A new commandment I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you also must love one another.”
- Psalms “Psalms 85:10 (BSB) — Loving devotion and faithfulness have joined together; righteousness and peace have kissed.”
- Ephesians (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Ephesians 5:22: 5:22-33 Christian wives are to submit to their husbands, showing them respect. Equally important, Christian husbands are to love their wives (see Col 3:18-19). Christian marriages become a reflection of the union and relationship between the Lord and the church. 5:22 Submission is part of the life to which the wives’ Christian commitment calls them (see 1 Cor 11:3-10; 14:34-35; Col 3:18; 1 Tim 2:11-12; Titus 2:5; 1 Pet 3:1-6).”
- Ephesians (Nonconformist/Puritan) “Matthew Henry on Ephesians 5:21: Here the apostle begins his exhortation to the discharge of relative duties. As a general foundation for these duties, he lays down that rule Eph 5:21. There is a mutual submission that Christians owe one to another, condescending to bear one another's burdens: not advancing themselves above others, nor domineering over one another and giving laws to one another. Paul was an example of this truly Christian temper, for he became all things to all men. We must be of a yielding and of a submissive spirit, and ready to all the duties of the respective places and st”
- Ephesians (Presbyterian) “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown on Ephesians 5:22: (Eph 6:9.) The Church's relation to Christ in His everlasting purpose, is the foundation and archetype of the three greatest of earthly relations, that of husband and wife (Eph 5:22-33), parent and child (Eph 6:1-4), master and servant (Eph 6:4-9). The oldest manuscripts omit "submit yourselves"; supplying it from Eph 5:21, "Ye wives (submitting yourselves) unto your own husbands." "Your own" is an argument for submissiveness on the part of the wives; it is not a stranger, but your own husbands whom you are called on to submit unto (compare Gen 3:16”
- Ephesians (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Ephesians 5:25: 5:25-33 Christian husbands are to love their wives just as Christ loved the church—that is, sacrificially, for Christ gave up his life for her (5:2; cp. Col 3:19; 1 Pet 3:7).”
- 1 Corinthians (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on 1 Corinthians 7:3: 7:3-4 Because of the temptation to sexual immorality, married Christians must always be considerate of the sexual needs of their spouses. Sexual intimacy is a mutual right for both spouses in a marriage and must not be withheld. Marriage includes yielding the authority over one’s body to one’s spouse, though such authority is clearly not to be abused.”
- Ephesians (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Ephesians 5:21: 5:21–6:9 Paul gives specific instructions on how believers are to relate to one another in a Christian home (see also Col 3:18–4:1; 1 Pet 2:18–3:7). Love and respect are to characterize all relationships in the body of Christ as an expression of believers’ commitment to the Lord himself. 5:21 And further, submit to one another: The verb form links it with the command to be filled (5:18). This general instruction (cp. Phil 2:3) applies to all three relationships that Paul discusses: wives and husbands (Eph 5:22-33), children and their parents (6:1-4), and slaves”
- 1 Corinthians (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on 1 Corinthians 13:4: 13:4-7 This description of Christian love emphasizes the willingness to give up one’s own desires for the good of others (see also 8:1–10:33; Rom 5:6-8; 15:3; 2 Cor 8:9; Phil 2:4-8).”