Mutual Submission and Love in Christian Marriage Relationships

The concept of mutual submission and love in Christian marriage relationships is rooted in biblical teachings, particularly in the New Testament. Ephesians 5:21 sets the tone for this concept, stating, "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ" ^[5]. This verse establishes the principle of mutual submission among believers, which is then applied to the relationship between husbands and wives.

In the context of marriage, mutual submission is understood as a reciprocal relationship where both partners submit to each other. For wives, this means submitting to their husbands "as unto the Lord" (Ephesians 5:22) ^[1]. The biblical basis for this submission is seen in the relationship between the church and Christ, where the church submits to Christ's authority. Similarly, wives are called to submit to their husbands, not out of fear or coercion, but out of reverence for Christ ^[8].

However, this submission is not one-sided. Husbands are also called to love their wives sacrificially, just as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25) ^[12]. This love is characterized by selflessness, kindness, and a willingness to give up one's own desires for the good of the other (1 Corinthians 13:4-7) ^[11]. The biblical ideal for husbands is to love their wives as their own bodies, nourishing and cherishing them (Ephesians 5:28-29).

The concept of mutual submission and love in Christian marriage is not limited to Ephesians 5. Other New Testament passages, such as 1 Peter 3:1-7 and 1 Corinthians 7:3-4, also emphasize the importance of mutual respect, love, and submission in marriage ^{[3, 9]}. In 1 Corinthians 7:3-4, Paul writes that married couples have a mutual authority over each other's bodies, highlighting the reciprocal nature of their relationship.

The early Christian tradition understood marriage as a divine institution, designed for the happiness of humanity, and a means of raising godly offspring ^[6]. The Puritan tradition, represented by Matthew Henry, emphasizes the importance of mutual submission in Christian relationships, including marriage, as a reflection of the Christian commitment to the Lord ^[10].

In Christian marriage, love is not merely a feeling but a choice and a commitment to act in the best interests of one's spouse. This love is rooted in the love of Christ for the church and is characterized by selflessness, kindness, and a willingness to sacrifice one's own interests for the good of the other ^[2]. As the apostle John writes, "And now I urge you, dear lady—not as a new commandment to you, but one we have had from the beginning—that we love one another" (2 John 1:5) ^[4].

The biblical teaching on mutual submission and love in Christian marriage relationships has been interpreted and applied in various ways throughout history. While different Christian traditions may have varying understandings of the specific roles and responsibilities of husbands and wives, the underlying principle of mutual submission and love remains a cornerstone of Christian marriage.

The emphasis on mutual submission and love in Christian marriage relationships reflects the broader biblical teaching on the importance of love and relationships within the Christian community. As Torrey's Topical Textbook notes, love is a fundamental aspect of Christian conduct, and is characterized by sincerity, purity of heart, and a willingness to act in the best interests of others ^{[2, 7]}.

Sources

Ephesians “Ephesians 5:24 (BSB) — Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”
Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Love to Man — Is of God -- 1Jo 4:7. Commanded by God -- 1Jo 4:21. Commanded by Christ -- Joh 13:34; 15:12; 1Jo 3:23. After the example of Christ -- Joh 13:34; 15:12; Eph 5:2. Taught by God -- 1Th 4:9. Faith works by -- Ga 5:6. A fruit of the Spirit -- Ga 5:22; Col 1:8. Purity of heart leads to -- 1Pe 1:22. Explained -- 1Co 13:4-7. Is an active principle -- 1Th 1:3; Heb 6:10. Is an abiding principle -- 1Co 13:8,13. Is the second great commandment -- Mt 22:37-39. Is the end of the commandment -- 1Ti 1:5. Supernatural gifts are nothing without -- 1Co 13:1,2. The greates”
I Peter “I Peter 3:1 (BSB) — Wives, in the same way, submit yourselves to your husbands, so that even if they refuse to believe the word, they will be won over without words by the behavior of their wives”
II John “II John 1:5 (BSB) — And now I urge you, dear lady—not as a new commandment to you, but one we have had from the beginning—that we love one another.”
Ephesians “Ephesians 5:21 (BSB) — Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”
Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Marriage — Divinely instituted -- Ge 2:24. A covenant relationship -- Mal 2:4. Designed for The happiness of man. -- Ge 2:18. Increasing the human population. -- Ge 1:28; 9:1. Raising up godly seed. -- Mal 2:15. Preventing fornication. -- 1Co 7:2. The expectation of the promised seed of the woman an incentive to, in the early age -- Ge 3:15; 4:1. Lawful in all -- 1Co 7:2,28; 1Ti 5:14. Honourable for all -- Heb 13:4. Should be only in the Lord -- 1Co 7:39. Expressed by Joining together. -- Mt 19:6. Making affinity. -- 1Ki 3:1. Taking to wife. -- Ex 2:1. Giving daughte”
Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Conduct, Christian — Believing God -- Mr 11:22; Joh 14:11,12. Fearing God -- Ec 12:13; 1Pe 2:17. Loving God -- De 6:5; Mt 22:37. Following God -- Eph 5:1; 1Pe 1:15,16. Obeying God -- Lu 1:6; 1Jo 5:3. Rejoicing in God -- Ps 33:1; Hab 3:18. Believing in Christ -- Joh 6:29; 1Jo 3:23. Loving Christ -- Joh 21:15; 1Pe 1:7,8. Following the example of Christ -- Joh 13:15; 1Pe 2:21-24. Obeying Christ -- Joh 14:21; 15:14. Living To Christ. -- Ro 14:8; 2Co 5:15. To righteousness. -- Mic 6:8; Ro 6:18; 1Pe 2:24. Soberly, righteously, and godly. -- Tit 2:12. Walking Honestly. -- 1”
Ephesians (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Ephesians 5:22: 5:22-33 Christian wives are to submit to their husbands, showing them respect. Equally important, Christian husbands are to love their wives (see Col 3:18-19). Christian marriages become a reflection of the union and relationship between the Lord and the church. 5:22 Submission is part of the life to which the wives’ Christian commitment calls them (see 1 Cor 11:3-10; 14:34-35; Col 3:18; 1 Tim 2:11-12; Titus 2:5; 1 Pet 3:1-6).”
1 Corinthians (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on 1 Corinthians 7:3: 7:3-4 Because of the temptation to sexual immorality, married Christians must always be considerate of the sexual needs of their spouses. Sexual intimacy is a mutual right for both spouses in a marriage and must not be withheld. Marriage includes yielding the authority over one’s body to one’s spouse, though such authority is clearly not to be abused.”
Ephesians (Nonconformist/Puritan) “Matthew Henry on Ephesians 5:21: Here the apostle begins his exhortation to the discharge of relative duties. As a general foundation for these duties, he lays down that rule Eph 5:21. There is a mutual submission that Christians owe one to another, condescending to bear one another's burdens: not advancing themselves above others, nor domineering over one another and giving laws to one another. Paul was an example of this truly Christian temper, for he became all things to all men. We must be of a yielding and of a submissive spirit, and ready to all the duties of the respective places and st”
1 Corinthians (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on 1 Corinthians 13:4: 13:4-7 This description of Christian love emphasizes the willingness to give up one’s own desires for the good of others (see also 8:1–10:33; Rom 5:6-8; 15:3; 2 Cor 8:9; Phil 2:4-8).”
Ephesians (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Ephesians 5:25: 5:25-33 Christian husbands are to love their wives just as Christ loved the church—that is, sacrificially, for Christ gave up his life for her (5:2; cp. Col 3:19; 1 Pet 3:7).”

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