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Mutual Submission and Love in Christian Relationships

Mutual submission and love are foundational principles for Christian relationships, rooted in the New Testament's teachings on how believers should interact with one another and with God. The apostle Paul explicitly calls for believers to "submit to one another out of reverence for Christ" [1]. This general instruction serves as a basis for specific relational duties within the Christian community [10, 11].

This concept of mutual submission is not about one person dominating another, but rather a yielding and condescending spirit, bearing one another's burdens [11]. It applies broadly to various relationships, including those between wives and husbands, children and parents, and masters and servants [10]. In marriage, for example, while wives are called to submit to their husbands, husbands are simultaneously commanded to love their wives sacrificially, just as Christ loved the church [8, 12]. This reciprocal dynamic underscores that love and respect should characterize all relationships among believers [10].

Love is consistently presented as a core Christian duty and a defining characteristic of believers [3, 7]. Jesus himself commanded his followers to love one another [3]. This love is described as an active principle, a fruit of the Spirit, and the "greatest" of virtues, without which even supernatural gifts are meaningless [3]. Christian love involves a willingness to prioritize the good of others over one's own desires [9]. This is exemplified by Christ, who gave up his life for the church [12].

The call to love extends to accepting one another, just as Christ accepted believers, for the glory of God [2]. This love is not merely an emotion but a conscious choice to follow God's commands and Christ's example [3, 7]. It is a love that should be sincere and supreme, reflecting the love God has for humanity [4, 6]. The affections of a Christian should be set upon God, his commandments, his worship, and his people [5]. In marriage, this mutual love and consideration extend to physical intimacy, where spouses are to be considerate of each other's needs and yield authority over their bodies to one another [13].

Sources

  1. Ephesians “Ephesians 5:21 (BSB) — Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”
  2. Romans “Romans 15:7 (BSB) — Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring glory to God.”
  3. Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Love to Man — Is of God -- 1Jo 4:7. Commanded by God -- 1Jo 4:21. Commanded by Christ -- Joh 13:34; 15:12; 1Jo 3:23. After the example of Christ -- Joh 13:34; 15:12; Eph 5:2. Taught by God -- 1Th 4:9. Faith works by -- Ga 5:6. A fruit of the Spirit -- Ga 5:22; Col 1:8. Purity of heart leads to -- 1Pe 1:22. Explained -- 1Co 13:4-7. Is an active principle -- 1Th 1:3; Heb 6:10. Is an abiding principle -- 1Co 13:8,13. Is the second great commandment -- Mt 22:37-39. Is the end of the commandment -- 1Ti 1:5. Supernatural gifts are nothing without -- 1Co 13:1,2. The greates”
  4. Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Love to Christ — Exhibited by God -- Mt 17:5; Joh 5:20. Exhibited by saints -- 1Pe 1:8. His personal excellence is deserving of -- Song 5:9-16. His love to us a motive to -- 2Co 5:14. Manifested in Seeking him. -- Song 3:2. Obeying him. -- Joh 14:15,21,23. Ministering to him. -- Mt 27:55; 25:40. Preferring him to all others. -- Mt 10:37. Taking up the cross for Him. -- Mt 10:38. A characteristic of saints -- Song 1:4. An evidence of adoption -- Joh 8:42. Should be Sincere. -- Eph 6:24. With the soul. -- Song 1:7. In proportion to our mercies. -- Lu 7:47. Supreme. -- ”
  5. Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Affections, The — Should be supremely set upon God -- De 6:3; Mr 12:30. Should be set Upon the commandments of God. -- Ps 19:8-10; 119:20,97,103,167. Upon the house and worship of God. -- 1Ch 29:3; Ps 26:8; 27:4; 84:1,2. Upon the people of God. -- Ps 16:3; Ro 12:10; 2Co 7:13-15; 1Th 2:8. Upon heavenly things. -- Col 3:1,2. Should be zealously engaged for God -- Ps 69:9; 119:139; Ga 4:18. Christ claims the first place in -- Mt 10:37; Lu 14:26. Enkindled by communion with Christ -- Lu 24:32. Blessedness of making God the object of -- Ps 91:14. Should not grow cold -- P”
  6. Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Love of God, The — Is a part of his character -- 2Co 13:11; 1Jo 4:8. Christ, the especial object of -- Joh 15:9; 17:26. Christ abides in -- Joh 15:10. Described as Sovereign. -- De 7:8; 10:15. Great. -- Eph 2:4. Abiding. -- Zep 3:17. Unfailing. -- Isa 49:15,16. Unalienable. -- Ro 8:39. Constraining. -- Ho 11:4. Everlasting. -- Jer 31:3. Irrespective of merit -- De 7:7; Job 7:17. Manifested towards Perishing sinners. -- Joh 3:16; Tit 3:4. His saints. -- Joh 16:27; 17:23; 2Th 2:16; 1Jo 4:16. The destitute. -- De 10:18. The cheerful giver. -- 2Co 9:7. Exhibited in The g”
  7. Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Conduct, Christian — Believing God -- Mr 11:22; Joh 14:11,12. Fearing God -- Ec 12:13; 1Pe 2:17. Loving God -- De 6:5; Mt 22:37. Following God -- Eph 5:1; 1Pe 1:15,16. Obeying God -- Lu 1:6; 1Jo 5:3. Rejoicing in God -- Ps 33:1; Hab 3:18. Believing in Christ -- Joh 6:29; 1Jo 3:23. Loving Christ -- Joh 21:15; 1Pe 1:7,8. Following the example of Christ -- Joh 13:15; 1Pe 2:21-24. Obeying Christ -- Joh 14:21; 15:14. Living To Christ. -- Ro 14:8; 2Co 5:15. To righteousness. -- Mic 6:8; Ro 6:18; 1Pe 2:24. Soberly, righteously, and godly. -- Tit 2:12. Walking Honestly. -- 1”
  8. Ephesians (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Ephesians 5:22: 5:22-33 Christian wives are to submit to their husbands, showing them respect. Equally important, Christian husbands are to love their wives (see Col 3:18-19). Christian marriages become a reflection of the union and relationship between the Lord and the church. 5:22 Submission is part of the life to which the wives’ Christian commitment calls them (see 1 Cor 11:3-10; 14:34-35; Col 3:18; 1 Tim 2:11-12; Titus 2:5; 1 Pet 3:1-6).”
  9. 1 Corinthians (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on 1 Corinthians 13:4: 13:4-7 This description of Christian love emphasizes the willingness to give up one’s own desires for the good of others (see also 8:1–10:33; Rom 5:6-8; 15:3; 2 Cor 8:9; Phil 2:4-8).”
  10. Ephesians (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Ephesians 5:21: 5:21–6:9 Paul gives specific instructions on how believers are to relate to one another in a Christian home (see also Col 3:18–4:1; 1 Pet 2:18–3:7). Love and respect are to characterize all relationships in the body of Christ as an expression of believers’ commitment to the Lord himself. 5:21 And further, submit to one another: The verb form links it with the command to be filled (5:18). This general instruction (cp. Phil 2:3) applies to all three relationships that Paul discusses: wives and husbands (Eph 5:22-33), children and their parents (6:1-4), and slaves”
  11. Ephesians (Nonconformist/Puritan) “Matthew Henry on Ephesians 5:21: Here the apostle begins his exhortation to the discharge of relative duties. As a general foundation for these duties, he lays down that rule Eph 5:21. There is a mutual submission that Christians owe one to another, condescending to bear one another's burdens: not advancing themselves above others, nor domineering over one another and giving laws to one another. Paul was an example of this truly Christian temper, for he became all things to all men. We must be of a yielding and of a submissive spirit, and ready to all the duties of the respective places and st”
  12. Ephesians (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Ephesians 5:25: 5:25-33 Christian husbands are to love their wives just as Christ loved the church—that is, sacrificially, for Christ gave up his life for her (5:2; cp. Col 3:19; 1 Pet 3:7).”
  13. 1 Corinthians (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on 1 Corinthians 7:3: 7:3-4 Because of the temptation to sexual immorality, married Christians must always be considerate of the sexual needs of their spouses. Sexual intimacy is a mutual right for both spouses in a marriage and must not be withheld. Marriage includes yielding the authority over one’s body to one’s spouse, though such authority is clearly not to be abused.”
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