Navigating Christian Courtship after Widowhood and Remarriage
The New Testament offers guidance on remarriage for widows, particularly in 1 Timothy 5, where the Apostle Paul advises younger widows to remarry [1]. This counsel is given to prevent idleness and potential slander against the church [1, 4].
Paul's instruction in 1 Timothy 5:14 states, "So I advise the younger widows to marry, have children, and manage their households, denying the adversary occasion for slander" [1]. This is seen as a practical measure to address the challenges faced by younger widows, who might otherwise be susceptible to temptation, idleness, and gossip [4, 8]. The concern was that such behavior could harm their testimony for the Gospel [6]. Some interpretations suggest that Paul was particularly concerned about younger widows marrying unbelievers, which could lead them to abandon their Christian faith [8].
The passage distinguishes between different categories of widows. Older widows, particularly those aged sixty or above who had a proven record of good works and devotion to Christ, were eligible for a special role within the church, sometimes referred to as "presbyteresses" or "widows indeed" [5, 10]. These widows were expected to dedicate themselves to the service of the church and were supported by it [2, 3]. For these older widows, remarriage was not encouraged if they had taken a vow of service to Christ [5]. John Chrysostom, an early church father, interpreted the commitment of these widows as being "espoused to Christ," suggesting that breaking this commitment through remarriage would be akin to a betrayal [9].
However, for younger widows, the advice was different. Paul explicitly recommends remarriage, childbearing, and household management [1]. This is not seen as contradictory to other Pauline teachings, such as those in 1 Corinthians 7, because the circumstances and concerns were distinct [4]. The freedom for a widow to remarry is affirmed, with no divine limitation on the number of times one can marry after the death of a spouse [7]. Matthew Henry notes that "death only can annul the bond" of marriage, thus leaving a widow free to marry "whom she will" [7].
The concept of "first faith" in 1 Timothy 5:12, where younger widows who remarry are described as "having cast off their first faith," has been interpreted in various ways. Some scholars understand this "first faith" as a pledge made to Christ and the service of the church, which would be abandoned if they remarried in a way that compromised their Christian commitment, such as marrying an unbeliever [5, 8].
Sources
- I Timothy “I Timothy 5:14 (BSB) — So I advise the younger widows to marry, have children, and manage their households, denying the adversary occasion for slander.”
- King James Version “[KJV] 1 Timothy 5:16 — If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed.”
- I Timothy “I Timothy 5:16 (Geneva1599) — If any faithfull man, or faithfull woman haue widowes, let them minister vnto them, and let not the Church bee charged, that there may bee sufficient for them that are widowes in deede.”
- 1 Timothy (Presbyterian) “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown on 1 Timothy 5:14: younger women--rather, as ellipsis ought to be supplied, "the younger widows," namely younger widows in general, as distinguished from the older widows taken on the roll of presbyteresses (Ti1 5:9). The "therefore" means seeing that young widows are exposed to such temptations, "I will," or "desire," &c. (Ti1 5:11-13). The precept here that they should marry again is not inconsistent with Co1 7:40; for the circumstances of the two cases were distinct (compare Co1 7:26). Here remarriage is recommended as an antidote to sexual passion, idleness, and t”
- 1 Timothy (Presbyterian) “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown on 1 Timothy 5:12: Having--Bringing on themselves, and so having to bear as a burden (Gal 5:10) judgment from God (compare Ti1 3:6), weighing like a load on them. cast off their first faith--namely, pledged to Christ and the service of the Church. There could be no hardship at the age of sixty or upwards in not marrying again (end of Ti1 5:9), for the sake of serving better the cause of Christ as presbyteresses; though, to ordinary widows, no barrier existed against remarriage (Co1 7:39). This is altogether distinct from Rome's unnatural vows of celibacy in the case”
- 1 Timothy (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on 1 Timothy 5:14: 5:14 Paul is advising younger widows to remarry—and to marry believers (5:11-12; cp. 2:15). • not . . . say anything against them: Their actions were hurting their testimony for the Good News (see 1 Thes 4:11-12; Titus 2:8).”
- 1 Corinthians (Nonconformist/Puritan) “Matthew Henry on 1 Corinthians 7:39: The whole is here closed up with advice to widows: As long as the husband liveth the wife is bound by the law, confined to one husband, and bound to continue and cohabit with him. Note, The marriage - contract is for life; death only can annul the bond. But, the husband being dead, she is at liberty to marry whom she will. There is no limitation by God's law to be married only for such a number of times. It is certain, from this passage, that second marriages are not unlawful; for then the widow could not be at liberty to marry whom she pleased, nor to marr”
- 1 Timothy (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on 1 Timothy 5:11: 5:11-15 Young widows still in their childbearing years required a different approach. Paul was concerned that the false teachers were leading them astray. 5:11-12 If Paul was concerned about remarriage to unbelievers (cp. 5:14), their previous pledge would refer to their Christian faith, which they would surrender upon entering a pagan marriage; such a marriage would probably have alienated them from Christ. It is also possible that Paul and the church recognized a special category of “sacred widowhood” (see 5:5; cp. Acts 9:36-37), entered by a vow that Paul re”
- CCEL/NPNF (Eastern Orthodox) “John Chrysostom, Homilies on Galatians–Colossians–Thessalonians: just man, we might say, “Let her depart, for she has become another’s.” 1268 1268 He seems to mean that a professed widow, giving up her profession, is like woman betrothed to a man, and then disliking him, and giving her affections to another. He shows therefore that though they chose widowhood, it was not the choice of their judgment. So then a widow, by the state of widowhood, is espoused to Christ. For He has said, “I am the defender of the widows and the father of the orphans.” ( Ps. lxviii. 5 .) He shows that they do not ch”
- 1 Timothy (Baptist/Reformed) “John Gill on 1 Timothy 5 (introduction): INTRODUCTION TO 1 TIMOTHY 5 In this chapter the apostle lays down rules about the manner of rebuking persons, suitable to their several ages; gives directions concerning widows, both old and young; and instructs Timothy how to behave towards elders in office on different accounts. The rules for giving reproof to old men, as fathers; to young men, as brethren; to elder women, as mothers; and to the younger, as sisters, are in Ti1 5:1. Next follow the directions about taking care of widows, who are to be honoured and maintained by the church, that are w”