Overcoming Lust and Idolizing God's Love in Relationships

Lust, defined as sinful longing, represents an inward sin that can lead to a departure from God ^[6]. It originates in the heart, serving as a central point for moral forces and impulses ^[6]. The Bible indicates that temptation, including lust, does not come from God but rather from one's own desires ^[5]. This concept is further elaborated in James 1:14, which states that individuals are drawn away and enticed by their own lusts ^[5].

The contrast between lust and godly love is significant in Christian thought. Lust is associated with "worldly lusts" and covetousness, which are considered forms of idolatry ^[14]. John Chrysostom emphasizes that denying ungodliness and worldly lusts is the "foundation of all virtue," requiring a resolute turning away from vice, similar to how one would turn from idols ^[14]. This denial implies the "greatest distance, the greatest hatred and aversion" towards such desires ^[14]. In contrast, love is described as a spiritual affection that "descendeth from above, out of heaven," and is considered superior to other forms of affection ^[12].

The Bible frequently calls for affections to be supremely directed towards God. Deuteronomy 6:3 and Mark 12:30 instruct believers to set their affections upon God above all else ^[3]. This includes loving God's commandments (Psalm 19:8-10), His house and worship (Psalm 26:8), and His people (Psalm 16:3) ^[3]. Colossians 3:1-2 further encourages setting affections on heavenly things ^[3]. Christ Himself claims the primary place in one's affections, stating that those who love father or mother more than Him are not worthy of Him (Matthew 10:37) ^[3].

The nature of godly love is characterized by its expansive and inclusive quality. John Chrysostom notes that "godly love... embraces all" ^[17]. This love is "of God," "commanded by God," and "commanded by Christ" ^[7]. It is taught by God (1 Thessalonians 4:9) and is a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22) ^[7]. Such love is an active and abiding principle, considered the "second great commandment" (Matthew 22:37-39) and the "end of the commandment" (1 Timothy 1:5) ^[7]. Without this love, even supernatural gifts are deemed meaningless (1 Corinthians 13:1-2) ^[7].

The concept of God's love for humanity serves as a model for human relationships. Hosea 3:1 illustrates this by depicting the Lord's enduring love for Israel, despite their spiritual adultery, instructing the prophet to show similar love to his unfaithful wife ^[1]. This divine love is a powerful motivator for human love and obedience ^[8]. The love of God, when "shed abroad in the heart," provides comfort and support during afflictions, quickens spiritual graces, and compels individuals to love and live for the Lord ^[15].

Idolizing God's love in relationships implies prioritizing divine love as the ultimate standard and source for human affection. This stands in direct opposition to lust, which is a "passion of lust" that gratifies and indulges sinful desires, akin to the practices of Gentiles who "know not God" ^[10]. The rationalist Jewish perspective of Abraham Ibn Ezra suggests that God loves those who separate themselves to serve Him and obey His word, implying that lust, as exemplified by Adam's experience after eating from the tree of knowledge, leads to expulsion from God's presence ^[16].

The consequences of succumbing to lust are severe. Romans 1:26-27 describes how God gave people over to "vile affections" due to their rejection of Him, leading to unnatural sexual desires ^[13]. John Chrysostom interprets these "mad lust after males" as a profound dishonoring of the soul, worse than physical diseases ^[13]. This highlights the spiritual damage caused by lust, which distorts the natural order and alienates individuals from God.

In contrast, a relationship rooted in God's love seeks righteousness and hates lawlessness, as described in Hebrews 1:9 concerning Christ ^[2]. This kind of love is without dissimulation, hating evil and cleaving to what is good (Romans 12:9) ^[4]. Matthew Henry, commenting on Psalm 42:1, describes "holy love to God as the chief good" as the "power of godliness, the very life and soul of religion," without which all external religious acts are empty ^[9]. This love involves a deep longing and thirst for God, desiring more and more of Him ^[9].

God's passionate opposition to idolatry, including the "prostituting ourselves with false gods," is described as His jealousy ^[11]. This divine jealousy underscores the seriousness of directing one's ultimate affections away from God. While the effects of sin can extend to future generations, God's grace extends the effects of obedience to a thousand generations, emphasizing the profound and lasting benefits of aligning one's love with His ^[11].

The cultivation of godly love is not merely an emotional state but an active principle that manifests in seeking Christ, obeying Him, ministering to Him, and preferring Him above all others ^[8]. It involves taking up one's cross for Him and is considered an evidence of adoption ^[8]. This love should be sincere, from the soul, and proportional to the mercies received ^[8]. The emphasis on God's love as the supreme object of affection and the guiding principle for all relationships provides a framework for overcoming lust and fostering healthy, God-honoring connections.

Sources

Hosea “Hosea 3:1 (BSB) — Then the LORD said to me, “Go show love to your wife again, though she is loved by another and is an adulteress. Love her as the LORD loves the Israelites, though they turn to other gods and offer raisin cakes to idols.””
Hebrews “Hebrews 1:9 (Rotherham) — Thou hast loved righteousness, and hated lawlessness,—For this cause, hath God, thy God, anointed thee with the oil of exultation, beyond thy partners;”
Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Affections, The — Should be supremely set upon God -- De 6:3; Mr 12:30. Should be set Upon the commandments of God. -- Ps 19:8-10; 119:20,97,103,167. Upon the house and worship of God. -- 1Ch 29:3; Ps 26:8; 27:4; 84:1,2. Upon the people of God. -- Ps 16:3; Ro 12:10; 2Co 7:13-15; 1Th 2:8. Upon heavenly things. -- Col 3:1,2. Should be zealously engaged for God -- Ps 69:9; 119:139; Ga 4:18. Christ claims the first place in -- Mt 10:37; Lu 14:26. Enkindled by communion with Christ -- Lu 24:32. Blessedness of making God the object of -- Ps 91:14. Should not grow cold -- P”
Romans “Romans 12:9 (Tyndale) — Let love be wt out dissimulacion. Hate that which is evyll and cleave vnto that which is good.”
Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Temptation — God cannot be the subject of -- Jas 1:13. Does not come from God -- Jas 1:13. Comes from Lusts. -- Jas 1:14. Covetousness. -- Pr 28:20; 1Ti 6:9,10. The devil is the author of -- 1Ch 21:1; Mt 4:1; Joh 13:2; 1Th 3:5. Evil associates, the instruments of -- Pr 1:10; 7:6; 16:29. Often arises through Poverty. -- Pr 30:9; Mt 4:2,3. Prosperity. -- Pr 30:9; Mt 4:8. Worldly glory. -- Nu 22:17; Da 4:30; 5:2; Mt 4:8. To distrust of God's providence -- Mt 4:3. To presumption -- Mt 4:6. To worshipping the god of this world -- Mt 4:9. Often strengthened by the perversi”
Easton's Bible Dictionary “Easton's Bible Dictionary: Lust — Sinful longing; the inward sin which leads to the falling away from God (Rom. 1:21). "Lust, the origin of sin, has its place in the heart, not of necessity, but because it is the centre of all moral forces and impulses and of spiritual activity." In Mark 4:19 "lusts" are objects of desire.”
Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Love to Man — Is of God -- 1Jo 4:7. Commanded by God -- 1Jo 4:21. Commanded by Christ -- Joh 13:34; 15:12; 1Jo 3:23. After the example of Christ -- Joh 13:34; 15:12; Eph 5:2. Taught by God -- 1Th 4:9. Faith works by -- Ga 5:6. A fruit of the Spirit -- Ga 5:22; Col 1:8. Purity of heart leads to -- 1Pe 1:22. Explained -- 1Co 13:4-7. Is an active principle -- 1Th 1:3; Heb 6:10. Is an abiding principle -- 1Co 13:8,13. Is the second great commandment -- Mt 22:37-39. Is the end of the commandment -- 1Ti 1:5. Supernatural gifts are nothing without -- 1Co 13:1,2. The greates”
Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Love to Christ — Exhibited by God -- Mt 17:5; Joh 5:20. Exhibited by saints -- 1Pe 1:8. His personal excellence is deserving of -- Song 5:9-16. His love to us a motive to -- 2Co 5:14. Manifested in Seeking him. -- Song 3:2. Obeying him. -- Joh 14:15,21,23. Ministering to him. -- Mt 27:55; 25:40. Preferring him to all others. -- Mt 10:37. Taking up the cross for Him. -- Mt 10:38. A characteristic of saints -- Song 1:4. An evidence of adoption -- Joh 8:42. Should be Sincere. -- Eph 6:24. With the soul. -- Song 1:7. In proportion to our mercies. -- Lu 7:47. Supreme. -- ”
Psalms (Nonconformist/Puritan) “Matthew Henry on Psalms 42:1: Holy love to God as the chief good and our felicity is the power of godliness, the very life and soul of religion, without which all external professions and performances are but a shell and carcase: now here we have some of the expressions of that love. Here is, I. Holy love thirsting, love upon the wing, soaring upwards in holy desires towards the Lord and towards the remembrance of his name (Psa 42:1, Psa 42:2): "My soul panteth, thirsteth, for God, for nothing more than God, but still for more and more of him." Now observe, 1. When it was that David thus expre”
1 Thessalonians (Baptist/Reformed) “John Gill on 1 Thessalonians 4:5: Not in the lust of concupiscence,.... Or "passion of lust"; for the mere gratifying and indulging of that; for a man so to possess his vessel, is to cherish the sin of concupiscence, the first motions of sin in the heart, by which a man is drawn away, and enticed; to blow up the flame of lust, and to make provision for the flesh to fulfil the lusts thereof: even as the Gentiles which know not God; for, though they knew him, or might know him with a natural knowledge, by the light and works of nature, yet they knew him not savingly and spiritually, as he is r”
Exodus (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Exodus 20:5: 20:5-6 jealous God: God is passionately opposed to our prostituting ourselves with false gods (see Josh 24:19-20). • in the third and fourth generations . . . for a thousand generations: It is important to keep both sides of this equation together. God does not punish children for their parents’ sins. Rather, he is saying that our sins affect future generations of descendants. But he is also restricting the natural effects of those sins to three or four generations, while graciously extending the effects of obedience to a thousand generations (see also 34:6-7; Deu”
CCEL/NPNF (Eastern Orthodox) “John Chrysostom, Homilies on Galatians–Colossians–Thessalonians: would not succor him, one who knew him not has stood by him, and succored him. But the spiritual love is higher than all, as it were some queen ruling her subjects; and in her form is bright: for not as the other, hath she aught of earth for her parent; neither habitual intercourse, nor benefits, nor nature, nor time; but she descendeth from above, out of heaven. And why wonderest thou that she needeth no benefits in order that she should subsist, seeing that neither by injuries is she overthrown? Now that this love is greater th”
CCEL/NPNF (Eastern Orthodox) “John Chrysostom, Homilies on Acts & Romans: Homily IV. Rom. I. 26, 27 “For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: and likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one towards another.” All these affections then were vile, but chiefly the mad lust after males; for the soul is more the sufferer in sins, and more dishonored, than the body in diseases. But behold how here too, as in the case of the doctrines, he deprives them of excuse, by saying of the women, that “th”
CCEL/NPNF (Eastern Orthodox) “John Chrysostom, Homilies on Galatians–Colossians–Thessalonians: for there are two; the first of grace, the second of retribution and justice. “That denying ungodliness,” he says, “and worldly lusts.” See here the foundation of all virtue. He has not said “avoiding,” but “denying.” Denying implies the greatest distance, the greatest hatred and aversion. With as much resolution and zeal as they turned from idols, with so much let them turn from vice itself, and worldly lusts. For these too are idols, that is, worldly lusts, and covetousness, and this he names idolatry. Whatever things are usefu”
Psalms (Baptist/Reformed) “John Gill on Psalms 119:84: Quicken me after thy lovingkindness,.... According to it, and with it; let me have some discoveries of it, and of interest in it; and that will quicken me, revive and comfort me, under all the reproaches, ill usage, and persecutions of men. The love of God shed abroad in the heart comforts and supports under all sorts of afflictions; it quickens the graces of the Spirit, and brings them forth into lively exercise, as faith, hope, and love; and to a diligent and fervent discharge of every duty: it constrains to love the Lord, and live to him, to his glory, in obedien”
Sefaria (Jewish (Rationalist)) “Abraham Ibn Ezra on Leviticus 18:6: The meaning of I am the Lord is that God loves the one who separates himself to serve God and to obey his word. What happened at Mount Sinai is proof. 21 Before the revelation Israel had to separate themselves from sexual relations and sanctify themselves. See Ex. 19:15. The first man is proof. 22 According to I.E., Adam experienced sexual desire only after eating from the tree of knowledge. See I.E. on Gen. 3:6 (Vol. 1, p. 67). He was expelled from the presence of the Lord because of his lust. This is the secret of man. 23 Man is to separate himself from th”
CCEL/NPNF (Eastern Orthodox) “John Chrysostom, Homilies on Galatians–Colossians–Thessalonians: love that is shown by his words? “Make you to increase and abound,” 986 986 The words are strong, “make you to exceed and overflow.” instead of cause you to grow. As if one should say, that with a kind of superabundance he desires to be loved by them. “Even as we do also toward you,” he says. Our part is already done, we pray that yours may be done. Do you see how he wishes love to be extended, not only toward one another, but everywhere? For this truly is the nature of godly love, that it embraces all. If you love indeed such an”

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