Parental Expectations and Financial Support for a Non-Traditional Wedding
Parental Expectations and Financial Support for Non-Traditional Weddings
In ancient Jewish tradition, parents were expected to provide financial support for their daughters upon marriage. The Babylonian Talmud outlines that a father's estate is obligated to provide for his daughter's sustenance, even after his death [8]. This obligation is rooted in the understanding that a father has a duty to support his daughter until she is married [5].
The financial responsibilities associated with marriage, including dowries, were also a significant consideration. In biblical times, the father of the bride could expect a dowry for his unmarried daughter (Deuteronomy 22:29) [2]. The amount and nature of the dowry varied, with some sources indicating that it was negotiable and dependent on the agreement between the families [1].
Early Christian writers, such as Tertullian, cautioned against the emphasis on dowries and material wealth in marriage arrangements. Instead, they emphasized the importance of spiritual compatibility and the union between partners in faith [3]. This perspective is echoed in the writings of Augustine, who highlighted the blessings of matrimony, including offspring, fidelity, and the sacramental bond [7].
The role of parents in arranging marriages also varied across cultures and traditions. In some cases, parents played a significant role in selecting a spouse for their child, as seen in the example of Abraham's instructions to his servant to find a wife for Isaac from among their own kin [9]. In other cases, the decision was left to the individual, with the parents providing guidance and support.
In the context of non-traditional weddings, the question of parental expectations and financial support becomes more complex. While there is no clear biblical or patristic guidance on this specific issue, the underlying principles of mutual support, respect, and consideration between parents and children remain relevant. The Jewish tradition, as reflected in the Babylonian Talmud, suggests that parents have a responsibility to support their children, including providing for their daughters' well-being, even if the marriage arrangements are non-traditional [4, 6].
Sources
- Mishneh Torah (Maimonides) (Jewish (Rabbinic)) “Mishneh Torah (Maimonides), Mishneh Torah%2C Marriage 23:17: When a man marries a woman and makes a commitment to support her daughter for [an explicit number of] years, he is obligated to support her for [all] the years to which he committed himself, provided he made this commitment at the time of the woman's consecration. 27 Generally, such commitments are not binding, for the commitment does not have a specific scope. In most situations, only when a definite sum is mentioned is the commitment obligatory. (See Shulchan Aruch , Even HaEzer 114.) If, however, he made the commitment [after] the”
- Deuteronomy (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Deuteronomy 22:29: 22:29 fifty pieces of silver: The father could still expect a dowry for his unmarried daughter (see Gen 34:12; Exod 22:16). • he must marry: The assumption is that the girl and her father were willing to undertake the arrangement (see Exod 22:17).”
- Schaff ANF/NPNF (Patristic) “ANF Vol 4: Tertullian IV, Minucius Felix, Commodian, Origen — CHAP. VIII.--ARGUMENTS DRAWN EVEN FROM HEATHENISH LAWS TO DISCOUNTENANCE MARRIAGE WITH UNBELIEVERS. THE HAPPINESS OF UNION BETWEEN PARTNERS IN THE FAITH ENLARGED ON IN CONCLUSION. (part 2): pour," not the rich, "whose are the kingdoms of the heavens,"[5] the rich will find more in the poor (than she brings him, or than she would in the rich). She will be dowered with an ampler dowry from the goods of him who is rich in God. Let her be on an equality with him. on earth, who in the heavens will perhaps not be so. Is there need for dou”
- Babylonian Talmud (Jewish (Rabbinic)) “Babylonian Talmud, Ketubot 102b.3: Rava said: Rav’s statement is reasonable in a case of a father whose daughter is a young woman, since the father derives benefit from this betrothal. The money given by the groom for the betrothal, as well as the rights to the bride’s marriage contract, belong to the father of the bride. Consequently, he accepts through verbal agreement alone the obligation to pay the money he specified. However, in the case of a grown woman, where the father does not derive benefit from the betrothal because the rights to the betrothal money and marriage contract belong to t”
- Mishneh Torah (Maimonides) (Jewish (Rabbinic)) “Mishneh Torah (Maimonides), Mishneh Torah%2C Marriage 21:18: What is implied? If the father is [wealthy enough] to be obligated to give charity, the money necessary for his daughter's support should be expropriated from him and used to support the daughter, while she is in her mother's custody. Even if the mother marries another [man], her daughter remains in her custody, and the father is obligated to provide for her sustenance until his death, as an act of charity. [Moreover, even if the girl's] father dies, she is entitled to receive her sustenance from his estate, as a provision of [her mo”
- Babylonian Talmud (Jewish (Rabbinic)) “Babylonian Talmud, Bava Batra 139a.12: Rav Yehuda says that this is what it is saying: If the adults married after their father’s death and used the common inheritance to pay for their weddings, the minors that marry after their father’s death may also pay for their weddings from the common inheritance. But if the adults married during their father’s lifetime, and the minors said after their father’s death: We will marry in the same manner that you married, the court does not listen to them. Rather, whatever sum their father gave the adults to pay for their weddings in his lifetime he gave the”
- Schaff ANF/NPNF (Patristic) “NPNF1 Vol 5: Augustine — Anti-Pelagian — CHAP. 19 [XVII.]--BLESSING OF MATRIMONY.: In matrimony, however, let these nuptial blessings be the objects of our love--offspring, fidelity, the sacramental bond.[9] Offspring, not that it be born only, but born again; for it is born to punishment unless it be born again to life. Fidelity, not such as even unbelievers observe one towards the other, in their ardent love of the flesh. For what husband, however impious himself, likes an adulterous wife? Or what wife, however impious she be, likes an adulterous husband? This is indeed a natural good in ma”
- Babylonian Talmud (Jewish (Rabbinic)) “Babylonian Talmud, Ketubot 68b.13: Rather, what is the meaning of the statement: Support is not treated like a stipulation in the marriage contract? This statement has implications with regard to that which is taught in a baraita : In the case of one who says in his will that his daughters should not be sustained from his estate, one does not listen to him, as it is not his prerogative to abrogate this obligation. But if he says that his daughters should not be supported from his estate, one does listen to him, as the legal status of the dowry is not like that of a stipulation in the marriage ”
- Genesis (Presbyterian) “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown on Genesis 24:3: thou shalt not take a wife, &c.--Among pastoral tribes the matrimonial arrangements are made by the parents, and a youth must marry, not among strangers, but in his own tribe--custom giving him a claim, which is seldom or never resisted, to the hand of his first cousin. But Abraham had a far higher motive--a fear lest, if his son married into a Canaanitish family, he might be gradually led away from the true God.”