Parental Influence on Adult Children's Spiritual Lives and Repentance
Parents play a significant role in the spiritual development and potential repentance of their adult children, a responsibility rooted in biblical teachings concerning family and discipleship. Scripture consistently emphasizes the duty of parents to instruct and guide their children in the ways of God from an early age [1, 2].
The Bible presents children as a gift from God, capable of glorifying Him [2]. Parents receive their children from God and are tasked with loving them, bringing them to Christ, and training them for God [1]. This training includes instructing them in God's word, telling them of God's judgments and miraculous works, and commanding them to obey God [1]. Proverbs 22:6, for instance, advises, "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it." Ephesians 6:4 further instructs fathers not to provoke their children to anger, but to bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord [1]. This relationship between parents and children is intended to reflect their devotion to the Lord, with children obeying their parents and parents gently disciplining their children [3]. Matthew Henry notes that children's obedience to pious parents can set them on a path to piety themselves [5].
While the primary emphasis is on childhood instruction, the long-term impact of this upbringing extends into adulthood. The concept of spiritual maturity is sometimes described in terms of "children," "young in the faith," and "fathers," indicating a progression in spiritual understanding and experience [6]. The instruction given in childhood is meant to establish a foundation that endures. Deuteronomy 4:9 and 11:19, for example, call for parents to teach God's words diligently to their children and grandchildren [1]. Similarly, Psalm 78:4 speaks of telling future generations "the glorious deeds of the Lord, and his might, and the wonders that he has done." This continuous transmission of faith suggests an ongoing influence.
However, the Bible also acknowledges that adult children are responsible for their own choices. While the sins of one generation can have consequences that last for generations, children are not punished for the wrongdoings of their parents [4]. This indicates that while parental influence is profound, it does not negate an individual's personal accountability before God. The call for children to obey and honor their parents (Exodus 20:12, Hebrews 12:9) is a lifelong principle, but it operates within the context of an individual's personal relationship with God [2].
Sources
- Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Parents — Receive their children from God -- Ge 33:5; 1Sa 1:27; Ps 127:3. Their duty to their children is To love them. -- Tit 2:4. To bring them to Christ. -- Mt 19:13,14. To train them up for God. -- Pr 22:6; Eph 6:4. To instruct them in God's word. -- De 4:9; 11:19; Isa 38:19. To tell them of God's judgments. -- Joe 1:3. To tell them of the miraculous works of God. -- Ex 10:2; Ps 78:4. To command them to obey God. -- De 32:46; 1Ch 28:9. To bless them. -- Ge 48:15; Heb 11:20. To pity them. -- Ps 103:13. To provide for them. -- Job 42:15; 2Co 12:14; 1Ti 5:8. To rule”
- Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Children — Christ was an example to -- Lu 2:51; Joh 19:26,27. Are a gift from God -- Ge 33:5; Ps 127:3. Are capable of glorifying God -- Ps 8:2; 148:12,13; Mt 21:15,16. Should be Brought to Christ. -- Mr 10:13-16. Brought early to the house of God. -- 1Sa 1:24. Instructed in the ways of God. -- De 31:12,13; Pr 22:6. Judiciously trained. -- Pr 22:15; 29:17; Eph 6:4. Should Obey God. -- De 30:2. Fear God. -- Pr 24:21. Remember God. -- Ec 12:1. Attend to parental teaching. -- Pr 1:8,9. Honour parents. -- Ex 20:12; Heb 12:9. Fear parents. -- Le 19:3. Obey parents. -- Pr ”
- Ephesians (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Ephesians 6:1: 6:1-4 The relationship between parents and children is to be a reflection of their devotion to the Lord. Christian children are to obey their parents, and Christian parents are to discipline their children gently (see Col 3:20-21).”
- Deuteronomy (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Deuteronomy 5:9: 5:9 The children of sinful parents are not punished for the wrongdoings of their mothers and fathers, but the sins of any generation have consequences that last for generations (see 2 Sam 12:10). • The term reject (literally hate) does not relate to having bitter and hostile feelings but to forsaking a relationship.”
- Ephesians (Nonconformist/Puritan) “Matthew Henry on Ephesians 6:1: Here we have further directions concerning relative duties, in which the apostle is very particular. I. The duty of children to their parents. Come, you children, hearken to me, I will teach you the fear of the Lord. The great duty of children is to obey their parents (Eph 6:1), parents being the instruments of their being, God and nature having given them an authority to command, in subserviency to God; and, if children will be obedient to their pious parents, they will be in a fair way to be pious as they are. That obedience which God demands from their childr”
- 1 John (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on 1 John 2:12: 2:12-14 John gives three classes of believers at various stages of spiritual maturity: God’s children, the young in the faith (literally young people), and the mature in the faith (literally fathers).”