Parental Responsibility in Spiritual Guidance and Child Development
Parents receive their children as a gift from God, as indicated in passages like Genesis 33:5, 1 Samuel 1:27, and Psalm 127:3 [1]. This divine gift entails significant responsibilities for parents, particularly in the spiritual and developmental guidance of their offspring.
A primary duty of parents is to love their children, as exhorted in Titus 2:4 [1]. Beyond affection, parents are called to actively bring their children to Christ, echoing the sentiment of Matthew 19:13-14 [1]. The overarching goal is to train children "for God," a principle articulated in Proverbs 22:6 and Ephesians 6:4 [1]. This training involves instructing them in God's word (Deuteronomy 4:9, 11:19; Isaiah 38:19), recounting God's judgments (Joel 1:3), and sharing His miraculous works (Exodus 10:2; Psalm 78:4) [1]. Parents are also to command their children to obey God (Deuteronomy 32:46; 1 Chronicles 28:9), to bless them (Genesis 48:15; Hebrews 11:20), and to pity them (Psalm 103:13) [1]. Providing for their children's physical needs is also a parental responsibility (Job 42:15; 2 Corinthians 12:14; 1 Timothy 5:8) [1].
The New Testament further elaborates on these duties, particularly in Ephesians 6:1-4. This passage outlines the mutual duties between parents and children, emphasizing that these relationships should reflect their devotion to the Lord [3, 2]. Children are commanded to obey their parents "in the Lord" [3, 9]. This obedience is understood as an implicit and unreasoning submission to parental authority, which is given by God and nature [3, 4]. Matthew Henry notes that if children are obedient to pious parents, they are "in a fair way to be pious as they are" [4].
For parents, specifically fathers, Ephesians 6:4 instructs them not to provoke their children to anger but to bring them up "in the discipline and instruction of the Lord" [8]. This means that parental discipline should not be harsh or unjust, which can alienate children [8]. Instead, discipline should be loving and gentle, aimed at drawing children closer to the Lord rather than turning them away [8]. The wisdom of children, particularly their acceptance of parental discipline, is seen as reflecting credit on their parents and contributing to their aid [5, 6]. Discipline, in both Greco-Roman and Jewish contexts, was considered a necessary and healthy component of preparing a child for adulthood [7]. A lack of fatherly discipline, in the context of Hebrews 12:7-8, is even presented as a mark of illegitimacy rather than a blessing [7]. Therefore, parents are to provide discipline and instruction that aligns with God's ways, teaching children a lifestyle that pleases God [8].
Sources
- Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Parents — Receive their children from God -- Ge 33:5; 1Sa 1:27; Ps 127:3. Their duty to their children is To love them. -- Tit 2:4. To bring them to Christ. -- Mt 19:13,14. To train them up for God. -- Pr 22:6; Eph 6:4. To instruct them in God's word. -- De 4:9; 11:19; Isa 38:19. To tell them of God's judgments. -- Joe 1:3. To tell them of the miraculous works of God. -- Ex 10:2; Ps 78:4. To command them to obey God. -- De 32:46; 1Ch 28:9. To bless them. -- Ge 48:15; Heb 11:20. To pity them. -- Ps 103:13. To provide for them. -- Job 42:15; 2Co 12:14; 1Ti 5:8. To rule”
- Ephesians (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Ephesians 6:1: 6:1-4 The relationship between parents and children is to be a reflection of their devotion to the Lord. Christian children are to obey their parents, and Christian parents are to discipline their children gently (see Col 3:20-21).”
- Ephesians (Presbyterian) “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown on Ephesians 6 (introduction): MUTUAL DUTIES OF PARENTS AND CHILDREN: MASTERS AND SERVANTS: OUR LIFE A WARFARE: THE SPIRITUAL ARMOUR NEEDED AGAINST SPIRITUAL FOES. CONCLUSION. (Eph. 6:1-24) obey--stronger than the expression as to wives, "submitting," or "being subject" (Eph 5:21). Obedience is more unreasoning and implicit; submission is the willing subjection of an inferior in point of order to one who has a right to command. in the Lord--Both parents and children being Christians "in the Lord," expresses the element in which the obedience is to take place, and t”
- Ephesians (Nonconformist/Puritan) “Matthew Henry on Ephesians 6:1: Here we have further directions concerning relative duties, in which the apostle is very particular. I. The duty of children to their parents. Come, you children, hearken to me, I will teach you the fear of the Lord. The great duty of children is to obey their parents (Eph 6:1), parents being the instruments of their being, God and nature having given them an authority to command, in subserviency to God; and, if children will be obedient to their pious parents, they will be in a fair way to be pious as they are. That obedience which God demands from their childr”
- Proverbs (Presbyterian) “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown on Proverbs 27:11: The wisdom of children both reflects credit on parents and contributes to their aid in difficulties.”
- Proverbs (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Proverbs 13:1: 13:1 A wise child accepts a parent’s discipline: Gaining wisdom requires discipline and correction.”
- Hebrews (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Hebrews 12:7: 12:7-8 disciplined by its father: Fathers from Greco-Roman as well as Jewish families were involved in day-to-day aspects of raising their children. Discipline was seen as a necessary, healthy, and important component of preparing the child for adulthood. A lack of fatherly discipline—in this case, a lack of hardships in life—is a mark of illegitimacy, not a blessing.”
- Ephesians (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Ephesians 6:4: 6:4 Fathers can often provoke their children to anger by being harsh or unjust (see Col 3:21). Parents should give their children the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord (or the discipline and instruction about the Lord) so that they will learn a way of living that is good and pleases God. Such discipline is not to be excessive, but loving and gentle, so that children are not turned from the Lord but are drawn to him (cp. Heb 12:5-11).”
- Ephesians (Baptist/Reformed) “John Gill on Ephesians 6:1: Children, obey your parents in the Lord,.... The persons whose duty this is, "children", are such of every sex, male and female, and of every age, and of every state and condition; and though the true, legitimate, and immediate offspring of men may be chiefly respected, yet not exclusive of spurious children, and adopted ones, and of children-in-law; and the persons to whom obedience from them is due, are not only real and immediate parents, both father and mother, but such who are in the room of parents, as step-fathers, step-mothers, guardians, nurses, &c. and all”