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Parenting a Strong-Willed Christian Teenager Successfully

Biblical teachings emphasize the importance of children's obedience and respect for parents, while also highlighting the parents' role in instruction and discipline. Children are encouraged to obey their parents, as this is pleasing to God [1, 4]. This obedience is presented as a reflection of devotion to the Lord [11].

Scripture describes children as a gift from God, capable of glorifying Him [4]. They are to be brought to Christ and instructed early in the ways of God [4]. Proverbs 22:6 advises parents to "train up a child in the way he should go," and Proverbs 29:17 suggests that judicious training brings rest and delight [4]. The instruction of children includes teaching them to know the Scriptures, which are able to make them wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus [1, 5]. Parents are also called to discipline their children gently [11]. Proverbs 13:1 notes that a wise child accepts a parent's discipline, recognizing that gaining wisdom often requires correction [13].

The relationship between parents and children is intended to reflect their devotion to God [11]. Children are exhorted to honor their parents, a command found in the Ten Commandments (Exodus 20:12) and reiterated in the New Testament (Hebrews 12:9) [4]. This honor extends to taking care of parents in their old age [1]. When children are wise and good, they bring comfort and joy to their parents, making their hearts glad [1, 9].

For teenagers, particularly those described as strong-willed, the biblical counsel remains relevant. Paul encourages Timothy, whom he addresses as "my son," to "be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus" [2, 3]. This strength in grace is understood as a call to constancy and perseverance, especially as trials increase, requiring stronger faith and resolution [12]. This concept suggests that spiritual strength, rooted in Christ, is vital for navigating life's challenges.

Christian conduct, in general, involves believing, fearing, and loving God, as well as following and obeying Him [6]. It also includes believing in, loving, following the example of, and obeying Christ [6]. These principles apply to teenagers as they mature. The goal of Christian upbringing is to foster mature Christians who possess a well-grounded knowledge of the Gospel and Christ, enabling them to discern and resist false teachings [10]. This maturity helps prevent them from being "tossed and blown about" by various doctrines [10].

Meekness is also presented as a fruit of the Spirit and a characteristic that saints should seek and put on [7]. Christ Himself set an example of meekness [7]. This quality is valuable in all relationships, including those within families, and is precious in the sight of God [7].

Children are also likened to "arrows in the hand of a mighty man," suggesting they can be strong and effective, defending their parents and contributing to the family's well-being as they grow [8]. This imagery highlights the potential for children, when raised well, to become a source of strength and protection.

Sources

  1. Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Children, Good — The Lord is with -- 1Sa 3:19. Know the Scriptures -- 2Ti 3:15. Observe the law of God -- Pr 28:7. Their obedience to parents is well pleasing to God -- Col 3:20. Partake of the promises of God -- Ac 2:39. Shall be blessed -- Pr 3:1-4; Eph 6:2,3. Show love to parents -- Ge 46:29. Obey parents -- Ge 28:7; 47:30. Attend to parental teaching -- Pr 13:1. Take care of parents -- Ge 45:9,11; 47:12. Make their parents' hearts glad -- Pr 10:1; 29:17. Honour the aged -- Job 32:6,7. Adduced as a motive for submission to God -- Heb 12:9. Spirit of, a requisite f”
  2. II Timothy “II Timothy 2:1 (BBE) — So then, my child, be strong in the grace which is in Christ Jesus.”
  3. King James Version “[KJV] 2 Timothy 2:1 — Thou therefore, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus.”
  4. Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Children — Christ was an example to -- Lu 2:51; Joh 19:26,27. Are a gift from God -- Ge 33:5; Ps 127:3. Are capable of glorifying God -- Ps 8:2; 148:12,13; Mt 21:15,16. Should be Brought to Christ. -- Mr 10:13-16. Brought early to the house of God. -- 1Sa 1:24. Instructed in the ways of God. -- De 31:12,13; Pr 22:6. Judiciously trained. -- Pr 22:15; 29:17; Eph 6:4. Should Obey God. -- De 30:2. Fear God. -- Pr 24:21. Remember God. -- Ec 12:1. Attend to parental teaching. -- Pr 1:8,9. Honour parents. -- Ex 20:12; Heb 12:9. Fear parents. -- Le 19:3. Obey parents. -- Pr ”
  5. II Timothy “II Timothy 3:15 (LEB) — and that from childhood you have known the holy writings that are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus.”
  6. Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Conduct, Christian — Believing God -- Mr 11:22; Joh 14:11,12. Fearing God -- Ec 12:13; 1Pe 2:17. Loving God -- De 6:5; Mt 22:37. Following God -- Eph 5:1; 1Pe 1:15,16. Obeying God -- Lu 1:6; 1Jo 5:3. Rejoicing in God -- Ps 33:1; Hab 3:18. Believing in Christ -- Joh 6:29; 1Jo 3:23. Loving Christ -- Joh 21:15; 1Pe 1:7,8. Following the example of Christ -- Joh 13:15; 1Pe 2:21-24. Obeying Christ -- Joh 14:21; 15:14. Living To Christ. -- Ro 14:8; 2Co 5:15. To righteousness. -- Mic 6:8; Ro 6:18; 1Pe 2:24. Soberly, righteously, and godly. -- Tit 2:12. Walking Honestly. -- 1”
  7. Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Meekness — Christ set an example of -- Ps 45:4; Isa 53:7; Mt 11:29; 21:5; 2Co 10:1; 1Pe 2:21-23. His teaching -- Mt 5:38-45. A fruit of the Spirit -- Ga 5:22,23. Saints should Seek. -- Zep 2:3. Put on. -- Col 3:12-13. Receive the word of God with. -- Jas 1:21. Exhibit, in conduct, &c. -- Jas 3:13. Answer for their hope with. -- 1Pe 3:15. Show to all men. -- Tit 3:2. Restore the erring with. -- Ga 6:1. Precious in the sight of God -- 1Pe 3:4. Ministers should Follow after. -- 1Ti 6:11. Instruct opposers with. -- 2Ti 2:24,25. Urge, on their people. -- Tit 3:1,2. A char”
  8. Psalms (Baptist/Reformed) “John Gill on Psalms 127:4: As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man,.... Are shot out with great strength; come with much force, and do execution, and do not return in vain; with which men defend themselves, and annoy their enemies; see Jer 50:9; so are children of the youth: not young children, or children in their youth; but such who are born to their parents when they are in their youth; and which are generally healthful and strong, and their parents live to see them grown up; and who are useful to protect them, and defend their persons and properties from enemies when grown old and feeb”
  9. Proverbs (Nonconformist/Puritan) “Matthew Henry on Proverbs 27:11: Children are here exhorted to be wise and good, 1. That they may be a comfort to their parents and may make their hearts glad, even when the evil days come, and so recompense them for their care, Pro 23:15. 2. That they may be a credit to them: "That I may answer him that reproaches me with having been over-strict and severe in bringing up my children, and having taken a wrong method with them in restraining them from the liberties which other young people take. My son, be wise, and then it will appear, in the effect, that I went the wisest way to work with my ”
  10. Ephesians (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Ephesians 4:14: 4:14 We won’t be tossed and blown about: Mature Christians, with a well-grounded knowledge of the Good News and of Christ himself, will be able to discern and resist false teaching (see Gal 1:6-7; 3:1; Col 2:8-23; 1 Tim 1:3-7; 4:1-3; 6:3-5, 20; 2 Tim 4:3-4; Titus 1:11).”
  11. Ephesians (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Ephesians 6:1: 6:1-4 The relationship between parents and children is to be a reflection of their devotion to the Lord. Christian children are to obey their parents, and Christian parents are to discipline their children gently (see Col 3:20-21).”
  12. 2 Timothy (Nonconformist/Puritan) “Matthew Henry on 2 Timothy 2:1: Here Paul encourages Timothy to constancy and perseverance in his work: Be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus, Ti2 2:1. Observe, Those who have work to do for God must stir up themselves to do it, and strengthen themselves for it. Being strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus may be understood in opposition to the weakness of grace. Where there is the truth of grace there must be a labouring after the strength of grace. As our trials increase, we have need to grow stronger and stronger in that which is good; our faith stronger, our resolution strong”
  13. Proverbs (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Proverbs 13:1: 13:1 A wise child accepts a parent’s discipline: Gaining wisdom requires discipline and correction.”
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