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Parenting with Purpose in a Christian Context

Christian parenting is understood as a purposeful endeavor to raise children in accordance with biblical principles, reflecting their identity as gifts from God [3]. This involves a range of duties for parents and corresponding expectations for children, all aimed at fostering a life of faith and obedience to God.

Parents are seen as receiving their children from God [1], and their primary duty is to train them for God [1]. This training encompasses instructing them in God's word [1], teaching them about God's judgments and miraculous works [1], and commanding them to obey God [1]. The book of Proverbs emphasizes the importance of this early instruction, stating, "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it" (Proverbs 22:6) [1]. Matthew Henry interprets this as catechizing children, initiating them into faith, and keeping them under discipline, much like soldiers are trained [8]. This training is not merely academic but involves preparing children for life, keeping them from "sins and snares" [8].

Beyond instruction, parents are called to love their children [1] and to bring them to Christ [1]. This includes providing for them [1], blessing them [1], and pitying them [1]. The apostle Paul, in 2 Corinthians, likens his care for the Corinthians to a loving father who spends all he has on his children, even expending his own strength for their well-being [13].

The New Testament further elaborates on the parent-child relationship. Ephesians 6:4 instructs fathers not to provoke their children to anger but to bring them up "in the discipline and instruction of the Lord" [10]. This discipline is to be loving and gentle, drawing children to the Lord rather than alienating them [10]. The term "fathers" in this context often includes mothers, with fathers specifically mentioned as the source of domestic authority, though they are more prone to passion, while mothers might be prone to over-indulgence [11]. Discipline, in both Greco-Roman and Jewish traditions, was considered essential for preparing a child for adulthood [12]. A lack of such discipline was seen as a mark of illegitimacy rather than a blessing [12].

Children, in turn, have duties towards their parents and God. They are to obey their parents [2, 3], honor them [3], and attend to their teaching [2, 3]. This obedience is "well pleasing to God" (Colossians 3:20) [2]. Good children are described as those who know the Scriptures, observe God's law, and show love to their parents [2]. They are also expected to care for their parents and make their parents' hearts glad [2]. The ultimate goal for children is to obey God, fear God, and remember God [3].

The concept of Christian conduct extends to all believers, including children, emphasizing believing God, fearing God, loving God, and obeying God [6]. The apostle John addresses believers as "my little children," urging them not to sin and reminding them of Christ as their advocate [4, 5]. This familial language underscores the close relationship believers have with God through adoption [7]. The overall aim of Christian upbringing is for children to mature in the Lord, understanding and experiencing the Christian faith more deeply, with Christ himself as the standard of maturity [9].

Sources

  1. Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Parents — Receive their children from God -- Ge 33:5; 1Sa 1:27; Ps 127:3. Their duty to their children is To love them. -- Tit 2:4. To bring them to Christ. -- Mt 19:13,14. To train them up for God. -- Pr 22:6; Eph 6:4. To instruct them in God's word. -- De 4:9; 11:19; Isa 38:19. To tell them of God's judgments. -- Joe 1:3. To tell them of the miraculous works of God. -- Ex 10:2; Ps 78:4. To command them to obey God. -- De 32:46; 1Ch 28:9. To bless them. -- Ge 48:15; Heb 11:20. To pity them. -- Ps 103:13. To provide for them. -- Job 42:15; 2Co 12:14; 1Ti 5:8. To rule”
  2. Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Children, Good — The Lord is with -- 1Sa 3:19. Know the Scriptures -- 2Ti 3:15. Observe the law of God -- Pr 28:7. Their obedience to parents is well pleasing to God -- Col 3:20. Partake of the promises of God -- Ac 2:39. Shall be blessed -- Pr 3:1-4; Eph 6:2,3. Show love to parents -- Ge 46:29. Obey parents -- Ge 28:7; 47:30. Attend to parental teaching -- Pr 13:1. Take care of parents -- Ge 45:9,11; 47:12. Make their parents' hearts glad -- Pr 10:1; 29:17. Honour the aged -- Job 32:6,7. Adduced as a motive for submission to God -- Heb 12:9. Spirit of, a requisite f”
  3. Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Children — Christ was an example to -- Lu 2:51; Joh 19:26,27. Are a gift from God -- Ge 33:5; Ps 127:3. Are capable of glorifying God -- Ps 8:2; 148:12,13; Mt 21:15,16. Should be Brought to Christ. -- Mr 10:13-16. Brought early to the house of God. -- 1Sa 1:24. Instructed in the ways of God. -- De 31:12,13; Pr 22:6. Judiciously trained. -- Pr 22:15; 29:17; Eph 6:4. Should Obey God. -- De 30:2. Fear God. -- Pr 24:21. Remember God. -- Ec 12:1. Attend to parental teaching. -- Pr 1:8,9. Honour parents. -- Ex 20:12; Heb 12:9. Fear parents. -- Le 19:3. Obey parents. -- Pr ”
  4. 1 John “My little children, I write these things to you so that you may not sin. If anyone sins, we have a Counselor with the Father, Jesus Christ, the righteous. -- 1 John 2:1”
  5. I John “I John 2:1 (Rotherham) — My dear children! these things, am I writing unto you, in order that ye may not be committing sin. And, if anyone should commit sin, an Advocate, have we, with the Father, Jesus Christ, the Righteous;”
  6. Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Conduct, Christian — Believing God -- Mr 11:22; Joh 14:11,12. Fearing God -- Ec 12:13; 1Pe 2:17. Loving God -- De 6:5; Mt 22:37. Following God -- Eph 5:1; 1Pe 1:15,16. Obeying God -- Lu 1:6; 1Jo 5:3. Rejoicing in God -- Ps 33:1; Hab 3:18. Believing in Christ -- Joh 6:29; 1Jo 3:23. Loving Christ -- Joh 21:15; 1Pe 1:7,8. Following the example of Christ -- Joh 13:15; 1Pe 2:21-24. Obeying Christ -- Joh 14:21; 15:14. Living To Christ. -- Ro 14:8; 2Co 5:15. To righteousness. -- Mic 6:8; Ro 6:18; 1Pe 2:24. Soberly, righteously, and godly. -- Tit 2:12. Walking Honestly. -- 1”
  7. Smith's Bible Dictionary “Smith's Bible Dictionary: Adoption — an expression used by St. Paul in reference to the present and prospective privileges of Christians. (Romans 8:15,23; Galatians 4:5; Ephesians 1:5) He probably alludes to the Roman custom by which a person not having children of his own might adopt as his son one born of other parents. The relationship was to all intents and purposes the same as existed between a natural father and son. The term is used figuratively to show the close relationship to God of the Christian. (Galatians 4:4,5; Romans 8:14-17) He is received into God's family from the world, and ”
  8. Proverbs (Nonconformist/Puritan) “Matthew Henry on Proverbs 22:6: Here is, 1. A great duty enjoined, particularly to those that are the parents and instructors of children, in order to the propagating of wisdom, that it may not die with them: Train up children in that age of vanity, to keep them from the sins and snares of it, in that learning age, to prepare them for what they are designed for. Catechise them; initiate them; keep them under discipline. Train them as soldiers, who are taught to handle their arms, keep rank, and observe the word of command. Train them up, not in the way they would go (the bias of their corrupt ”
  9. Ephesians (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Ephesians 4:13: 4:13 The goal of ministry is for the whole Christian community to understand and experience the Christian faith more deeply and gain a deeper knowledge of God’s Son. In this way, believers will be mature in the Lord (see 1 Cor 2:6; 14:20; Phil 3:15; Col 1:28; 4:12; cp. Heb 5:14; Jas 1:4; 3:2). The standard of maturity is Christ himself; the Spirit’s transforming work is to make people fully like Christ (Rom 8:29).”
  10. Ephesians (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Ephesians 6:4: 6:4 Fathers can often provoke their children to anger by being harsh or unjust (see Col 3:21). Parents should give their children the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord (or the discipline and instruction about the Lord) so that they will learn a way of living that is good and pleases God. Such discipline is not to be excessive, but loving and gentle, so that children are not turned from the Lord but are drawn to him (cp. Heb 12:5-11).”
  11. Ephesians (Presbyterian) “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown on Ephesians 6:4: fathers--including mothers; the fathers are specified as being the fountains of domestic authority. Fathers are more prone to passion in relation to their children than mothers, whose fault is rather over-indulgence. provoke not--irritate not, by vexatious commands, unreasonable blame, and uncertain temper [ALFORD]. Col 3:21, "lest they be discouraged." nurture--Greek, "discipline," namely, training by chastening in act where needed (Job 5:17; Heb 12:7). admonition--training by words (Deu 6:7; "catechise," Pro 22:6, Margin), whether of encourag”
  12. Hebrews (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Hebrews 12:7: 12:7-8 disciplined by its father: Fathers from Greco-Roman as well as Jewish families were involved in day-to-day aspects of raising their children. Discipline was seen as a necessary, healthy, and important component of preparing the child for adulthood. A lack of fatherly discipline—in this case, a lack of hardships in life—is a mark of illegitimacy, not a blessing.”
  13. 2 Corinthians (Methodist/Wesleyan) “Adam Clarke on 2 Corinthians 12:15: And I will very gladly spend and be spent for you - I will continue to act as a loving father, who spends all he has upon his children, and expends his own strength and life in providing for them the things necessary for their preservation and comfort. Though the more abundantly I love you - I will even act towards you with the most affectionate tenderness, though it happen to me, as it often does to loving fathers, that their disobedient children love them less, in proportion as their love to them is increased. Does it not frequently happen that the most di”
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