Pastoral Guidance for Divorced Men in the Church

Pastoral guidance for divorced men in the church is rooted in biblical teachings on marriage, divorce, and the nature of the Christian community. The Mosaic Law permitted divorce, with regulations found in Deuteronomy 24:1-4 ^{[2, 4, 5]}. This law allowed a husband to divorce his wife, though there were specific cases where this right was lost, such as when a man falsely accused his wife (Deuteronomy 22:19, 29) ^[4]. Jewish doctors in the New Testament era held differing views on the grounds for divorce, with some, like the school of Shammai, limiting it to moral delinquency, while others, like the school of Hillel, extended it to very minor causes, such as a wife burning food ^[4].

Jesus, however, significantly limited the permission for divorce to the single case of adultery (Matthew 5:31-32; 19:1-9; Mark 10:11-12; Luke 16:18) ^[5]. These precepts from Christ are understood to regulate the law of divorce within the Christian Church ^[5]. The New Testament emphasizes the sanctity of marriage, stating that husbands should have only one wife and dwell with them for life (Genesis 2:24; Mark 10:6-8; 1 Corinthians 7:2-4; Matthew 19:3-9) ^[6].

The Apostle Paul also addressed divorce in 1 Corinthians 7:10-11, advising Christian couples. He noted that his counsel against divorce was grounded in known sayings of Jesus (Matthew 5:32; 19:9; Mark 10:11-12; Luke 16:18) ^[14]. While acknowledging that some couples might find it difficult to live together, Paul stressed the importance of honoring marriage vows and remaining faithful to one's spouse ^[14]. If a separation did occur, the individuals were to remain unmarried or be reconciled ^[14]. Paul also offered advice to the unmarried and widows, suggesting it is good for them to remain unmarried if they have the gift of continence, though he allowed for remarriage if they did not ^[15].

When considering divorced men within the church, the community aspect of the church is crucial. The church is described as the body of Christ, composed of many different parts, each with its own function, determined by God (1 Corinthians 12:12-31; Romans 12:4-5) ^{[8, 9, 10]}. This body is unified, and harmony and mutual care are essential (1 Corinthians 12:25-26) ^[13]. All believers are "one in Christ Jesus," transcending differences and fostering harmonious relationships (Galatians 3:28; Colossians 3:11; Ephesians 4:4-6) ^{[11, 12]}. This means that divorced men, like all other members, are integral to the church's functioning and spiritual well-being.

Pastoral care for divorced men should reflect the compassion and sympathy of Christ, who showed concern for the weary, the weak in faith, the tempted, the afflicted, and perishing sinners (Matthew 11:28-30; Hebrews 2:18; Luke 7:13; Matthew 9:36) ^[7]. The church is called to support its members, as seen in instructions regarding widows, where the community is to relieve those who are "widows indeed" so the church is not overly burdened (1 Timothy 5:16 KJV; Geneva 1599) ^{[1, 3]}. This principle of mutual support extends to all members facing difficult circumstances, including divorce. The church's role is to provide spiritual guidance, community, and practical support, helping individuals navigate their circumstances in a way that honors God and promotes their spiritual growth.

Sources

I Timothy “I Timothy 5:16 (Geneva1599) — If any faithfull man, or faithfull woman haue widowes, let them minister vnto them, and let not the Church bee charged, that there may bee sufficient for them that are widowes in deede.”
Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Divorce — Law of marriage against -- Ge 2:24; Mt 19:6. Permitted By the Mosaic law. -- De 24:1. On account of hardness of heart. -- Mt 19:8. Often sought by the Jews -- Mic 2:9; Mal 2:14. Sought on slight grounds -- Mt 5:31; 19:3. Not allowed to those who falsely accused their wives -- De 22:18,19. Women Could obtain. -- Pr 2:17; Mr 10:12. Could marry after. -- De 24:2. Responsible for vows after. -- Nu 30:9. Married after, could not return to first husband. -- De 24:3,4; Jer 3:1. Afflicted by. -- Isa 54:4,6. Priests not to marry women after -- Le 21:14. Of servants,”
King James Version “[KJV] 1 Timothy 5:16 — If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed.”
Smith's Bible Dictionary “Smith's Bible Dictionary: Divorce — "a legal dissolution of the marriage relation." The law regulating this subject is found (24:1-4) and the cases in which the right of a husband to divorce his wife was lost are stated ibid ., (22:19,29) The ground of divorce is appoint on which the Jewish doctors of the period of the New Testament differed widely; the school of Shammai seeming to limit it to a moral delinquency in the woman, whilst that the Hillel extended it to trifling causes, e.g., if the wife burnt the food she was cooking for her husband. The Pharisees wished perhaps to embroil our Savi”
Easton's Bible Dictionary “Easton's Bible Dictionary: Divorce — The dissolution of the marriage tie was regulated by the Mosaic law (Deut. 24:1-4). The Jews, after the Captivity, were reguired to dismiss the foreign women they had married contrary to the law (Ezra 10:11-19). Christ limited the permission of divorce to the single case of adultery. It seems that it was not uncommon for the Jews at that time to dissolve the union on very slight pretences (Matt. 5:31, 32; 19:1-9; Mark 10:2-12; Luke 16:18). These precepts given by Christ regulate the law of divorce in the Christian Church.”
Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Husbands — Should have but one wife -- Ge 2:24; Mr 10:6-8; 1Co 7:2-4. Have authority over their wives -- Ge 3:16; 1Co 11:3; Eph 5:23. Duty of, to wives To respect them. -- 1Pe 3:7. To love them. -- Eph 5:25-33; Col 3:19. To regard them as themselves. -- Ge 2:23; Mt 19:5. To be faithful to them. -- Pr 5:19; Mal 2:14,15. To dwell with them for life. -- Ge 2:24; Mt 19:3-9. To comfort them. -- 1Sa 1:8. To consult with them. -- Ge 31:4-7. Not to leave them, though unbelieving. -- 1Co 7:11,12,14,16. Duties of, not to interfere with their duties to Christ -- Lu 14:26; Mt 19”
Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Compassion and Sympathy of Christ, The — Necessary to his priestly office -- Heb 5:2,7. Manifested for the Weary and heavy-laden. -- Mt 11:28-30. Weak in faith. -- Isa 40:11; 42:3; Mt 12:20. Tempted. -- Heb 2:18. Afflicted. -- Lu 7:13; Joh 11:33,35. Diseased. -- Mt 14:14; Mr 1:41. Poor. -- Mr 8:2. Perishing sinners. -- Mt 9:36; Lu 19:41; Joh 3:16. An encouragement to prayer -- Heb 4:15.”
1 Corinthians (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on 1 Corinthians 12:12: 12:12-31 The church is like a body (see 12:27) composed of many different parts, each with its own function as determined by God (see 12:11, 18, 28; Rom 12:4-5).”
1 Corinthians (Presbyterian) “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown on 1 Corinthians 12:27: members in particular--that is, severally members of it. Each church is in miniature what the whole aggregate of churches is collectively, "the body of Christ" (compare Co1 3:16): and its individual components are members, every one in his assigned place.”
1 Corinthians (Baptist/Reformed) “John Gill on 1 Corinthians 12:20: But now are they many members,.... Of different make and shape, in different parts and places, and of different use and service: yet but one body; all are united together, and make up one complete body, and which without each of them would not be perfect: so there are many members in the body of Christ, the church; some are teachers, others are hearers; some give, and others receive; but all make up but one church, of which Christ is the head; nor can anyone of them be spared; was anyone wanting, even the meanest, there would be a deficiency, and the church ”
Colossians (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Colossians 3:15: 3:15 Just as Christ is one, so there can be only one body of Christ (see 1:18; Eph 4:4-6). Allegiance to Jesus as Lord must transcend differences and will result in peace (harmonious relationships).”
Galatians (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Galatians 3:28: 3:28 There is no longer: Everyone comes to Christ and receives God’s promises in exactly the same way (cp. 1 Cor 12:12-13; Eph 2:14; Col 3:11). • male and female: Cp. Gen 1:27. • you are all one: The community of believers is one body, the body of Christ (see Rom 12:4-5; 1 Cor 12:27; Eph 2:15-16, 19-22). • in Christ Jesus: See Col 2:6–3:11.”
1 Corinthians (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on 1 Corinthians 12:25: 12:25-26 The church is a unified body, so harmony and care for each other in the church is essential.”
1 Corinthians (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on 1 Corinthians 7:10: 7:10-11 Paul advises Christian couples contemplating divorce. • a command that comes . . . from the Lord: This doesn’t mean that Paul’s other instructions (see 7:12, 25, 40) have less authority. It means this particular counsel is grounded in known sayings of Jesus (see Matt 5:32; 19:9; Mark 10:11-12; Luke 16:18). • But if she does leave him: Paul acknowledges that some couples have great difficulty in living together, but even in that case they must honor their marriage vows to be faithful to their spouse alone (see 1 Cor 7:27; Rom 7:2).”
1 Corinthians (Baptist/Reformed) “John Gill on 1 Corinthians 7:8: I say therefore to the unmarried and widows,.... Not by way of command, but advice: by the "unmarried" he means, either such men who never were in a married state, or else such who had been married, but their wives were dead; which latter sense seems more agreeable, since they are joined with "widows", who had lost their husbands: it is good for them if they abide; unmarried, and do not change their condition any more; not that it was sinful to marry again, for he allows of it in the next verse, in case they have not the gift of continence; and therefore "good”

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