Practically Applying Joseph's Forgiveness in Difficult Relationships
Joseph's story in Genesis offers a profound example of forgiveness, particularly relevant for navigating difficult relationships. His brothers, who had sold him into slavery, feared his retribution after their father Jacob's death [10]. However, Joseph reassured them, stating, "Do not fear, for am I in the place of God?" and "You meant evil against me, but God meant it for good" (Genesis 50:19-20). This narrative illustrates several principles for applying forgiveness in challenging relational contexts.
One key aspect of Joseph's forgiveness is his recognition of God's overarching providence. Joseph understood that while his brothers acted with malicious intent, God ultimately used their actions for a greater purpose: "to save many people alive" [7]. This perspective allows for forgiveness without minimizing the wrong committed. John Calvin notes that Joseph "neither traces their fault to God as its cause, nor really absolves them from it" [9]. Instead, he acknowledges the brothers' sin while simultaneously seeing God's hand at work, transforming evil into good [3]. This dual perspective can help individuals forgive by shifting focus from solely the offender's intent to God's potential redemptive purposes, even in painful situations.
Joseph's actions also demonstrate a willingness to move beyond resentment and actively seek reconciliation. His brothers approached him with fear and an appeal for forgiveness, acknowledging their "trespass" and "sin" [6]. Joseph's response was not merely passive acceptance but an active embrace of his brothers, weeping with them and speaking kindly to them (Genesis 50:17, 21). Matthew Henry emphasizes the importance of maintaining "a good correspondence" among family members, even after parents are gone, noting that "wisdom and grace would indeed make it most easy to us to forgive our relations and friends if they offend us" [10, 5]. This highlights that forgiveness is not just an internal state but often involves outward expressions aimed at restoring relationships.
The biblical injunctions to forgive are widespread. Colossians 3:13 instructs believers to be "forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye" [2]. This command underscores the Christ-like nature of forgiveness. Similarly, James 5:16 encourages mutual confession and prayer for healing, suggesting that forgiveness is often a communal process [1]. Calvin further extends this, stating that while humanity generally requires us to forgive all people, "when the bond of religion is superadded, we are harder than iron, if we are not inclined to the exercise of compassion" towards fellow believers [4]. This implies a heightened responsibility to forgive within the Christian community.
Practically, applying Joseph's example involves several steps. First, it requires acknowledging the offense and the pain it caused, without excusing the wrongdoer's actions [9]. Second, it involves a conscious decision to release the desire for revenge or retribution, trusting in God's justice and sovereignty [7]. Third, it may involve extending grace and kindness, even when the offender has caused deep hurt. Joseph's ability to forgive stemmed from his deep faith and his understanding that God was ultimately in control, turning what was meant for harm into a means of preservation (Genesis 50:20). This perspective can empower individuals to forgive, even in the most difficult relationships, by recognizing that God can use afflictions for beneficial purposes, such as promoting His glory or teaching His will [3]. The prophet Jeremiah speaks of God's forgiveness, where He will "forgive...iniquity...remember...no more" [8], offering a divine model for human reconciliation.
Sources
- James “Confess your offenses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The insistent prayer of a righteous person is powerfully effective. -- James 5:16”
- Colossians “Colossians 3:13 (KJV) — Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.”
- Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Afflictions Made Beneficial — In promoting the glory of God -- Joh 9:1-3; 11:3,4; 21:18,19. In exhibiting the power and faithfulness of God -- Ps 34:19,20; 2Co 4:8-11. In teaching us the will of God -- Ps 119:71; Isa 26:9; Mic 6:9. In turning us to God -- De 4:30,31; Ne 1:8,9; Ps 78:34; Isa 10:20,21; Ho 2:6,7. In keeping us from again departing from God -- Job 34:31,32; Isa 10:20; Eze 14:10,11. In leading us to seek God in prayer -- Jdj 4:3; Jer 31:18; La 2:17-19; Ho 5:14,15; Jon 2:1. In convincing us of sin -- Job 36:8,9; Ps 119:67; Lu 15:16-18. In leading us to con”
- CCEL (Reformed) “Calvin, Commentary on Genesis, Vol. 2 (Gen 24-50), section 27.13: that if we have been injured by the members of the Church, we must not be too rigid and immovable in pardoning the offense. This humanity indeed is generally enjoined upon us towards all men: but when the bond of religion is superadded, we are harder than iron, if we are not inclined to the exercise of compassion. And we must observe, that they expressly mention the God of Jacob: because the peculiar faith and worship by which they were distinguished from the rest of the nations, ought to unite them with each other in a closer b”
- Proverbs (Nonconformist/Puritan) “Matthew Henry on Proverbs 18:19: Note, 1. Great care must be taken to prevent quarrels among relations, and those that are under special obligation to each other, not only because they are most unnatural and unbecoming, but because between such things are commonly taken most unkindly, and resentments are apt to be carried too far. Wisdom and grace would indeed make it most easy to us to forgive our relations and friends if they offend us, but corruption makes it most difficult to forgive them; let us therefore take heed of disobliging a brother, or one that has been as a brother; ingratitude i”
- Genesis (Baptist/Reformed) “John Gill on Genesis 50:16: So shall ye say unto Joseph, forgive, I pray thee now, the trespass of thy brethren, and their sin,.... Their very great sin, and therefore more words than one are used to express it: unless this repetition should be intended, and signifies that their crime was a trespass against God, and a sin against their brother; and however they are directed to ask forgiveness for it, and urge the relation they stood in to Joseph, in order to obtain it, which they were ready to acknowledge as a very great evil, and of which they repented: and now, we pray thee, forgive the tr”
- CCEL (Reformed) “Calvin, Commentary on Genesis, Vol. 2 (Gen 24-50), section 27.17: comprehend, than, as vessels of clay, proudly exalt themselves against their Maker. To save much people alive . Joseph renders his office subservient to the design of God’s providence; and this sobriety is always to be cultivated, that every one may behold, by faith, God from on high holding the helm of the government of the world, and may keep himself within the bounds of his vocation; and even, being admonished by the secret judgments of God, may descend into himself, and exhort himself to the discharge of his duty: and if the”
- Jeremiah (Presbyterian) “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown on Jeremiah 31:34: True, specially of Israel (Isa 54:13); secondarily, true of believers (Joh 6:45; Co1 2:10; Jo1 2:20). forgive . . . iniquity . . . remember . . . no more-- (Jer 33:8; Jer 50:20; Mic 7:18); applying peculiarly to Israel (Rom 11:27). Secondarily, all believers (Act 10:43).”
- CCEL (Reformed) “Calvin, Commentary on Genesis, Vol. 2 (Gen 24-50), section 22.9: neither traces their fault to God as its cause, nor really absolves them from it; as we shall see more clearly in the last chapter ( Genesis 44:1 .) And doubtless, it must be maintained, that the deeds of men are not to be estimated according to the event, but according to the measure in which they may have failed in their duty, or may have attempted something contrary to the Divine command, and may have gone beyond the bounds of their calling. Someone, for instance, has neglected his wife or children, and has not diligently atte”
- Genesis (Nonconformist/Puritan) “Matthew Henry on Genesis 50:15: We have here the settling of a good correspondence between Joseph and his brethren, now that their father was dead. Joseph was at court, in the royal city; his brethren were in Goshen, remote in the country; yet the keeping up of a good understanding, and a good affection, between them, would be both his honour and their interest. Note, When Providence has removed the parents by death, the best methods ought to be taken, not only for the preventing of quarrels among the children (which often happen about the dividing of the estate), but for the preserving of acq”