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Practicing Mutual Submission And Forgiveness Biblically

Mutual submission and forgiveness are central tenets of Christian communal life, rooted in the example of Christ and the transformative power of God's grace. The New Testament frequently calls believers to these practices, emphasizing their importance for healthy relationships within the church and as a witness to the world.

The concept of mutual submission is often understood in light of passages like Ephesians 5:21, which exhorts believers to "submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God." This is not a one-sided command but a reciprocal expectation within the Christian community. It implies a willingness to defer to others, to consider their needs and perspectives above one's own, and to serve rather than dominate. This attitude is exemplified by Christ himself, who "made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant" (Philippians 2:7 KJV). Self-denial, as Christ demonstrated, is a necessary component of this submission, involving the denial of ungodliness and worldly lusts, and the control of appetites [5].

Forgiveness is inextricably linked with submission, forming the bedrock of reconciled relationships. The apostle Paul directly commands, "Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye" (Colossians 3:13 KJV) [2]. This instruction highlights several key aspects of biblical forgiveness. First, it is a mutual obligation: believers are to forgive "one another" [2]. Second, it is to be extended even when there is a "quarrel" or grievance [2, 10]. Third, and most profoundly, the standard for human forgiveness is divine forgiveness: "even as Christ forgave you" [2]. This means that forgiveness should be freely given, without requiring satisfaction beyond a contrite heart, just as God forgave humanity through Christ [12].

The act of forgiving involves forbearing to seek revenge or to return evil for evil [3, 10]. Instead, believers are called to exhibit love, bless those who wrong them, and overcome evil with kindness [3]. This stands in stark contrast to the natural human inclination towards retaliation [3]. The example of Christ, who did not retaliate when he suffered, serves as the ultimate model for this forbearance [3].

Reconciliation, which is the goal of mutual submission and forgiveness, signifies a change from enmity to friendship [4]. This change is mutual, affecting both parties involved [4]. In the context of human relationships, it means laying aside animosity and restoring fellowship. The process of reconciliation is so vital that Jesus taught its priority even over religious ritual: "Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee; Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift" (Matthew 5:23-24 KJV). This passage suggests that the offended party should seek to resolve the grievance held by their brother before engaging in worship [11].

The practice of confession also plays a crucial role in fostering both submission and forgiveness. James encourages believers to "Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed" (James 5:16 KJV) [1]. This mutual confession facilitates humility and opens the door for forgiveness and healing within the community. John Calvin notes that confession of iniquity and supplication for pardon are regular practices in well-ordered churches, both privately and publicly [9]. This act of acknowledging one's own failings can foster a spirit of humility that makes both submission and forgiveness easier to extend and receive.

The theological foundation for these practices lies in God's prior act of forgiveness and love towards humanity. As John Chrysostom emphasizes, Paul grounds his exhortation to kindness, tenderheartedness, and mutual forgiveness on the fact that "God also in Christ forgave you" (Ephesians 4:32) [8]. Therefore, believers are called to be "imitators of God, as beloved children" and to "walk in love, even as Christ also loved you, and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God" (Ephesians 5:1-2) [8]. This divine love and forgiveness serve as both the motivation and the pattern for how Christians are to interact with one another [13, 14].

Forgiveness, in a theological sense, is not merely overlooking an offense but is an exemption from the deserved penalty of the law, made possible by Christ's expiation of sin [7]. When Christians forgive one another, they are participating in a reflection of this divine act, extending grace that mirrors the grace they have received. This is why the command to forgive is often paired with the reminder of God's forgiveness in Christ [2, 8, 14].

The call to mutual submission and forgiveness is not an easy one, as it often requires self-denial and a willingness to forgo personal rights or desires [5]. However, it is presented as a hallmark of Christian character and community. Believers are to be "blameless and harmless, the sons of God, without rebuke, in the midst of a crooked and perverse nation, among whom ye shine as lights in the world" (Philippians 2:15 KJV) [6]. Such conduct, characterized by humility, forbearance, and forgiveness, serves as a powerful testimony to the transforming power of the Gospel. The practice of these virtues cultivates a community marked by peace, unity, and love, reflecting the very nature of God.

Sources

  1. King James Version “[KJV] James 5:16 — Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.”
  2. King James Version “[KJV] Colossians 3:13 — Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.”
  3. Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Revenge — Forbidden by our Lord -- Le 19:18; Pr 24:17,29; Mt 5:39-41; Ro 12:17,19; 1Th 5:15; 1Pe 3:9. Christ an example of forbearing -- Isa 53:7; 1Pe 2:23. Rebuked by Christ -- Lu 9:54,55. Inconsistent with Christian spirit -- Lu 9:55. Proceeds from a spiteful heart -- Eze 25:15. Instead of taking, we should Trust in God. -- Pr 20:22; Ro 12:16. Exhibit love. -- Le 19:18; Lu 6:35. Give place to wrath. -- Ro 12:19. Exercise forbearance. -- Mt 5:38-41. Bless. -- Ro 12:14. Overcome others by kindness. -- Pr 25:21,22; Ro 12:20. Keep others from taking -- 1Sa 24:10; 25:24”
  4. Easton's Bible Dictionary “Easton's Bible Dictionary: Reconcilation — A change from enmity to friendship. It is mutual, i.e., it is a change wrought in both parties who have been at enmity. (1.) In Col. 1:21, 22, the word there used refers to a change wrought in the personal character of the sinner who ceases to be an enemy to God by wicked works, and yields up to him his full confidence and love. In 2 Cor. 5:20 the apostle beseeches the Corinthians to be "reconciled to God", i.e., to lay aside their enmity. (2.) Rom. 5:10 refers not to any change in our disposition toward God, but to God himself, as the party reconcile”
  5. Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Self-Denial — Christ set an example of -- Mt 4:8-10; 8:20; Joh 6:38; Ro 15:3; Php 2:6-8. A test of devotedness to Christ -- Mt 10:37,38; Lu 9:23,24. Necessary In following Christ. -- Lu 14:27-33. In the warfare of saints. -- 2Ti 2:4. To the triumph of saints. -- 1Co 9:25-27. Ministers especially called to exercise -- 2Co 6:4,5. Should be exercised in Denying ungodliness and worldly lusts. -- Ro 6:12; Tit 2:12. Controlling the appetite. -- Pr 23:2. Abstaining from fleshly lusts. -- 1Pe 2:11. No longer living to lusts of men. -- 1Pe 4:2. Mortifying sinful lusts. -- Mr ”
  6. Treasury of Scripture Knowledge “Philippians 2:15 cross-references: Exodus 34:35, Deuteronomy 32:5, Psalms 122:5, Isaiah 60:1, Matthew 5:14, Matthew 5:45, Matthew 5:48, Matthew 10:16, Matthew 17:17, Luke 1:6, Luke 6:35, John 5:35, Acts 2:40, Acts 20:30, Romans 16:19, 1 Corinthians 1:8, 2 Corinthians 6:17, Ephesians 5:1, Ephesians 5:7, Ephesians 5:27, Philippians 1:10, 1 Thessalonians 5:23, 1 Timothy 3:2, 1 Timothy 3:10, 1 Timothy 5:7, 1 Timothy 5:14, 1 Timothy 5:20, Titus 1:6, Titus 2:10, Titus 2:15, Hebrews 7:26, 1 Peter 1:14, 1 Peter 2:9, 1 Peter 2:12, 2 Peter 3:14, 1 John 3:1, Revelation 3:9”
  7. CCEL (Reformed (Old Princeton)) “Charles Hodge, Systematic Theology, Vol. 3, section 24: of the sinner, to allow the conscience to be satisfied with any scheme of salvation which does not provide for the expiation of the guilt of sin by what really satisfies the justice of God. In the Bible, therefore, as well as in common life, pardon is not a mere consequence of sanctification. It is exemption from the infliction of the deserved penalty of the law. Whether this exemption is a mere matter of caprice, or unworthy partiality for the offender, or for considerations of expediency, or at the promptings of compassion, or upon the ”
  8. CCEL/NPNF (Eastern Orthodox) “John Chrysostom, Homilies on Galatians–Colossians–Thessalonians: Homily XVII. Ephesians iv. 32 and v. 1, 2 “And be ye kind one to another, tender hearted, forgiving each other, even as God also in Christ forgave you. Be ye therefore imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, even as Christ also loved you, and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for an odor of a sweet smell.” The events which are past have greater force than those which are yet to come, and appear to be both more wonderful and more convincing. And hence accordingly Paul founds his exhortatio”
  9. CCEL (Reformed) “John Calvin, Institutes of the Christian Religion, section 59: Law, yet the thing itself belongs in some respect to us also. And, indeed, in all well ordered churches, in observance of an useful custom, the minister, each Lord’s day, frames a formula of confession in his own name and that of the people, in which he makes a common confession of iniquity, and supplicates pardon from the Lord. In short, by this key a door of prayer is opened privately for each, and publicly for all. 12. Two other forms of private confession are approved by Scripture. The one is made on our own account, and to it ”
  10. Colossians (Baptist/Reformed) “John Gill on Colossians 3:13: Forbearing one another,.... Not only bearing one another's burdens, and with one another's weaknesses, but forbearing to render evil for evil, or railing for railing, or to seek revenge for affronts given, in whatsoever way, whether by words or deeds: and forgiving one another; all trespasses and offences, so far as committed against themselves, and praying to God to forgive them, as committed against him: if any man have a quarrel against any; let him be who he will, high or low, rich or poor, of whatsoever age, state, or condition, and let his quarrel or com”
  11. Matthew (Presbyterian) “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown on Matthew 5:24: Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother--The meaning evidently is--not, "dismiss from thine own breast all ill feeling, "but" get thy brother to dismiss from his mind all grudge against thee." and then come and offer thy gift--"The picture," says THOLUCK," is drawn from life. It transports us to the moment when the Israelite, having brought his sacrifice to the court of the Israelites, awaited the instant when the priest would approach to receive it at his hands. He waits with his gift at the rails w”
  12. Colossians (Methodist/Wesleyan) “Adam Clarke on Colossians 3:13: Forbearing one another - Avoid all occasions of irritating or provoking each other. Forgiving one another - If ye receive offense, be instantly ready to forgive on the first acknowledgment of the fault. Even as Christ forgave you - Who required no satisfaction, and sought for nothing in you but the broken, contrite heart, and freely forgave you as soon as you returned to Him. No man should for a moment harbour ill will in his heart to any; but the offended party is not called actually to forgive, till the offender, with sorrow, acknowledges his fault. He should ”
  13. Colossians (Nonconformist/Puritan) “Matthew Henry on Colossians 3:12: The apostle proceeds to exhort to mutual love and compassion: Put on therefore bowels of mercy, Col 3:12. We must not only put off anger and wrath (as Col 3:8), but we must put on compassion and kindness; not only cease to do evil, but learn to do well; not only not do hurt to any, but do what good we can to all. I. The argument here used to enforce the exhortation is very affecting: Put on, as the elect of God, holy and beloved. Observe, 1. Those who are holy are the elect of God; and those who are the elect of God, and holy, are beloved - beloved of God, and”
  14. Ephesians (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Ephesians 4:32: 4:32 Forgiving fellow believers is a natural and good response to experiencing God’s forgiving grace in Christ (cp. Col 3:12-13; 1 Jn 4:19).”
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