Praying Before Lending Money to Friends or Family Members
Scripture does not prescribe a specific ritual of prayer before lending money to friends or family, but the practice aligns with biblical principles of preparation, discernment, and compassion in financial dealings. Prayer serves to orient the heart toward God's wisdom before entering transactions that carry both relational and spiritual weight.
Preparing the Heart Before Action
The apocryphal book of Sirach counsels, "Before prayer prepare thy soul: and be not as a man that tempteth God" [1]. This principle extends beyond formal worship to any significant decision requiring divine guidance. Job's counselor Zophar advises, "If thou prepare thine heart, and stretch out thine hands towards him," linking heart preparation directly to prayer [5]. When contemplating a loan to someone close, prayer becomes the means of examining motives, assessing capacity, and seeking clarity about whether the action serves genuine need or enables harm.
The Relational Stakes of Lending
Lending to family and friends occupies a unique category in biblical ethics. Nehemiah records his own practice: "For even I, my brethren, and my servants do lend them money and corn: I pray you, let us leave off this burden" [2]. The context reveals that loans had become exploitative, with creditors seizing property and children as collateral [6]. Jamieson-Fausset-Brown notes that Mosaic law required "kind and considerate regard" for borrowers, even mandating the return of a poor man's pledged cloak before nightfall [4]. These provisions assume that lending involves power dynamics requiring moral vigilance—precisely what prayer cultivates.
Jesus intensified these expectations, instructing followers to "lend without expecting to be repaid," modeling the Father's kindness to all people [7]. Proverbs warns repeatedly against securing another's debt, noting the risk of financial ruin [9]. Prayer before lending thus becomes a moment to weigh whether the transaction reflects generosity or foolishness, whether it will strengthen or strain the relationship, and whether one's own resources can sustain the commitment.
Prayer as Intercession and Protection
The duty to pray for those in need extends to financial affliction. Torrey's Topical Textbook lists praying for the afflicted alongside relieving and comforting them [3]. Chrysostom emphasizes praying for neighbors, both faithful and unbelieving, rather than against them [8]. When a loan becomes necessary, prayer positions the lender to act as an agent of provision rather than exploitation, and to intercede for the borrower's broader circumstances that created the need.
Sources
- Sirach “Sirach 18:23 (DRC) — Before prayer prepare thy soul: and be not as a man that tempteth God.”
- Nehemiah “Nehemiah 5:10 (Geneva1599) — For euen I, my brethren, and my seruants doe lende them money and corne: I pray you, let vs leaue off this burden.”
- Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Afflicted, Duty Toward The — To pray for them -- Ac 12:5; Php 1:16,19; Jas 5:14-16. To sympathise with them -- Ro 12:15; Ga 6:2. To pity them -- Job 6:14. To bear them in mind -- Heb 13:3. To visit them -- Jas 1:27. To comfort them -- Job 16:5; 29:25; 2Co 1:4; 1Th 4:18. To relieve them -- Job 31:19,20; Isa 58:10; Php 4:14; 1Ti 5:10. To protect them -- Ps 82:3; Pr 22:22; 31:5.”
- Deuteronomy (Presbyterian) “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown on Deuteronomy 24:10: When thou dost lend thy brother anything, thou shalt not go into his house to fetch his pledge--The course recommended was, in kind and considerate regard, to spare the borrower's feelings. In the case of a poor man who had pledged his cloak, it was to be restored before night, as the poor in Eastern countries have commonly no other covering for wrapping themselves in when they go to sleep than the garment they have worn during the day.”
- Job (Baptist/Reformed) “John Gill on Job 11:13: If thou prepare thine heart, and stretch out thine hands towards him. In this and the following verses Zophar proceeds to give some advice to Job; which, if taken, would issue in his future happiness, but otherwise it would be ill with him; he advises him to pray to God with an heart prepared for such service; so some render the last clause in the imperative, "stretch out thine hands (w) towards him"; that is, towards God; for, though not expressed, is implied, whose immensity, sovereignty, and omniscience, Zophar had been discoursing of; and, though stretching out the ”
- Sefaria (Jewish (Rabbinic)) “Rashi (Rabbi Shlomo Yitzchaki) on Nehemiah 5:7: “Are you demanding each other’s loans?” Why are you doing this? You should have supported these poor people, but you are lending them money in order to appropriate their sons and daughters, their fields, vineyards and houses.”
- Luke (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Luke 6:34: 6:34-36 The law of Moses prohibited charging interest on loans to other Israelites in order to prevent exploitation of the poor (Exod 22:25; Lev 25:35-37; Deut 23:20). Jesus further instructed his followers to lend . . . without expecting to be repaid. By doing good even to those who do evil, we act as children of the Most High and imitate our Father in heaven, who is kind to all people (cp. Rom 5:8).”
- CCEL/NPNF (Eastern Orthodox) “John Chrysostom, Homilies on Galatians–Colossians–Thessalonians: good. Moral . Let every prayer of ours, then, be accompanied with thanksgiving. And if we are commanded to pray for our neighbors, not only for the faithful, but for the unbelieving also, consider how wrong it is to pray against your brethren. What? Has He commanded you to pray for your enemies, and do you pray against your brother? But your prayer is not against him, but against yourself. For you provoke God by uttering those impious words, “Show him the same!” “So do to him!” “Smite him!” “Recompense him!” Far be such words fro”
- Proverbs (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Proverbs 6:1: 6:1-5 To secure the debt of another person is to guarantee it with one’s own possessions. Whether to earn a friend’s goodwill or to turn a profit from a stranger (cp. Exod 22:25; Lev 25:36-37; Deut 23:19-20), the risk is too great to take; it could lead to financial ruin. This message is repeated in Prov 11:15; 17:18; 20:16; 22:26; 27:13.”