Raising Children in a Godly Environment and Parenting
Scripture places the responsibility for raising children squarely on parents, who receive their children as gifts from God [3]. Deuteronomy 6:6-7 establishes the pattern: parents are to teach God's commandments diligently to their children, speaking of them "when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise" [2, 3]. This instruction is not occasional but woven into the fabric of daily life.
The Parental Mandate
The duty extends beyond mere instruction to comprehensive training. Parents are called to "train up a child in the way he should go" (Proverbs 22:6) [2, 3], to command them to obey God [3], and to tell them of God's miraculous works and judgments [3]. Ephesians 6:4 specifies that fathers are to "nurture them in the discipline and instruction of the Lord" [4], a command that balances correction with teaching. The same passage warns against provoking children to wrath [4]—fathers can turn children from the Lord through harshness or injustice when discipline becomes excessive rather than loving and gentle [7].
The Child's Response
Children, for their part, are commanded to obey and honor their parents, an obedience described as "well pleasing to God" (Colossians 3:20) [1]. This is not passive compliance but active participation in godliness. Good children are characterized by their attention to parental teaching, their observance of God's law, and their knowledge of Scripture [1, 2]. The pattern is Christ himself, who "was subject" to his parents (Luke 2:51) and grew "strong in spirit, being filled with wisdom" [5].
The Theological Foundation
This structure of parental authority exists "in subserviency to God" [9]—parents exercise delegated authority as instruments of their children's being [9]. The relationship between parents and children is to reflect devotion to the Lord [8], with both parties accountable to divine standards. Children are brought early to the house of God [2] and instructed judiciously [2], recognizing that all human beings are born sinners who must either indulge or fight against their sinful nature [6]. The goal is not merely behavioral conformity but hearts turned toward God, children who remember their Creator in youth (Ecclesiastes 12:1) [2] and partake of God's promises [1].
Sources
- Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Children, Good — The Lord is with -- 1Sa 3:19. Know the Scriptures -- 2Ti 3:15. Observe the law of God -- Pr 28:7. Their obedience to parents is well pleasing to God -- Col 3:20. Partake of the promises of God -- Ac 2:39. Shall be blessed -- Pr 3:1-4; Eph 6:2,3. Show love to parents -- Ge 46:29. Obey parents -- Ge 28:7; 47:30. Attend to parental teaching -- Pr 13:1. Take care of parents -- Ge 45:9,11; 47:12. Make their parents' hearts glad -- Pr 10:1; 29:17. Honour the aged -- Job 32:6,7. Adduced as a motive for submission to God -- Heb 12:9. Spirit of, a requisite f”
- Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Children — Christ was an example to -- Lu 2:51; Joh 19:26,27. Are a gift from God -- Ge 33:5; Ps 127:3. Are capable of glorifying God -- Ps 8:2; 148:12,13; Mt 21:15,16. Should be Brought to Christ. -- Mr 10:13-16. Brought early to the house of God. -- 1Sa 1:24. Instructed in the ways of God. -- De 31:12,13; Pr 22:6. Judiciously trained. -- Pr 22:15; 29:17; Eph 6:4. Should Obey God. -- De 30:2. Fear God. -- Pr 24:21. Remember God. -- Ec 12:1. Attend to parental teaching. -- Pr 1:8,9. Honour parents. -- Ex 20:12; Heb 12:9. Fear parents. -- Le 19:3. Obey parents. -- Pr ”
- Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Parents — Receive their children from God -- Ge 33:5; 1Sa 1:27; Ps 127:3. Their duty to their children is To love them. -- Tit 2:4. To bring them to Christ. -- Mt 19:13,14. To train them up for God. -- Pr 22:6; Eph 6:4. To instruct them in God's word. -- De 4:9; 11:19; Isa 38:19. To tell them of God's judgments. -- Joe 1:3. To tell them of the miraculous works of God. -- Ex 10:2; Ps 78:4. To command them to obey God. -- De 32:46; 1Ch 28:9. To bless them. -- Ge 48:15; Heb 11:20. To pity them. -- Ps 103:13. To provide for them. -- Job 42:15; 2Co 12:14; 1Ti 5:8. To rule”
- Ephesians “You fathers, don’t provoke your children to wrath, but nurture them in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. -- Ephesians 6:4”
- Luke “The child was growing, and was becoming strong in spirit, being filled with wisdom, and the grace of God was upon him. -- Luke 2:40”
- Psalms (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Psalms 58:3: 58:3 All human beings are born sinners (see 51:5); however, whereas the wicked indulge their sinful nature, the godly fight against it (Rom 7:19-23; Jas 4:1-10).”
- Ephesians (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Ephesians 6:4: 6:4 Fathers can often provoke their children to anger by being harsh or unjust (see Col 3:21). Parents should give their children the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord (or the discipline and instruction about the Lord) so that they will learn a way of living that is good and pleases God. Such discipline is not to be excessive, but loving and gentle, so that children are not turned from the Lord but are drawn to him (cp. Heb 12:5-11).”
- Ephesians (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Ephesians 6:1: 6:1-4 The relationship between parents and children is to be a reflection of their devotion to the Lord. Christian children are to obey their parents, and Christian parents are to discipline their children gently (see Col 3:20-21).”
- Ephesians (Nonconformist/Puritan) “Matthew Henry on Ephesians 6:1: Here we have further directions concerning relative duties, in which the apostle is very particular. I. The duty of children to their parents. Come, you children, hearken to me, I will teach you the fear of the Lord. The great duty of children is to obey their parents (Eph 6:1), parents being the instruments of their being, God and nature having given them an authority to command, in subserviency to God; and, if children will be obedient to their pious parents, they will be in a fair way to be pious as they are. That obedience which God demands from their childr”