Reasons for Resistance to Seeking Help in Marriage Struggles

When one or both spouses in a marriage are struggling, they may resist asking for help due to various reasons, including pride, fear of vulnerability, or shame. Confusion can indeed be one of the reasons, as the complexities of their struggles may leave them feeling uncertain about how to navigate their situation or where to turn for guidance. Paul writes in Romans 8:28 that "all things work together for good" for those who love God, yet this promise can be difficult to grasp when immersed in marital turmoil. This resistance to seeking help can stem from a deeper heart issue, such as a fear of admitting weakness or a sense of self-sufficiency, which can ultimately hinder their ability to receive the support and guidance they need.

In Reformed theology, this struggle is understood in the context of humanity's inherent sinfulness and the effects of the fall, which can lead to a distorted view of oneself and one's abilities. The gospel, however, offers a message of hope and redemption, reminding believers that their identity and worth are rooted in Christ, not in their own strengths or weaknesses.

This truth addresses the heart behind the question, acknowledging that the reluctance to seek help is often a symptom of a deeper spiritual issue, rather than merely a practical problem. As a result, the solution lies not only in seeking external guidance but also in recognizing one's dependence on God and the need for humility and surrender, allowing couples to find solace in the promise that God is working all things together for their good, even in the midst of marital struggles.