Reshaping One's Approach to Differences in Christian Relationships
Christian relationships, whether within a family, a church, or broader community, are often characterized by differences in opinion, perspective, and practice. The New Testament offers guidance on how believers can navigate these differences, emphasizing unity, love, and mutual respect.
A foundational principle for Christian relationships is the concept of reconciliation, which involves a change from enmity to friendship [1]. This change is mutual, affecting both parties previously at odds [1]. In a spiritual sense, reconciliation with God means laying aside enmity and yielding to God's confidence and love [1]. This divine reconciliation serves as a model for human relationships. Paul's letter to the Ephesians speaks of Christ reconciling both Jews and Gentiles to God in one body through the cross, thereby destroying hostility [3]. This act of reconciliation underscores the possibility of overcoming deep-seated divisions through Christ.
The Apostle Paul frequently addressed the issue of unity and differences within early Christian communities. In Philippians, he urged believers to "stand fast in one spirit, with one mind striving together for the faith of the gospel" [6]. This call for unity does not necessarily imply uniformity in all matters, but rather a shared purpose and spirit in advancing the gospel [6]. Paul himself experienced conflict, noting to the Philippians, "having the same conflict which you saw in me, and now hear is in me" [2]. This suggests that conflict is a reality, even for apostles, and the response to it is crucial.
One key aspect of reshaping approaches to differences is the cultivation of love and consideration for others. Paul encourages believers in Philippians to look "not just to his own things, but each of you also to the things of others" [5]. This selflessness is a hallmark of Christian love, which "emphasizes the willingness to give up one’s own desires for the good of others" [12]. This principle is further elaborated in Romans, where believers are exhorted to "accept each other" [9]. This acceptance goes beyond mere tolerance; it means welcoming other believers, with their flaws and sins, into fellowship and treating them as family, just as Christ has accepted us [9]. Adam Clarke, commenting on Romans 15:6, suggests that Jews and Gentiles should think the same things and bear with each other, glorifying God with "one mind" and "one mouth" [10]. This implies a unity of purpose and worship despite differing backgrounds.
Paul also recognized that believers might hold different views on certain issues. In Philippians 3:15, he states, "All of us who are mature should embrace this point of view. And if you think differently about some issue, God will reveal this to you as well" [4]. Matthew Henry interprets this as an agreement among good Christians to make "Christ all in all" and set their hearts on heaven, even if they "differ in their sentiments about other things" [8]. This suggests that while core beliefs are essential for unity, there is room for differing opinions on secondary matters, with the expectation that God will guide believers toward understanding [4, 8].
Submission and mutual respect are also vital in navigating differences. Ephesians 5:21 instructs believers to "submit to one another," linking this command to being filled with the Spirit [11]. This general instruction applies to various relationships within the Christian home, such as wives and husbands, children and parents, and slaves and masters, emphasizing that "love and respect are to characterize all relationships in the body of Christ" [11]. While specific instructions are given for different roles, such as wives submitting to their husbands and husbands loving their wives, the overarching principle is mutual submission out of reverence for Christ [13, 11].
When faced with hostility or disagreement, Christian kindness can be a powerful tool for reconciliation. Romans 12:20-21 suggests that "a simple act of Christian kindness can often bring a hostile person to repentance before God and restore fellowship between people" [7]. This approach aligns with the broader New Testament emphasis on overcoming evil with good.
The development of "knowledge" and "perception" is also crucial for navigating differences, as these qualities can "guard love from being ill-judged" [14]. This implies that a mature understanding of doctrinal and practical truth, coupled with spiritual discernment, helps believers to love wisely and engage with differences constructively [14].
Sources
- Easton's Bible Dictionary “Easton's Bible Dictionary: Reconcilation — A change from enmity to friendship. It is mutual, i.e., it is a change wrought in both parties who have been at enmity. (1.) In Col. 1:21, 22, the word there used refers to a change wrought in the personal character of the sinner who ceases to be an enemy to God by wicked works, and yields up to him his full confidence and love. In 2 Cor. 5:20 the apostle beseeches the Corinthians to be "reconciled to God", i.e., to lay aside their enmity. (2.) Rom. 5:10 refers not to any change in our disposition toward God, but to God himself, as the party reconcile”
- Philippians “having the same conflict which you saw in me, and now hear is in me. -- Philippians 1:30”
- Ephesians “et reconciliet ambos in uno corpore, Deo per crucem, interficiens inimicitias in semetipso. -- Ephesians 2:16”
- Philippians “Philippians 3:15 (BSB) — All of us who are mature should embrace this point of view. And if you think differently about some issue, God will reveal this to you as well.”
- Philippians “each of you not just looking to his own things, but each of you also to the things of others. -- Philippians 2:4”
- King James Version “[KJV] Philippians 1:27 — Only let your conversation be as it becometh the gospel of Christ: that whether I come and see you, or else be absent, I may hear of your affairs, that ye stand fast in one spirit, with one mind striving together for the faith of the gospel;”
- Romans (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Romans 12:20: 12:20-21 A simple act of Christian kindness can often bring a hostile person to repentance before God and restore fellowship between people.”
- Philippians (Nonconformist/Puritan) “Matthew Henry on Philippians 3:15: The apostle, having proposed himself as an example, urges the Philippians to follow it. Let the same mind be in us which was in blessed Paul. We see here how he was minded; let us be like-minded, and set our hearts upon Christ and heaven, as he did. 1. He shows that this was the thing wherein all good Christians were agreed, to make Christ all in all, and set their hearts upon another world. This is that whereto we have all attained. However good Christians may differ in their sentiments about other things, this is what they are agreed in, that Christ is a Ch”
- Romans (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Romans 15:7: 15:7 To accept each other means more than grudgingly putting up with each other. We are to welcome other believers, with all their flaws and sins, into our fellowship and treat them as family (see study note on 12:10), just as Christ has accepted us, with all our flaws and sins, into his fellowship and family (5:8-11).”
- Romans (Methodist/Wesleyan) “Adam Clarke on Romans 15:6: That ye - Jews and Gentiles - may with one mind - Thinking the same things, and bearing with each other, after the example of Christ; and one mouth, in all your religious assemblies, without jarring or contentions, glorify God for calling you into such a state of salvation, and showing himself to be your loving compassionate Father, as he is the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. It is very likely that the apostle refers here to religious acts in public worship, which might have been greatly interrupted by the dissensions between the converted Jews and the converted G”
- Ephesians (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Ephesians 5:21: 5:21–6:9 Paul gives specific instructions on how believers are to relate to one another in a Christian home (see also Col 3:18–4:1; 1 Pet 2:18–3:7). Love and respect are to characterize all relationships in the body of Christ as an expression of believers’ commitment to the Lord himself. 5:21 And further, submit to one another: The verb form links it with the command to be filled (5:18). This general instruction (cp. Phil 2:3) applies to all three relationships that Paul discusses: wives and husbands (Eph 5:22-33), children and their parents (6:1-4), and slaves”
- 1 Corinthians (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on 1 Corinthians 13:4: 13:4-7 This description of Christian love emphasizes the willingness to give up one’s own desires for the good of others (see also 8:1–10:33; Rom 5:6-8; 15:3; 2 Cor 8:9; Phil 2:4-8).”
- Ephesians (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Ephesians 5:22: 5:22-33 Christian wives are to submit to their husbands, showing them respect. Equally important, Christian husbands are to love their wives (see Col 3:18-19). Christian marriages become a reflection of the union and relationship between the Lord and the church. 5:22 Submission is part of the life to which the wives’ Christian commitment calls them (see 1 Cor 11:3-10; 14:34-35; Col 3:18; 1 Tim 2:11-12; Titus 2:5; 1 Pet 3:1-6).”
- Philippians (Presbyterian) “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown on Philippians 1:9: The subject of his prayer for them (Phi 1:4). your love--to Christ, producing love not only to Paul, Christ's minister, as it did, but also to one another, which it did not altogether as much as it ought (Phi 2:2; Phi 4:2). knowledge--of doctrinal and practical truth. judgment--rather, "perception"; "perceptive sense." Spiritual perceptiveness: spiritual sight, spiritual hearing, spiritual feeling, spiritual taste. Christianity is a vigorous plant, not the hotbed growth of enthusiasm. "Knowledge" and "perception" guard love from being ill-jud”