Responding to Abortion with Love and Compassion in Difficult Conversations
Christian conversations about abortion require the same posture Scripture commands for all difficult moral discourse: humility, patience, and genuine compassion. Paul instructs believers to conduct themselves "with all humility and meekness, with long-suffering, bearing with one another in love" [1]. This is not a peripheral virtue but the foundational stance for addressing any topic where human pain, moral conviction, and pastoral care intersect.
The Posture of Spiritual Parenthood
The apostolic model for addressing those struggling with moral questions emphasizes tender affection rather than harsh correction. Paul addresses the Galatians as "my little children," a phrase that John Gill notes is "expressive of the apostle's strong love and affection for them, and points out their tenderness in the faith" [2]. This language of spiritual parenthood—used by Christ himself and frequently by the apostle John—establishes the relational context in which difficult truths can be received. When someone shares their experience with abortion or wrestles with the question, the Christian response begins not with a syllogism but with the recognition that we are speaking to someone made in God's image, often in profound pain.
Compassion as Active Virtue
Matthew Henry's commentary on Colossians 3:12 clarifies that Christian compassion is not passive sympathy but an active virtue to be "put on" deliberately: "We must not only put off anger and wrath...but we must put on compassion and kindness; not only cease to do evil, but learn to do well" [3]. In conversations about abortion, this means more than avoiding condemnation. It requires actively seeking to understand the circumstances—economic desperation, relational coercion, medical crisis, or past trauma—that frame the decision. The command to "put on bowels of mercy" [3] uses visceral language; compassion should be felt deeply, not performed superficially.
This active compassion mirrors Christ's own love for his disciples. John Chrysostom reflects on Jesus's words in John 15:9, noting the extraordinary measure of Christ's love: "what a measure of love did He manifest, who chose to die, who counted worthy of such honor those who were His slaves, His haters, His open enemies" [6]. If Christ loved us while we were enemies, Christians addressing abortion must extend that same unearned grace to those who have participated in or are considering it.
The Tension of Truth and Tenderness
Calvin observes that the Christian life involves holding together seemingly contradictory experiences: "though they feel bitterly, they are at the same time filled with spiritual joy; though pressed with anxiety, breathe exhilarated by the consolation of God" [5]. This tension applies to conversations about abortion. One can hold firm convictions about the sanctity of life while simultaneously entering into another's suffering without judgment. The goal is not to win an argument but to embody the truth in a manner that invites rather than repels.
Augustine's pastoral instruction emphasizes that our primary task is intercession, not lecture: "we ought rather to address ourselves to God for him than address much to him concerning God" [7]. Before speaking, pray. Before correcting, consider whether you have earned the relational trust to speak into someone's deepest wounds. Augustine also notes the importance of addressing the person "in a manner calculated to inspire him with awe" regarding essential truths [7], but this awe is not terror—it is reverence for the gravity of the matter and the care with which it must be handled.
Practical Wisdom in Conversation
Difficult conversations require discernment about when to speak and when to listen. The rabbinic tradition preserved in Midrash Rabbah speaks of God's expressions of fondness for Israel through "cleaving, desiring, and wanting" [4]—language of attachment and longing. Christians entering conversations about abortion should communicate that same desire for the person's good, not merely for their intellectual assent to a position.
Adam Clarke's reflection on a mother's faith amid the death of her child offers a model of trust in God's character even in incomprehensible loss: "believing that it was a dispensation of Providence which was in itself neither unwise nor unkind, she said, It is well" [8]. While abortion involves moral agency in ways natural death does not, Clarke's observation that "the doctrine of reprobate infants had not disgraced the pure religion of the God of endless compassion" [8] reminds us that God's mercy extends beyond our capacity to trace it. This should temper our speech with humility about the mysteries of grace and judgment.
The Christian who responds to abortion with love does not abandon truth but recognizes that truth divorced from compassion becomes a weapon rather than a light. The conversation is not won in a single exchange but in the patient, long-suffering presence that reflects Christ's own posture toward us.
Sources
- Ephesians “Ephesians 4:2 (LITV) — with all humility and meekness, with long-suffering, bearing with one another in love,”
- Galatians (Baptist/Reformed) “John Gill on Galatians 4:18: My little children,.... A soft and tender way of speaking, used by Christ to his disciples, and frequently by that affectionate and beloved disciple, John. It is expressive of the apostle's strong love and affection for them, and points out their tenderness in the faith, and that small degree of spiritual light and knowledge they had, as well as signifies that he had been, as he hoped, and in a judgment of charity believed, an instrument of their conversion, and was their spiritual parent: hence it follows, of whom I travail in birth again; he compares himself to”
- Colossians (Nonconformist/Puritan) “Matthew Henry on Colossians 3:12: The apostle proceeds to exhort to mutual love and compassion: Put on therefore bowels of mercy, Col 3:12. We must not only put off anger and wrath (as Col 3:8), but we must put on compassion and kindness; not only cease to do evil, but learn to do well; not only not do hurt to any, but do what good we can to all. I. The argument here used to enforce the exhortation is very affecting: Put on, as the elect of God, holy and beloved. Observe, 1. Those who are holy are the elect of God; and those who are the elect of God, and holy, are beloved - beloved of God, and”
- Midrash Rabbah (Jewish (Rabbinic)) “Midrash Rabbah, Bereishit Rabbah 80:7: “Ḥamor spoke with them, saying: The soul of my son Shekhem desires your daughter. Please, give her to him as a wife” (Genesis 34:8). “Ḥamor spoke with them, saying” – Reish Lakish said: With three expressions of fondness, the Holy One blessed be He expressed His fondness for Israel: With cleaving, with desiring, and with wanting. With cleaving – “but you who cleave [to the Lord…]” (Deuteronomy 4:4). With desiring – “It is not for your multitude that the Lord desired [you]” (Deuteronomy 7:7). With wanting – “All the nations will praise you, [as you will be”
- CCEL (Reformed) “John Calvin, Institutes of the Christian Religion, section 63: they feel bitterly, they are at the same time filled with spiritual joy; though pressed with anxiety, breathe exhilarated by the consolation of God. Still there is a certain degree of repugnance in their hearts, because natural sense shuns and dreads what is adverse to it, while pious affection, even through these difficulties, tries to obey the divine will. This repugnance the Lord expressed when he thus addressed Peter: “Verily, verily, I say unto thee, When thou wast young, thou girdedst thyself and walkedst whither thou wouldst”
- CCEL/NPNF (Eastern Orthodox) “John Chrysostom, Homilies on John & Hebrews: My disciples.” Seest thou how he that beareth fruit, he is the disciple? But what is, “In this is the Father glorified”? “He rejoiceth when ye abide in Me, when ye bear fruit.” Ver. 9 . “As the Father hath loved Me, so have I loved you.” Here at length He speaketh in a more human manner, for this, as spoken to men, 2190 2190 al. “suitably to a man.” has its peculiar force. Since what a measure of love did He manifest, who chose to die, who counted worthy of such honor those who were His slaves, His haters, His open enemies, and led them up to the he”
- Schaff ANF/NPNF (Patristic) “NPNF1 Vol 3: Augustine — On the Holy Trinity — CHAP. 13.--OF THE REMEDY FOR THE FOURTH (part 2): compassionate spirit; and, after briefly going over other points, we ought to impress upon him, in a manner calculated to inspire him with awe, the truths which are most indispensable on the subject of the unity of the Catholic Church,(2) on that of temptation, on that of a Christian conversation in view of the future judgment; and we ought rather to address ourselves to God for him than address much to him concerning God. 19. It is likewise a frequent occurrence that one who at first listened to u”
- 2 Kings (Methodist/Wesleyan) “Adam Clarke on 2 Kings 4:26: It is well - How strong was her faith in God and submission to his authority! Though the heaviest family affliction that could befall her and her husband had now taken place; yet, believing that it was a dispensation of Providence which was in itself neither unwise nor unkind, she said, It is well with me, with my husband, and with my child. We may farther remark that, in her days, the doctrine of reprobate infants had not disgraced the pure religion of the God of endless compassion. She had no doubts concerning the welfare of her child, even with respect to anothe”