Restoring Trust in a Broken Marriage and Relationship
Restoring trust in a broken marriage is a complex process that involves reconciliation, forgiveness, and commitment. The biblical basis for this process is rooted in the understanding of marriage as a fundamental covenant relationship between a man and a woman, rooted in the created order [3].
In the context of a broken marriage, the Bible advises pursuing reconciliation. Matthew 18:15 instructs believers to address offenses privately and seek forgiveness willingly [1]. This approach emphasizes the importance of addressing issues directly and seeking resolution within the relationship.
The apostle Paul provides guidance on marriage and separation in 1 Corinthians 7:15, stating that if an unbelieving spouse chooses to leave, the believing spouse is not bound to the marriage. However, this does not necessarily mean the marriage is dissolved [2]. The Methodist/Wesleyan tradition interprets this passage as indicating that the marriage contract remains intact, even in cases of obstinate separation, and can only be dissolved by death or an ecclesiastical court [6].
The biblical understanding of marriage as a covenant is also reflected in the prophetic literature, where it is used as an image of God's relationship with Israel. In Hosea, God's covenant with Israel is likened to a marriage, with God's love and faithfulness being likened to a husband's commitment to his wife [5, 7].
In cases where a marriage has been broken due to infidelity or separation, the process of restoration involves a deep commitment to reconciliation and forgiveness. While the specifics of how to navigate these situations can vary depending on the circumstances, the biblical emphasis is on pursuing peace and reconciliation [2].
The Presbyterian tradition, as reflected in the commentary on 1 Timothy 5:14, advises younger widows to remarry and to marry believers, highlighting the importance of considering the spiritual implications of remarriage [4]. This advice is not inconsistent with the broader biblical teaching on marriage and remarriage.
Sources
- Matthew (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Matthew 18:15: 18:15-35 The believing community must not be fractured into rival parties and unreconciled relationships. Its members are to pursue reconciliation (18:15-20) and forgive willingly (18:21-35). At times, however, stern discipline may be necessary (18:17). 18:15-20 Restoration begins privately and should be made public only as a last resort. 18:15 If another believer sins, love requires us to go privately and point out the offense (Lev 19:17; Luke 17:3; Gal 6:1; 1 Tim 5:20; Titus 3:10).”
- 1 Corinthians (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on 1 Corinthians 7:15: 7:15 If the unbeliever breaks up the marriage, the believing husband or wife is free to let them go. • has called you: God’s desire is that his people live in peace, rather than in the intolerable conflict of a mixed marriage no longer desired by the non-Christian spouse.”
- Genesis (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Genesis 2:24: 2:24 Marriage between a man and a woman is not just a human social construct but is rooted in the created order. • a man leaves . . . and is joined: Marriage entails a shift of loyalty from parents to spouse. • the two are united into one: Marriage and its commitments make it the most fundamental covenant relationship observed among humans. Marriage is a powerful image of Israel’s covenant with God (Hos 2:14-23) and of Christ’s relationship to the church (Eph 5:22-32). Marriage is designed as an inseparable, exclusive relationship between a man and a woman. The f”
- 1 Timothy (Presbyterian) “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown on 1 Timothy 5:14: younger women--rather, as ellipsis ought to be supplied, "the younger widows," namely younger widows in general, as distinguished from the older widows taken on the roll of presbyteresses (Ti1 5:9). The "therefore" means seeing that young widows are exposed to such temptations, "I will," or "desire," &c. (Ti1 5:11-13). The precept here that they should marry again is not inconsistent with Co1 7:40; for the circumstances of the two cases were distinct (compare Co1 7:26). Here remarriage is recommended as an antidote to sexual passion, idleness, and t”
- Hosea (Presbyterian) “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown on Hosea 2:19: "Betroth" is thrice repeated, implying the intense love of God to His people; and perhaps, also, the three Persons of the Triune God, severally engaging to make good the betrothal. The marriage covenant will be as it were renewed from the beginning, on a different footing; not for a time only, as before, through the apostasy of the people, but "forever" through the grace of God writing the law on their hearts by the Spirit of Messiah (Jer 31:31-37). righteousness . . . judgment--in rectitude and truth. loving-kindness, &c.--Hereby God assures Israel”
- 1 Corinthians (Methodist/Wesleyan) “Adam Clarke on 1 Corinthians 7:15: But if the unbelieving, depart - Whether husband or wife: if such obstinately depart and utterly refuse all cohabitation, a brother or a sister - a Christian man or woman, is not under bondage to any particular laws, so as to be prevented from remarrying. Such, probably, the law stood then; but it is not so now; for the marriage can only be dissolved by death, or by the ecclesiastical court. Even fornication or adultery does not dissolve the marriage contract; nor will the obstinate separation of any of the parties, however long continued, give the party aban”
- Hosea (Presbyterian) “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown on Hosea 3 (introduction): ISRAEL'S CONDITION IN THEIR PRESENT DISPERSION, SUBSEQUENT TO THEIR RETURN FROM BABYLON, SYMBOLIZED. (Hos 3:1-5) The prophet is to take back his wife, though unfaithful, as foretold in Hos 1:2. He purchases her from her paramour, stipulating she should wait for a long period before she should be restored to her conjugal rights. So Israel is to live for a long period without her ancient rites of religion, and yet be free from idolatry; then at last she shall acknowledge Messiah, and know Jehovah's goodness restored to her. Go yet--"Go again”