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Scriptures on Gossip and Speaking Truth in Relationships

The biblical tradition, particularly in the book of Proverbs, frequently warns against gossip and emphasizes the importance of speaking truth in relationships. Gossip is depicted as destructive, likened to "dainty morsels" or "choice morsels that go down into a person’s innermost parts," suggesting its insidious and deeply damaging nature [1, 2].

The book of Proverbs contrasts the gossip with the trustworthy person, stating that "A gossip reveals a secret, but a trustworthy person keeps a confidence" [3]. This highlights the betrayal of trust inherent in gossip. The Torrey's Topical Textbook further categorizes various forms of slander, which include whispering, backbiting, tale-bearing, and tattling, all of which are forbidden [6]. These actions are seen as an abomination to God and are explicitly prohibited in passages such as Exodus 23:1, Ephesians 4:31, and James 4:11 [6]. The source of such negative speech is identified as the "evil heart" [6], echoing Matthew 15:19 and Luke 6:45.

Rabbinic tradition, as articulated in Maimonides' Mishneh Torah, also strongly condemns gossip. one tradition states that a person who collects and spreads gossip violates a prohibition found in Leviticus 19:16: "Do not go around gossiping among your people" [7]. This is considered a severe sin, capable of causing significant harm, even death, to many individuals [7]. Maimonides defines a gossiper as someone who gathers information and then disseminates it, even if the statements are true, because such actions "bring about the destruction of the world" [8]. A more serious transgression, lashon horah, involves relating deprecating but true facts about a colleague, distinct from defamation of character which involves inventing lies [8]. The pervasive nature of gossip is underscored by the rabbinic saying that "Most people trespass with regard to theft; a minority with regard to forbidden sexual conduct, and all with regard to the shade of undesirable gossip" [9].

The Heidelberg Catechism, a Reformed confession, addresses gossip within its exposition of the ninth commandment, which prohibits bearing false witness. one tradition states that one should "never give false testimony against anyone, twist no one’s words, not gossip or slander, nor join in condemning anyone rashly or without a hearing" [10]. Instead, it advocates for avoiding "lying and deceit of every kind" and encourages loving the truth, speaking it candidly, and openly acknowledging it, while also working to "guard and advance my neighbor" [10]. This perspective emphasizes not only refraining from harmful speech but also actively promoting truth and the well-being of others.

The concept of speaking truth is presented as a characteristic of sincerity. Torrey's Topical Textbook lists sincerity as a quality exemplified by Christ (1 Peter 2:22) and expected of ministers (Titus 2:7) [5]. Sincerity is contrasted with "fleshly wisdom" and should characterize love for God, love for Christ, service to God, faith, and love for one another [5]. This includes the preaching of the gospel, though one tradition notes that the gospel can sometimes be preached without sincerity [5].

The consequences of gossip are also illustrated in biblical narratives and rabbinic discussions. For instance, Psalm 41:6 describes a person who "speaks falsehood" and "gathers iniquity to itself" when visiting, then "tells it" when they go abroad [4]. In the Babylonian Talmud, the "gossiping women who sit and spin thread by the light of the moon" are depicted as sharing the town's gossip, which can have significant implications, such as affecting a woman's marital status [12, 13, 15]. Maimonides also discusses how widespread gossip or rumors can impact legal and social standing, such as the status of a child or a woman's eligibility for marriage, though he notes that not all rumors are treated equally in legal contexts [11, 16]. The importance of truth is so high that even a minor's statements made in the course of conversation, if they reflect truth, can serve as evidence in certain legal matters [14].

Sources

  1. Proverbs “The words of a gossip are like dainty morsels: they go down into a person’s innermost parts. -- Proverbs 18:8”
  2. Proverbs “Proverbs 26:22 (BSB) — The words of a gossip are like choice morsels that go down into the inmost being.”
  3. Proverbs “Proverbs 11:13 (BSB) — A gossip reveals a secret, but a trustworthy person keeps a confidence.”
  4. Psalms “If he comes to see me, he speaks falsehood. His heart gathers iniquity to itself. When he goes abroad, he tells it. -- Psalms 41:6”
  5. Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Sincerity — Christ was an example of -- 1Pe 2:22. Ministers should be examples of -- Tit 2:7. Opposed to fleshly wisdom -- 2Co 1:12. Should characterise Our love to God. -- 2Co 8:8,24. Our love to Christ. -- Eph 6:24. Our service to God. -- Jos 24:14; Joh 4:23,24. Our faith. -- 1Ti 1:5. Our love to one another. -- Ro 12:9; 1Pe 1:22; 1Jo 3:18. Our whole conduct. -- 2Co 1:12. The preaching of the gospel. -- 2Co 2:17; 1Th 2:3-5. A characteristic of the doctrines of the gospel -- 1Pe 2:2. The gospel sometimes preached without -- Php 1:16. The wicked devoid of -- Ps 5:9; ”
  6. Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Slander — An abomination to God -- Pr 6:16,19. Forbidden -- Ex 23:1; Eph 4:31; Jas 4:11. Includes Whispering. -- Ro 1:29; 2Co 12:20. Backbiting. -- Ro 1:30; 2Co 12:20. Evil surmising. -- 1Ti 6:4. Tale-bearing. -- Le 19:16. Babbling. -- Ec 10:11. Tattling. -- 1Ti 5:13. Evil speaking. -- Ps 41:5; 109:20. Defaming. -- Jer 20:10; 1Co 4:13. Bearing false witness. -- Ex 20:16; De 5:20; Lu 3:14. Judging charitably. -- Jas 4:11,12. Raising false reports. -- Ex 23:1. Repeating matters. -- Pr 17:9. Is a deceitful work -- Ps 52:2. Comes from the evil heart -- Mt 15:19; Lu 6:45.”
  7. Mishneh Torah (Maimonides) (Jewish (Rabbinic)) “Mishneh Torah (Maimonides), Mishneh Torah%2C Human Dispositions 7:1: A person who collects gossip about a colleague violates a prohibition as [Leviticus 19:16] states: "Do not go around gossiping among your people." Even though this transgression is not punished by lashes, it is a severe sin and can cause the death of many Jews. Therefore, [the warning]: "Do not stand still over your neighbor's blood" is placed next to it in the Torah [ ibid. ]. See what happened [because of] Doeg, the Edomite.”
  8. Mishneh Torah (Maimonides) (Jewish (Rabbinic)) “Mishneh Torah (Maimonides), Mishneh Torah%2C Human Dispositions 7:2: Who is a gossiper? One who collects information and [then] goes from person to person, saying: "This is what so and so said;" "This is what I heard about so and so." Even if the statements are true, they bring about the destruction of the world. There is a much more serious sin than [gossip], which is also included in this prohibition: lashon horah , i.e., relating deprecating facts about a colleague, even if they are true. [ Lashon horah does not refer to the invention of lies;] that is referred to as defamation of character”
  9. Mishneh Torah (Maimonides) (Jewish (Rabbinic)) “Mishneh Torah (Maimonides), Mishneh Torah%2C Forbidden Intercourse 22:19: Our Sages said: 43 Makkot 23b. A person's soul desires and craves theft and forbidden sexual relations. You will never find a community that does not have some people who are promiscuous regarding forbidden relationships and prohibited sexual conduct. Moreover, our Sages said: 44 Bava Batra 165a. Most people trespass with regard to theft; a minority with regard to forbidden sexual conduct, and all with regard to the shade of undesirable gossip. 45 This term refers to remarks concerning a colleague that are not actually l”
  10. Heidelberg Catechism (Reformed) “Heidelberg Catechism (Reformed, 1563), Q. What is the aim of the ninth commandment?: Q. What is the aim of the ninth commandment? A. That I never give false testimony against anyone, twist no one’s words, not gossip or slander, nor join in condemning anyone rashly or without a hearing.1 Rather, in court and everywhere else, I should avoid lying and deceit of every kind; these are the very devices the devil uses, and they would call down on me God’s intense wrath.2 I should love the truth, speak it candidly, and openly acknowledge it.3 And I should do what I can to guard and advance my neighbor”
  11. Mishneh Torah (Maimonides) (Jewish (Rabbinic)) “Mishneh Torah (Maimonides), Mishneh Torah%2C Forbidden Intercourse 15:18: If people at large gossip about her while she is consecrated, [saying that] she was promiscuous with the man to whom she was consecrated and with others, the child is a mamzer whose status is questionable. 57 This is speaking about an instance when we cannot clarify the child's status by asking the mother. [This applies] even if the man to whom she was consecrated was intimate with her in her father's home. For just as she acted loosely with the man to whom she was consecrated, she could have acted loosely with others. I”
  12. Babylonian Talmud (Jewish (Rabbinic)) “Babylonian Talmud, Sotah 99b.61:15: Rabbi Yehoshua disagrees, as he did in the mishna (2a), and says: He does not divorce his wife in the absence of witnesses until the gossiping women who sit and spin thread by the light of the moon begin to discuss her behavior, as they share the gossip of the town. The Gemara earlier (6b) taught that a woman whose infidelity became subject to this public discussion can no longer be tested by the bitter water of a sota . Consequently, she must get divorced.”
  13. Babylonian Talmud (Jewish (Rabbinic)) “Babylonian Talmud, Sotah 99a.61:15: Rabbi Yehoshua disagrees, as he did in the mishna (2a), and says: He does not divorce his wife in the absence of witnesses until the gossiping women who sit and spin thread by the light of the moon begin to discuss her behavior, as they share the gossip of the town. The Gemara earlier (6b) taught that a woman whose infidelity became subject to this public discussion can no longer be tested by the bitter water of a sota . Consequently, she must get divorced.”
  14. Mishneh Torah (Maimonides) (Jewish (Rabbinic)) “Mishneh Torah (Maimonides), Mishneh Torah%2C Forbidden Intercourse 18:18: Similarly, a minor who states [that a woman was not touched by her captors] in the course of conversation. 70 A minor is not acceptable as a witness. Nevertheless, if he makes statements in the course of his conversation which indicate that a woman - his mother or any other woman - was not molested by her captors, those statements can serve as evidence to grant the woman license to marry a priest. The rationale is that these statements are considered to reflect the truth. We suspect that the child is telling us a represe”
  15. Babylonian Talmud (Jewish (Rabbinic)) “Babylonian Talmud, Sotah 31a.15: Rabbi Yehoshua disagrees, as he did in the mishna (2a), and says: He does not divorce his wife in the absence of witnesses until the gossiping women who sit and spin thread by the light of the moon begin to discuss her behavior, as they share the gossip of the town. The Gemara earlier (6b) taught that a woman whose infidelity became subject to this public discussion can no longer be tested by the bitter water of a sota . Consequently, she must get divorced.”
  16. Mishneh Torah (Maimonides) (Jewish (Rabbinic)) “Mishneh Torah (Maimonides), Mishneh Torah%2C Forbidden Intercourse 17:21: If a rumor is circulated that a virgin has engaged in relation, her [status] does not become suspect and she may marry a High Priest. If a rumor is circulated that she is a maid-servant, her [status] does not become suspect and she may marry a priest. 71 We do not disqualify a woman when there is a question about her lineage unless there is explicit testimony that she is not acceptable ( Maggid Mishneh ). If a rumor 72 This refers even to a rumor substantiated in court ( Beit Shmuel 6:30). circulates in a city that she i”
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